Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Sunday, 31 December 2017

A Cartridge Slide

It's not finished yet. It's going to go on a belt for use at the range.
I made the pattern for it and it's not bad but it
ain't great either...

You can tell it's home made by a hare lipped retard but for me it's not half bad for a first effort. I've been meaning to make a couple of these for the range bag but never got around to it. Also most of my shooting was with semi autos and for those - ammo management usually means bandoliers and mag pouches of some sort. I'll make some a those too, eventually - but for now - now that I am shooting a (hork, spit) bolt gun - I figured little project might keep my idle hands and mind busy during a cold snap.

Well I better put my junk away - almost time for church and I gotta go pay my respects to my Maker, my wife and community. Hope y'all are staying warm and that things warm up again soon.

NFL Football Redeemed

Gawd, the boys in my family were addicted to team sports on the TV. It bored me to lunacy, I'd rather listen to the women talk than sit there watching it. They're still watching it all I'm sure. They couldn't care less if black felons are using the sport to piss all over the cops and support thugs. To be honest, I don't either because I won't watch it anyways. It's not just the black baboons and the boredom for me, it's the corruption and other BS too. From what I've been reading a lot of men have been cutting the cord and won't watch it either because of all the politics that have crept in.

But maybe - there is a way to redeem the sport?

Hmmmm. Those gals are hitting too! This definitely has possibilities, as far as I'm concerned. It would be a big improvement over what we're seeing from the leagues today.  :)

Saturday, 30 December 2017

My Childhood

Ya Think...?

Polar Patrol: Something's Rotten In Denm...Alberta...

(The Yanks are admonished to say it right! Z is pronounced 'zed')

Well we went out on Morning Dawg Patrol and I think she was a smidge under -30C. We all did great, even poor old Macey. She's getting elderly and Deb said I should consider getting her booties for the weather... and I might. She had them before but she hates them with a passion. She has her days, sometimes she cripples up for the first few steps and then walks it out and she's happy as a clam. Today she was up and at 'em - eager for an opportunity to confront rabbits or any senior delinquents foolish enough to dare the cold - and us!

My Canada Goose Parka is still a little roasty at -30C. That's okay, I just won't layer up under it like I am used to with other coats. A simple tee - and I should be good for our standard patrols. Fact is I should be out at the range right now enjoying the solitude... but I'm downstairs in the workshop with the electric heater going and snoring and farting in my sleep like Mort doing arts n' crafts in the Sword & Saddle Shoppe.

Of course Mort The Schnort was happy too! That wooly POS is happy all the time and he just chugged along behind us, covering our six as we walked. Ya never know when some batchit crazy old fart might creep up behind ya and clock ya with his cane, dontchya know. Mort will handle it!

When we got home I discovered that one of us stinks - badly! I don't think it's me but I will take a yearly shower just to make sure... but I think it's Mort. He's a friggin' pig - he dropped an easy ten pound loaf on the walk and I nearly froze my hands picking it all up... maybe he got some on the fur around his bung. (But ya never know, it could be any of us, as I said).

Hope yer all stayin' warm. Unless you are amply prepared super hero crime fighters like us, you're best to throw another log on the fire, fill up your coffee cup, and maybe stay inside and share some good cheer with some good company.

Have a great Saturday.

Don't Anybody Lend Your Smartphone To Quartermain

Just sayin'... HAR HAR HAR!!!

Wait A Minute...

WTF??? I have a dirty mind and it took me a few seconds to get this one.
Maybe it's because I'm getting old...?

Friday, 29 December 2017

The Hell He Is...

That seems like the bomb to me: prevent embarrassing stains and odours
AND guards your junk at the same time!

Stayin' Warm

It's easy to stay warm up here in the great white north when you're out working or moving around. It's when ya stop that the cold sets in. As a younger man it never bothered me because I was invincible and my blood ran hot. As an old geezer - things're slowing down ... thining out... and the less said about that the better! HAR HAR HAR!!!

