Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Friday, 8 December 2017

From Uncle Bob's Porn Stash


When Uncle Bob passed away and I became the new Principal of The School For Wayward Boys N' Retards - I got Bob's old office and set about making it mine. You shoulda seen the clutter and crap Bob had amassed over the years! A huge file full a paper and photos entitled 'Who REALLY Shot JFK - TOP SECRET - EYES ONLY'. Who in hell is JFK? I threw it in the garbage along with files about some place called Atlantis, the current address of Adolph Hitler and some glowing, humming crap I found in a box labelled "UFO Artifacts". The man was a human pack rat!

Once I had the office cleaned up and ship-shape I looked for a place to hide my whisky bottle - medicinal of course, for those days when problem students like Pete or Jack or Quartermain are acting up and ruining my day. I spied a perfectly innocent file cabinet - and hit gold! I found Bob's Porn Stash! Woo Hooo!!!! I locked the door, poured myself a drink and started thumbing through it.



Vintage porn! How fortuitous that I am a collector!
(I only read it for the literary content, of course).
What else is in here, Bob?
50 Shades Of Gay...?
HAR HAR HAR!!!!

Hmmmmmm. By reading Harlequin romances and trash pulp fiction - it seems that Bob was able to use them as some sort of guide to unravel the female psyche! As I went through his collection I found love letters to all the skanks girl friends he had, along with pics.


That's Lucy Gumshoe - Bob was forever getting in trouble
with trashy women.

All this may just be retro-smut to some folks, but to me they are touch stones from a time when we were better people, living in better times. Unlike most of you young punks, I was there and I lived in that country that was so much better than the one you live in today. Perhaps I will make periodic excerpts from Bob's Porn Stash part of my blog, so that the younger men out there might learn from it.

It's Friday! Raise a glass to toast your friends, those present, and those absent!




1 comment:

  1. Oh, you were there, were you? I was there, and I don't remember seeing you anywhere, Mister I've-Got-A-Brand-New-Library.

    If you want a glimpse of the real past as we glorified, bona-fide, and certified real old men remember it, check out this one: Censorship!.

    Here's a tip of the old fedora and a hoist of the late, late afternoon bourbon glass to you.

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