Back before Al Gore invented the internet, I was a poor but honest and virtuous farm boy. I was loved by all, and I loved everyone in return; it was a time of youthful idyll and bliss and my heart was as pure as the driven snow.
But then I got sucked into the internet where I met unsavoury scoundrels like Uncle Bob and Quartermain and Mad Jack and Pete... and I became as deplorable and depraved as they are! My youthful, handsome face twisted into a permanent smirk, my innocence was erased by rude jokes and filthy humour, and I spent my time gobbing and cursing on the blogs and forums with the worst humanity could produce!
With the passing of Uncle Bob I have been stuck looking for a new role model. I'm only 53 years old, I haven't grown up yet and I don't know what I want to be when I finally DO grow up. I considered world famous adventurer, writer, and man-about-town - WL Emery for the job... but he drinks gin. Jack is out, he's even ruder and drunker than I am. Pete has an IQ of 23 and operates at a level of intelligence far above mine. All Quartermain does is fornicate with beautiful young women and get into trouble - the adults say he and I shouldn't play together and they're probably right! HAR HAR HAR!!!
I gotta say that I am really looking hard at the Z Man for my new role model. The man is an emotional battleship: NOTHING gets through his armour and ticks him off! Nothing! His main armament is weapons grade wit and sarcasm and with guns like that - he wreaks intellectual ruin on our moral and intellectual superiors when they stumble or fall.
The Z Man is at his best when he critiques 'Girl Science'. On his podcast, the intro music is Cindy Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun". Every time I hear that damned tune now - all I want to do is burst out laughing! If ya got a few minutes today, check out this week's exciting installment of "Girl Science" at the Z Blog.
Goddamn! Maybe the 80's weren't as great as I remember them...
When my daughter was a toddler she loved that song. She grew up to be an angry, troubled lesbian typical of the great female intellects that appear in the Z Man's podcasts. If you can stomach it - do read the stuff Z links too. Sure, it's funny as hell as these sexually disturbed women put on airs of blatantly phony intellectualism as they try to rationalize their mental illnesses. But - unseen in all that is that somewhere - some old geezer of a father is looking at his daughter and wondering WTF happened ... and for some reason that is just making me laugh now too! The gods piss upon us, boys - so as long as they're doing it to someone else - laugh and enjoy it because ya never know - YOU could be next!
Spud - if you're out there - have a good Friday and a good weekend! And try to have some fun, I suppose. As for me - I am off to church! One of the ladies did some floral fall displays where pumpkins are prominently featured - and that kinda racism and patriarchy can not stand!!!
Quartermain is on standby to bail me out of jail if required - the rest of you try and have some fun too!!! :)