Went out on Christmas and poor Macey just crippled up in the cold. She's getting old, but she walked it out and still managed to enjoy herself. For me - I was thermally shocked. We literally went from 0C to about -20C (which is normal and fairly mild around here) - and I couldn't take it either! The warm weather had turned me into a pussy!  :)

I knew this all was coming though and a couple months back I said to hell with winter - I was going to by the best damn parka I could and thumb my nose at winter and weather.

That's a Canada Goose 'Resolute' parka.
God help me, I've turned into a yuppie faggot!
I need some granola!!!!

Up here only the Usual Suspects wear these. We're talking about the flat chested women with bad haircuts (they'll wear these things with sandals), the skinny beardo hipsters with arms like celery stalks that smell like death and excrement, you know the type. The "Choco-mocha-with-cinnamon-sprinkles-latte" crowd.

I don't care about any of that - I wanted the best damn parka I could get so I finally bought one. It cost me an arm an a leg but it was worth it. This garment is built. I only have one problem with it: it may be a little too warm! This parka is the real deal - the kind you see the National Geographic guys wearing at the South Pole. I've never had a coat this warm in my life. It was -20C out this morning and I was sweating. This coat won't come in to it's own till about -30C, methinks.

Which means it would be just perfect for the varminteer who's set up on the bushline to snipe a few coyotes with the trusty 22-250 - or maybe the old stubfart fishing through the ice for some perch or rainbows. I was out at the rifle range in -20C with it, sitting at the concrete bench with the wind blowing and I was as snug as a bug in a rug - and I had the whole range to myself that day.

I guess my final assessment is this: for a younger, more active man in moderate climates like mine, this thing might be overkill. For an older, more sedate sporting gent - it has it's place. I am just itchin' for the -30C weather now though.

Wonder if the dawgs are as pumped as I am?  :)

Women Are Animals...

CH is telling us that typical female behaviour is almost identical to that of feral dogs.

Jim is telling us that human female sexuality is identical to that of feral cats.

For some reason I am disinclined to argue with CH; perhaps it's because there are too many 'walking wounded' over there... the kind of guys that have been hurt by women in past relationships, and now they hate all women with the heat of 1000 suns. You can't have a discussion with somebody like that, much less a debate.

I will argue with Jim; he has his psychotics as well but for some reason they don't phase me the way CH's do. There are some fellas over there at Chateau Heartiste that need a long slow ride on the therapist's couch, if ya catch my drift.

It's like watching fish trying to wrap their heads around the concept of air. Air is a fluid; and the fish will be able to relate to it's properties that resemble those of hydrodynamics. But beyond that - they're completely and utterly lost.

Women want to be raped, pumped and dumped by sub-human retards? They want to be owned and abused? JFC.

It's my scholarly opinion that today's modern woman hasn't got the foggiest clue about what she wants! Most of our modern men are in the same boat! For my two cents, I attribute antisocial female behaviours with liberalism. Liberals hate the responsibilities that go along with families, communities and nations and feel that those responsibilities intrude on their 'freedom'. (For them freedom seems to mean doing street drugs and f***ing anything that moves). That's why they are in so much trouble now: feminism has reduced women to mere whores, and their men are rapists that can't distinguish between rape/molestation/harassment - and free love. They're imploding now too - old liberal women are often lonely cankles that live with cats, and their men are filthy predators being sent to Pervert Island by the boatload!

It's sad to see grown men thinking like that - and just another indicator of what trouble we're in.

Thursday, 28 December 2017

Retard Science Class

Stephen Hawking. Einstein. Farnsworth. Fah! Academic quacks!

When we were kids my wife's little brother got hold of some dry ice. And, because their father was a packrat recycler - there was an ample supply of empty pop bottles in the garage. Of course, being idiots, we decided to have some fun do some science with them.

Can any of you say 'sublimation'?
Bonus points if ya can define it.

Latest North Korean Super Weapon

What kind of demented chit does something like this?
It's like putting a bayonet on a pistol...!!!

