Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Saturday, 30 December 2017

Polar Patrol: Something's Rotten In Denm...Alberta...

(The Yanks are admonished to say it right! Z is pronounced 'zed')

Well we went out on Morning Dawg Patrol and I think she was a smidge under -30C. We all did great, even poor old Macey. She's getting elderly and Deb said I should consider getting her booties for the weather... and I might. She had them before but she hates them with a passion. She has her days, sometimes she cripples up for the first few steps and then walks it out and she's happy as a clam. Today she was up and at 'em - eager for an opportunity to confront rabbits or any senior delinquents foolish enough to dare the cold - and us!

My Canada Goose Parka is still a little roasty at -30C. That's okay, I just won't layer up under it like I am used to with other coats. A simple tee - and I should be good for our standard patrols. Fact is I should be out at the range right now enjoying the solitude... but I'm downstairs in the workshop with the electric heater going and snoring and farting in my sleep like Mort doing arts n' crafts in the Sword & Saddle Shoppe.

Of course Mort The Schnort was happy too! That wooly POS is happy all the time and he just chugged along behind us, covering our six as we walked. Ya never know when some batchit crazy old fart might creep up behind ya and clock ya with his cane, dontchya know. Mort will handle it!

When we got home I discovered that one of us stinks - badly! I don't think it's me but I will take a yearly shower just to make sure... but I think it's Mort. He's a friggin' pig - he dropped an easy ten pound loaf on the walk and I nearly froze my hands picking it all up... maybe he got some on the fur around his bung. (But ya never know, it could be any of us, as I said).

Hope yer all stayin' warm. Unless you are amply prepared super hero crime fighters like us, you're best to throw another log on the fire, fill up your coffee cup, and maybe stay inside and share some good cheer with some good company.

Have a great Saturday.


  1. And, by the way, Happy New Year to you and yours.

  2. Same to you Jack! Keep drinkin' and keep stinkin'! All the best for 2018!