Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Thursday, 31 May 2018

Retard Rocketry

There goes Jack again, always doing a half assed job of everything!!
Somebody hold my beer - has anyone got any big bore stuff?
88mm or bigger - set me up and I'll show ya how it's done.

Oh Hell Yes

Filthicus: Blood And Sand

It's been a good week around Castello Di La Filthie. I see Borepatch thinks like I do about the Roseanne kerfuffle, and offers an interesting historical parable in his scholarly screed. I read the other Hollywood dickheads are falling over themselves to distance themselves from her too. It's a good read, and reminds me of my own Roman leanings - it's time for another round of bloodsport, where monsters and innocents fight and die in the arena - for our enjoyment!

With nothing worthwhile coming out of Hollywood other than unsportsmanlike witch burnings - I intend to raise the bar on entertainment. This week, I did the honours myself: rather than sending retards like Quartermain and Pete and Jack half way round the world to catch blood thirsty monsters to fight and die in the arena - I did it myself! I grew weary of crucifying and torturing my lickspittles and henchmen for failing me. If ya want something done - you'd best do it yourself.

Canadian black bears have been killing unwary hunters, hikers, and campers ever since the whiteman landed on the continent! And - just like humans - the worst of the worst are the sows with cubs! I set up a trail cam, released the monsters into BW's back yard - and tape recorded the mayhem and savagery that was sure to ensue when he came out in the morning! The footage has just been uploaded, so join me in some REAL Friday blood sport!!! This is gonna be good! I can't wait to hear the screams of pain!!!!

Who is responsible for this affront to Emperor Filthie and the Empire?!?!?
I want the perpetrator crucified at once!!!

Errrrr.... oh, shit. Well, it looks like I am gonna get crucified this time! I can hear the Pratorians and Centurions coming for us now! Oh well - it's been a slice. Looks like I'll be busy this weekend, so - keep the spirits up everyone! You can bet me and my retards will.

Have a good Friday, y'all!


Wednesday, 30 May 2018

And, Because It's Worth Repeating:

In my tours of the Man-O-Sphere I've seen it posited that tats on women is a sure sign of unstable character. And if ya say that to the wrong person in the wrong place, some women will start foaming at the mouth and calling you names because you're generalizing or being a chauvinistic bigot. Some get so spun up they prove you right.

Rosanne Gets Un-Personed And Hurled Into The Void


The only mistake Rosanne made was in apologizing. It's easy to do when you get surprised by adults acting like children. And of course, because liberals are petulant children - she was excommunicated and exiled as a warning to any other Hollywierdos that might dare to speak against the interests of The Hive. Same thing happened to me years ago when I dared to notice that queers are not healthy normal people living a beautiful alternative lifestyle.

Of course it's obvious what's really going on here. This isn't about racism, it's about politics. If I understand the situation correctly, the show she was bringing back promised to NOT to be the usual  social justice propaganda, and it showed promise of being popular and making a buck. Can't have that, can we?

We saw the same thing up here in Canada awhile back. CBC was hyping a new 100% Canadian television sitcom that was gonna set the world on fire - called "Little Mosque On The Prairie". It very well could have too... but the writers for the production were the usual assortment of old dumpy liberal cat ladies, sexual degenerates and vibrant cultural ethnics. The show went with sensible and clean muzzies living in the hell of rural Alberta surrounded by stupid, kadiddlehopping white  farmers. Of course it flopped because it was about as funny as drying paint - and it got cancelled.

The Z Man recently noted that this is what leftists do: they get into these once-great organizations and take them over - and promptly destroy the things that made them great. They become boring, dreary play-houses for social justice warriors to police the thoughts of the members - and people start to leave.

I don't watch TV anymore. Won't bother with Twatter or Fecesbook, I'd only get banned the second some  white pasty faced SJW got offended on behalf of moslems, queers, or vibrants. I see very few movies and buy very few books. It leaves me with a thirsty spirit - I would love to be entertained again. I'd like to read a book or watch a movie that was about entertaining the audience rather than lecturing and hectoring it.

Monday, 28 May 2018

A Meme Goes Horribly Wrong...

If you were playing with one a these when you were six, chances are
you are one of the Opportunity Students here
at Uncle Bob's Institute For Retards N' Wayward Boys.

From BW Bandy's Hay Bale Files

Whilst out garbage picking searching for useful items to re-purpose - I came across this in BW's file 13.

I dunno why he didn't post it on his blog.
I don't see anything inappropriate about it all.

Reminds Me Of My Father In Law...

He'd overload EVERY time. His vehicles were always breaking down too, because he treated them like crap and abused them. It pissed me off because then he would borrow my stuff and do the same thing - and laugh when I got mad.