Now That's A Lady That Loves Her Man!

Well lookit that! She does all his reloading for him! Isn't that sweet!!!!

I tried to get my wife to reload my ammunition for me but she told me that with all the cooking and cleaning and chores she did ... wellp, I could just get stuffed!!! Can you imagine my chagrin? We live in the age of contemptuous, disobedient women, fellas. Maybe it's best we did our own reloading from here on out...  :)

Some Last Introspection For 2017

I've never run into Malcom before - but I may need to put him up on the Toilet Roll. The analogy between life and the stream is so apt. I am glad he thinks he will prevail and I sincerely hope that in his world - he does. May you in yours as well. The people in my family all want to drift on that current Malcom describes, and be carried along with everyone else, safe and serene in their little bubbles of security. Like Malcom - I dug in and held against that current and watched my family literally be carried away by it. I literally have no idea where some of them are now - they disappeared round that bend in the stream a long time ago. A lot of us are in that boat.

Are they happy where they are now? From what I've seen they are. Some people just have to go with the flow. As for me - I've set my feet here, and by the grace of God Almighty - here is where I intend to stay. My life and home may be humble - but it's home.

I am putting down a flu bug today - but as for the rest of you - have a great Thursday!

Is That Blasphemy? Is It Funny?


When I was a kid political cartoons could sway public opinion almost as well or better than a well written article in the mainstream media. I found that some used humour to such devastating affect that even if you disagreed with the artist's politics, you had to laugh and agree with the message of the cartoon. Nowadays it seems that the political cartoon seems to have fallen by the wayside and been replaced by the 'internet meme'.

Humour as a political weapon takes real wit and finesse to wield. What I've been seeing lately is that the political left no longer does humour. Sure, they have memes and cartoons that insult and degrade and denigrate - but they seem to lack the humorous 'zing' required make the message hit home. I wonder about that - has the left lost its collective sense of humour because they've lost their intellect and wit? Or is it because everything is offensive now - right up to and including a good belly laugh?

Tuesday, 26 December 2017

Sunny's Splash N' Dash Car Wash

Gotta admire the man's efficiency!  With that set up he and Aggie can get much needed baths at the same time! HAR HAR HAR!!!

Hmmmm... I am beginning to smell a little ripe too! Maybe I should take a few swirls around Sunny's bowl too...

The Original Rat Rod

Yannow Hollywood is well and truly hooped. Mad Max kinda sucked the first time around (I don't care what anyone says, it wasn't the stuff of great cinema or literature. Oh sure, it was a fun little flick... but great fiction, it was not). It's pretty bad when they have to remake old B movies.

It's nice to think that in a world where everyone fights to the death over every last drop of precious gasoline - there is still room for metal gods like this that inhale it by the drum...

Monday, 25 December 2017

Merry Christmas!

Christmas used to be a rough time for us. When our daughter flipped her lid and disappeared, and our in laws started running their mouths, picking sides and throwing shots - our family disintegrated. Christmas was the only time I even vaguely missed them and it hurt doubly hard - everyone else was normal, right? Everyone else was making the holiday special and fun - and here we were with cinders. It's easy to start feeling sorry for yourself and I did just that. It's one of the biggest sins a man can commit.

But time heals and I began to look back on Christmas for what it was - a time of stress. There were all the presents to buy, the nutty crowds in the stores and at Christmas dinner - the even nuttier family politics. We couldn't sit down as a family and have fun - there was always the goading and cheap shots and veiled insults. The last few times I sat grinding my teeth, seriously considering getting up and leaving those people to themselves. Who needs that shit?

All that's gone now. My wife started dragging me to church this year and I was finally able to see this holiday as the celebration it's supposed to be. It's an incredible experience: I used to hear those sanctimonious bible thumping holy rollers yapping about keeping Christ in Christmas and think, 'Yeah, right. Screw that! Christmas is supposed to be fun!' I thought they were saying stuff like that to bring everyone down or something. In reality it's not like that at all - I think a lot of them see all this Christmas stupidity and are trying to tell everyone - there is absolutely no need for it. They're right about that too. There's a lot of beauty in the faith that gets lost in the shopping rush, the commercials, and the glint and glitter.

