Car Shopping

Z is in the market for a new sports car, possibly.

Like many, he finds car shopping stressful and perplexing. He's not alone, my wife does too. The only thing more contemptable than a car salesman is a politician or a lawyer - maybe a kiddie diddler... HAR HAR HAR!!!

I'm a sales guy too and a fair to good one depending on who ya ask - so I know what kind of games those chitbirds play and I am right at home going into the boards with them and high sticking it. It's all bullshit, of course, they know it, I know it, we know each other knows it - and we do it anyway! How DUMB is that? But honour must be satisfied I guess.

Buying a car is nothing to get stressed or bent out of shape about. You want a car, the sales guy really wants to sell ya one - what could possibly be easier? Here's how ya do it:

1. Select your model and do your homework going in. Don't kick tires, don't waste the salesman's time. He's a pro and you need to be too! Act like one! You should have an idea on sticker prices, and you should know the players you are going to deal with when ya buy. The sales guy will ask you when you intend to purchase - tell him you are going to buy today and MEAN it. Don't try to BS him, he's better at it than you are. Don't get emotional or get your ego in it - the idea is to work out something that works for both of you. In the real world he has to make a buck just like you do.

2. You're going to see at least 3 dealers - maybe more. Tell the salesman up front that price is gonna be what makes or breaks the deal and no bones about it. Tell him you are going to see his competition for price quotes and let him know you'll be making a decision once you've checked them out. Don't be discouraged if he doesn't want to play - if he does that, walk out and don't spare him a second thought.

3. Try to buy from a dealer that you've dealt with before. Being a repeat customer carries big weight with those guys. Go see them first and tell them you would like to give them the last shot at your business once you've checked out the competition - AFTER you've beaten them up for the best price you can get.

With the wife's little Rav - there was hardly any room for any dealing. We got a quote from our home Toyota dealer and went shopping. Two or three shops gave us minor discounts off the list, one wouldn't deal at all - but we didn't hit pay dirt till we went into the Toyota shop on Whyte Ave. It was run by packies and chinamen and lord - they were SLEAZY. The rag head I was dealing with tried to tell me he wasn't gonna play the game with me but got antsy and stressed when I got up to leave - and brought the sales manager in. This guy was a big chink and he figured he could bully me into a buy and got rude as hell about it. I just smiled - which goaded him even further! Next thing we knew he was pounding his desk and waving his fists around and shouting - and my wife literally fled. I just smirked at that idiot and followed. "I can't believe it," I heard him raging, "The guy got up and left...!!!" Jeez...who woulda seen that coming, right? HAR HAR HAR!!!

That afternoon we were about to go see our dealer in town where I would pull down my pants, bend over and sign on the dotted line - when the phone rang. It was the raghead, and he gave me a price that was only about $700.00 off list. That was better than any of the others would do! So I went down to the local shop, told the sales manager there I would pay list - $700.00 and that was that - did he want to do a deal or not? He called me a few names but I think he just did that to stroke my ego and make me feel good... but $700.00 is $700.00.

That was in 2013. The car buying game seems to be changing. I've heard pros try and do what I did and get nowhere - especially with the imports. They're price fixing, the bastids - and the guys at Honda are the worst! I dunno how to take that - 'the price is the price and if ya don't like it - sod off'? That's one way to take the stress out of buying, I guess...

Be of good cheer when you buy. Take control, and don't feel bad if you have to walk. You can always come back later.

Buying a new car should be fun.