Last night I was almost run over in the Sobey's parking lot. Some kid ran a stop sign and turned while I was in the middle of a cross walk. He must have seen me, but he was stressed out of his gourd and I could see his old lady in the passenger seat screeching at him. He missed me by a couple inches. Like I used to be - he was mad at the world. His version of Christmas made him that way. He tore down the street and turned - and I heard more horns blaring and revving engines as he went round another corner.


If your family is messed up - don't get stressed. It's easy to say, but hard to do, at first. Do something that's good for you. There's a lot of families that don't work right anymore and there's not a blessed thing you can do about it. All you can do is forgive 'em, maybe throw a prayer out for 'em, and look after yourself. Hopefully they will do the same at some point and maybe things'll work out later.

Today I am going to take the dawgs out on a field trip and the Missus has agreed to come. I recently found some treasure right under our noses and figure today might be the day to take advantage of it.

This is YOUR day, one that your Maker set aside for YOU. Ya can't take care of anyone else if ya don't take care of yourself. Merry Christmas to you, in whatever shape or form that takes for ya.

Sunday, 24 December 2017

Christmas Fun With Eeeeevil Jooooos

As an aficionado of rude jokes and off colour humour,
I loved this.
But in today's political climate... it leaves pause for thought.

Saturday, 23 December 2017

Street Justice

Clap clap clap clap
Give this one time to load and play, it's worth it!

When We Are All Kings

A Post Card From WW2

I remember seeing photos from WW2 where the ordies would draw pictures and write messages on bombs and artillery. They had messages like 'This One's For You Adolf!' but my favourite one read, "If you can read this, you are one lucky son of a bitch!"

Or maybe your Maker is trying to send you 
a message of sorts!


Actually, if you gotta do stuff like this -
you need a new wife.

Friday, 22 December 2017

What Kind Of Idiot...

Fer gawdsakes. It's a Webley! Ya break it open and it spits all the empties out and ya refill it! What kind of maroon used a weapon like that?

Thursday, 21 December 2017

Fuggin Blogger! Anybody have any bright ideas???

For some reason I am losing comments from my most respectable visitors.

I've lost comments from world famous wife beater adventurer, novelist, and man-about-town - WL Emery. J Bogan has also somehow found himself on the blog's Autonamous Mechanical Chit Sifter. It must think they are spammers or something...? The only reason I know they are posting is because their comments show up in my mailbox.

If anyone has any ideas please let me know. If anyone else is having problems please leave a comment below - I have no idea what this blog is doing.

Winter Solstice - Long Morn

Ugh. Winter is tough on me - I love the weather, it's downright balmy by Aaaaaadmontin standards... but I HATE the short days and endless nights. Lookit that - darn near quarter to nine and the rooster is still snoozing on his perch! Ya go to work in the dark, ya come home in the dark. The sun sets at 4:15 here today.

Winter Solstice is a big thing for me personally. While I am an outhouse Christian of sorts, I also like the idea of pagan blood sacrifices to the sun and would like nothing better than to dress up in a loin cloth, do the Oogah-Boogah round a volcanic campfire - and sacrifice our politicians to the old gods in hopes of currying their favour for a prosperous new year! HAR HAR HAR!!! HAR HAR HAR!!

But - this is life in the Great White North. And there's a plus side to everything. Back when my wife and I were kids, this long haired liberal f-knuckle accidentally produced one of the most endearing of Canadian songs. Today he's just another greasy, elderly hippy but he can still sing, oddly enough. Once you understand that Bruce Cockburn is just another liberal dancing monkey not to be taken seriously - you can truly enjoy his music. He is a product of Morontario, Tranna to be specific, where the asshole density is almost as high as it is in New York City, if ya catch my drift!

I hope your loved ones are close on this longest, if not the coldest night of the year.  :)


If it makes ya feel better, chicke - ladies stink more.
I think it's because of all the vegetables they eat.

Years ago we were all in the gym doing final exams. There must a been hundreds of us in long lines and the profs and instructors patrolled as we wrote, looking for cheaters, scribers and crib notes. None of us cared; we knew the material and were chugging through it.

I was working away when this ungodly stench settled over my area. "GAH," I gagged. "What's going on there, Filthie? Got something to say? Speak up!!" an instructor scolded. "Somebody has surely shat his pants, sir," I replied. I was scolded and ordered to get back to work. I noticed Stu The Jew almost about to have a stroke trying not to laugh, the bunghole.

Then Aenus McGroin leaned over and cut a business like ripper that was even worse. He didn't even bother with the ol' One Cheek Sneak. I hunched my head down and pulled my shirt collar up over my nose. Everyone else around did the same. Then Pearl (Alberta's Ugliest Rig Pig) hit the afterburners and now several of the profs and patrollers were smirking. "Don't be shy you guys," I bitched, "come on over here and make sure none of these zipper heads are cheating!!!" Mike, our Process Control instructor assured us that he could see us just fine from well outside the stink zone.

My hands were flying across the calculator, I couldn't write fast enough. The various stenches had intermingled and formed a reak that was exponentially worse than they were by themselves. I was almost weeping from the fumes and inhumanity.

And then my own guts gurgled.

Out of nowhere the pressure spiked and I struggled briefly for structural containment - and then said to hell with it. I let 'er rip and I swear they could feel the percussive vibrations through the floor 15 feet away! Thank you, Fart Gods! I must a hit a solid 10 on the Rectum Scale.

"Take that!" I said! I revelled in the groans and moans of anguish of the poseurs and squatters around me. I had achieved air superiority with a mere thirty second controlled burn. Looking back on it - it was probably my greatest achievement in my post secondary education. When I handed in my exam Mike rudely admonished me to go check my pants. "Unless you can do better, Mike - suck it up, princess."

Laughter rippled through our noble number that day, but no challengers stepped forward. I got that test back later and scored a whopping 98% - even better than Kenny The Chink who could do advanced mathematics in his head.

Some Roman dude said long ago that  'Death smiles at every man. All a man can do is smile back'.

Don't take any crap off anyone - and keep smilin'!

Wednesday, 20 December 2017

The Claymores Were Set By The Chimney With Care...

In the hopes that St. Nick soon WTF...?

If there are any squaddies out there that can get me a box of pineapple hand grenades I would really appreciate it. I would take them down to the dump and throw them at the piles of garbage just to watch them explode and laugh like a loon! Some kids never grow up.

I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself. When I was a kid I wanted a machine gun too - but the thought of reloading shells for that beast, and blapping off the lot in a few seconds... just doesn't appeal to this old geezer any more. It would be fun to frighten the liberals and panty waists though.

Hmmmmm. I'm kinda thinkin' I am gonna end up with a lump of coal again. There is no justice.

Albertan Halibut

Fish is low in saturated fats and good for the heart dontchya know...

Part Marks, Quartermain...

But he DID set a Christmas tree speed record!

71 Frooty Colours Of The Rainbow Now...

This one falls under the category of Potential Fake News too - but from the stubfarts at the rod n' gun club (half of whom are perverts themselves and would know about such things, HAR HAR HAR) - Here's the list. You can count 'em if ya want, I can no longer be bothered with this crap any more.

According to facebook, these are the 71 genders.

  • Asexual
  • Androgyne
  • Androgynes
  • Androgynous
  • Agender
  • Bigender
  • Cis Man
  • Cisgender
  • Cis Female
  • Cis
  • Cis Woman
  • Cisgender Female
  • Cisgender Male
  • Cisgender Man
  • Cis Male
  • Cisgender Woman
  • Female to male transgender man
  • Female to male transsexual man
  • F2M
  • Female to male trans man
  • Female to Male
  • FTM
  • Gender Nonconforming
  • Gender Fluid
  • Gender neutral
  • Genderqueer
  • Gender Variant
  • Gender Questioning
  • Hermaphrodite
  • Intersex person
  • Intersex man
  • Intersex
  • Intersex woman
  • Male to Female
  • MTF
  • Male to female trans woman
  • Male to female transgender woman
  • Male to female transsexual woman
  • Man
  • M2F
  • Neutrois
  • Neither
  • Non-binary
  • Other
  • Polygender
  • Pangender
  • Trans*Man
  • T* woman
  • Trans*Person
  • Trans Male
  • Trans*Woman
  • Two* person
  • Trans Man
  • Trans*Female
  • Transexual Female
  • Two-spirit person
  • Transexual Male
  • Trans
  • Transexual Man
  • Trans*Male
  • Transexual Person
  • Transexual
  • Transexual Woman
  • T* man
  • Transgender Female
  • Trans Female
  • Transgender Person
  • Trans Person
  • Transmasculine
  • Two-spirit
  • Woman

Pre-Holiday Perspectives From The Littlest Airport

I just wrapped up my last drone build. It's that little tiny one in front of the big one. I used to be so proud of that big one - there used to be a lot of skills required to scratch build these things: you have to be good with electronics. You have to be good with computers. You have to be good with computers, aerodynamics and programming to tune them. Although that's changed drastically now - when I built that big one two years ago it took me a couple weeks just getting the flight controller to talk to the computer. The electronics were big, bulky, and semi-reliable. Two years later all that is a snap, the programming utility is an app, tutorials are all over YouTube, and a novice can build a better machine than that big POS with ease. Put it in perspective - that big one flies. That latest smaller one darts. It even puts out a 'heads up display' on my goggles. I literally have as much info from that tiny machine as General Chuck Yeager has on his F16 fighter jet! I have the digital compass, artificial horizon, current draw, voltage, pitch, yaw and roll and some other junk that I don't even know what it does! All this from a tiny machine that fits in the palm of your hand.

Sure, sitting in my basement by the heater building toys is a grand time. I would drowse as I built, or listen to the little radio my wife bought me, or sometimes I'd get up and go harass the dawgs. But - I'm restless, these days.

I'm watching other bloggers that are doing things. BW is travelling all over hell's half acre, photographing and preserving 'Abandoned Alberta' with pics of crumbling school houses, rural churches and prairie ghost towns. Sunny is working away on the farm, doing his chores and building an antique Model A Coupe. CM and her husband are rural folk too, busy with backyard chickens and the home n' garden thing. I was even reading some other blogger who literally lives off the grid in the mountains in a little cabin with rudimentary facilities. His latest post was about an old neighbour that fell, couldn't get up - and the wood stove went out. The cops rescued him in time, apparently. I've been watching some of those 'tiny house' people on YouTube - who really go off the grid, and their days are filled with chores and laughter. They are deep in the pursuit of happiness while I have been stuck pursuing the almighty dollar. I wonder if they know something I don't?

Sunny is picking up a load of cherry wood.
Be a sport and stack that up in my woodshed for me, Sunny? HAR HAR HAR!!!
Cherry wood! Here in Alberta we get poplar, birch, spruce and pine...and 
that's pretty much it for freestanding timber...
I would LOVE to be able to burn cherry, apple, and other fresh cut hardwoods.

I sit here, playing with my guns and my toys. I don't like some of the people I work for any more, and I am damn sure some of them don't like me. Other than that, I sock money in the bank for all I'm worth and wonder what will happen to it when the politician's spending comes to a rude halt and the bills have to be paid. I'm overweight. Gonna be 54 this year, deep in heart attack country. There's no place in my family of pozzed liberal proggies for a man that is mildly Christian and majorly conservative - and lordy, they have all the predictable problems of their own, never mind my problems with them.

It's time to change. I gotta start eating better and getting out more. I gotta let some of my baggage go and I've done some of that already. I need to exercise more. I don't drink the way I used to any more, and that's a good thing.

2018 is going to be a hard but good year for me, by the looks of it. May it be even better for you!

Probably Even Before MY Time...

What woulda one of these cost back in the 70's? $15.00~$20.00?

Boy oh boy - that brings back memories. I used to dream of high powered rifles and hunting monster deer and elk as a kid - but my family was a bunch a flaming liberal assholes that hated guns and hunters. I was told 'No guns in this house!!!' and when Mom found my BB gun I got the very hell of it! I told her I was covered under the Second Amendment so she could shove her gun grabbing where the sun don't shine - and I learned that the Second doesn't apply up here in Canukistan.

When I got into my teens I was seriously pro-gun, Mom was outgunned and I read my parents the riot act - I was gonna buy one a those Savage 99 lever guns in .308 and if they didn't like it, they could go jump in the lake. Pop intervened and bought me a .22 for Christmas, bless his heart - and to be honest that is the way to start everyone out. .22's can grow with you - our best snipers at the rod n' gun club get absolutely murderous at the .22 shoots and they play for blood and don't give an inch! Even if the top prize is a cup of coffee, they are banging away with top notch match ammo and $1800.00 target guns. Rimfires can be as serious as the big centrefire guns.

Little kids, say 10 and under - get 'em a Daisy BB gun and they can play with it without getting in too much trouble. I know they make midget .22's for little kids - but they like to play. .22's are serious guns they can grow into later. (That's just my two cents, your kid will tell you when they are ready to move up). In my experience kids need to be around 13 or 14 before you can leave 'em with a gun and trust them with it.

Keep the marksman in mind this Christmas! And for the farm kids and bohunks out there - some Christmas cheer, courtesy of the rich and famous Nestor Pistor!

I think Ukranian Christmas is in January - but don't hold me to that.
Who knows with Bohunks...?
I will find out about that and wish them a Merry Christmas later.

Tuesday, 19 December 2017


What is that...? An old snub nosed Webley..? A Schofield variant...?

Pain Thresholds

Oh, here we go with the same old, same old gender victim crap. Pain? Boys n' girls, I will tell you what REAL pain is.

Last year at the end of the summer Mad Jack had a shindig down in the trailer park. We had a shooting match over at the playground and then went back to Jack's for a BBQ steak supper. Guys like that take the BBQ pit seriously; I think my steak must a been a 60 ouncer - I couldn't eat it all. But Pete Forester not only ate his - he had a couple baked potatoes and half a pie for desert! I dunno where he put all the beer he drank.

Later on as the evening settled down a shriek of unimaginable pain came from the outhouse, and we had to call an ambulance to take Pete away!

Try giving birth to a Texas Democrat, people.
THEN tell me all about 'pain'...

Pete survived the ordeal and today he subsists on boiled cabbage, prune juice, and broccoli. Tell him your stories of pain and perseverance, and let me know how he takes it. Pain, like everything else, is best kept in perspective.

Have a great Humpday, and may your pains be small!

Wishing All The Moslems A Merry Christmas...

...and a hearty "Fuck You".

I dunno how trustworthy that news source is but it made me feel good to see somebody finally standing up to these animals and their liberal enablers. Good work, Mr. President.


Courtesy of WL Emery, world famous explorer, adventurer, novelist, and man-about-town:

Completely false.

Miller shares fake news story, trumpets Trump

Sid Miller admits to posting false account of Donald Trump removing Muslim judge

*** Sorry WL... for some reason blogger seems to have lost your comment. I appreciate the fact checking. Nothing (and I mean NOTHING - pisses me off more than fake news. I don't mind when leftists and proggies do it - they are morons and their consumption of fake news proves it. I expect better of us.

Monday, 18 December 2017


Last week Big Al had to let one of the dummies in the lab go. Apparently he went out for a smoke, fired up a big blunt - and spent half the day higher than a kite.

When Al hired him me n' Flapz took one look at him and said to each other: "Pot Head!" Then we started raggin' on Al and accusing him of being a bubble head too. Of course he told us to get stuffed.

So after the firing, Al sat in his desk while Flapz gloated. "Filthie and I profiled him right off the bat, Al. Did you know that guy really isn't a kid? He's in his thirties - and still has his parents driving him to work!"

"Well, you two assholes can hire the next one then!" Al groused. I fled as Al made to grab a heavy stapler to throw at me. I went into the lab where Brent was fuming. "Can you imagine, raising your kid with a fuggin work ethic like that?" he griped, "Cripes - all we need is a guy with a pulse who gives a damn. If you can't make it here...where else is there for guys like that?"

This looks like sage advice on the face of it...

My parents tried to give me all the things they wished they'd had. They failed in spades, I did not turn out the way they wanted me to and they make no secret of it. It used to hurt, still does sometimes - but ya come to grips with it.

Unlike them I tried to teach my daughter the things I wish I had known when I was younger and instill a work ethic - and she fought me every step of the way and hated me for it. Ya ever see that motivational poster with beautiful inspirational seaside landscapes? "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." I used to laugh at that and think some chit house poet came up with it for a Hallmark greeting card or something. But now I know exactly what it means.

I wish I had something insightful and inspirational to say about parenting and kids - but I'm tapped out! All I can say is this: kids are a crap shoot. Crappy parents can have great kids, and good parents can raise monsters. If we're all lucky and we don't do anything stupid - hopefully our kids will land in the middle of all that.

Hey - who's the idiot that started this maudlin conversation, anyways? Have a great Tuesday!

Colder Weather On The Way...


The hell of it is we have been enjoying downright balmy temperatures. The enviro-wanks, the smelly hippies and the weird Dippers have been pissing and moaning about warble gloaming something fierce! And then when we get cooler temps like minus 5~10C ... it's a shock to the system and EVERYONE whines and cries about it.

It's not that bad, after a week or so everyone acclimates and adjusts to it and everything is good.


Pervert? Or Genius?

Given my druthers, I could wake up in the morning and start eatin' hot dogs all day long until I went to bed at night! Ya gotta get the campfire just right - like this fella has here. When I was a kid and we were kings ya just took a few steps into the bush, cut a sapling, willow or something similar - and ya had an instant wiener stick. Ya took a few more steps - and you could take a leak and nobody would see you.

Nowadays some of the provincial campsites are just awful. They actually stink of urine, some of 'em, and you can get shot for cutting any trees or undergrowth. Firewood is obscenely expensive, and all they're fit for is teens out helling to drink and do drugs and party all night long. I won't even get into the outhouses.

It's sad that now if you want to go 'camping' about the only places worth going to are privately run, policed and monitored, with carefully groomed sites. That's okay for grumpy old men like me but for kids? There should be forests for them to explore and play in, without big brother and helicopter parents watching every single thing they do. They should have room to breathe.

I am going to look into boondocking when I go camping this year. I don't need water and power and hook ups, and I like to get away from people when I go camping - not mashed in beside them and charged through the nose for it.

Christmas Kiddies

There are times when even guys like me can look at our daughters that try us - and say 'Welp - it could always be worse...!" HAR HAR HAR!!!

Christmas Candy From The Kids

An arsehole? With a sweet tooth?
Who woulda thunk it???

Sunday, 17 December 2017

Saturday, 16 December 2017

Good Morning

Gaze upon my work, vegatarians, and weep with sorrow!

Me and my esteemed breakfast guest will continue
on without our vegetarian friends
if you don't mind.

Chowing Down

When We Were Kings

I've never been a car guy. There are only two sports cars I would sell my soul for: the Corvette, or the GTO. Sadly the GTO has fallen by the wayside... but lordy - the new Vettes can even get my blood pumping.

Of course this is all ego and nothing but.
The grey hairs I see driving these things putt along at sensible
speeds and spend more time polishing
them than driving them.