I tend to get morose and melancholy thinking about my imploded family but then there are times when I see stuff like this - and think that maybe this is a better deal for everyone. It certainly is looking that way for me - and then I feel ashamed because a family man should not feel happy about being rid of family. How messed up is that?

My own truck is ten years old this year. It still has at least 5 years in it and has a few very minor dents but it runs well and is reliable. I'd like to get another ten and pay for my next vehicle cash. I buy them new, and keep them until the doors fall off. When I was a kid Pop bought only used vehicles and figgered that because he was a mechanic, he could tell a lemon from a bargain. He did okay I guess, he just bought more used cars. In the time it'd take me to mile out my new vehicles he would go through 5 or six so I wonder if he really saved any money.

Sunday, 27 May 2018

Tomorrow Belongs To You

When I was a kid or a younger man I knew it all. I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

Ireland just legalized abortion.
Look at that ignorant child. You'd think she and the chubsters, soy boys and
freak shows in that crowd had just routed the 
Japanese at Iwo Jima or something.
They won the right to kill their children.

When I was a kid I knew it all and life was easy. The early stage fetus is a clump of cells; it can't reason, it can't even feel pain because the brains and nerves required for that have not developed. You can't murder something like that any more than you can murder a cancer tumor. A tumor can't have a soul, and neither can a fetus.

And how I loved to tell those adults and stuffy Christians what they could do with their opinions on the subject. 'I am an adult now, I have my own morals, my own opinions and I will make my own decisions - and if you don't like it you can get stuffed!' I must have looked much like that chick in the pic.

They were grand times - you could aggravate the chit out of your parents and hold your own opinion. You could act on them too and all they could do is sit and watch helplessly. HAR HAR HAR! Fuck 'em!!! I was either a tail end Boomer or leading edge Gen X and when I became a young adult, MY message was going to be heard.

And it was.

Parents and grandparents watched us with dismay and zipped their lips. We shouted our opinions on our new world  from the rooftops and all eyes were on us. But other eyes were watching us too. Small, silent, missing nothing. They watched us the way we watched our parents. And when they came of age, they had THEIR own opinions and they crammed them up our asses the same way this gal and her crowd are.

Nobody talks about Gen Z yet. The millennials are having the time of their lives. But those little kids are watching them with the same intensity they watched us, and with which we watched our own parents. What are they going to make of their elders? You millennials out there really want to be thinking hard about this. This 'tomorrow' is yours. What will happen when your kids have theirs?

The coming civil war will not be about rights.
It will be about morality.
Everyone's gonna get what they have coming too.

I seriously need to ask my Maker to maybe forgive me first.

Saturday, 26 May 2018

Saturday Morning Doubles: The Fausti Sisters

No - not the Fister Sisters that Jack and Quartermain are currently dating - the incomparable Fausti sisters.

I dunno how the disgusting fwench people ever got a reputation
for fine food and women.
The Italians have them beat by a country mile 
7 ways to Sunday.

Now you might ask, "Filthie - what has you perving out over admiring these fine ladies?" Broads with guns, right? It's been done to death by every adolescent and dirty old bloviating-blue-balled-bloggers (Kim du Toit to the bridge on the double!!!) since the internet was invented. What's so special about these two?

Ladies of a higher calibre

I've run hot and cold on scatterguns. My shooting career has been dominated by archery, pistolcraft and riflery. I think now I am turning into a black powder geek. Anyhoo - these ladies are the owners of a small Italian gun maker renowned for their up scale shotguns.

Some YouTube sales and PR, if yer so inclined.

I've busted a few clays on and off again, and shot a few ducks and upland birds out in the field. My favourite gun was my dad's battered, ancient Cooey single shot 12 bore. I have a Remington pump gun that turns me right off. I bought a 20 bore side-by-each a few years back and hardly ever shoot it. Might have to rectumfy that this year. A fall walk with dawgs and some ruffed grouse in the offing might blow some dust off my weary soul.

One of the biggest mistakes I personally see in the scattergun world is people buying small guage guns for small people and women. I don't know how many times I've seen kids packing .410's - and the hell of it is that those are expert's guns. Everyone, even kids - should start with a 12 bore. They put a larger load of shot out, they increase the probability of a hit on the clay - and noobs have to succeed and get a positive experience to be properly introduced to the sport. The sweet 28's, and elegant .410's are for serious gunnies like us - who have missed before and will miss again and accept it as part of the sport of the game. Most noobs can handle a 12 - start 'em right! Errr - sorry for the rant. Back on target:

Perfect. A 28 bore is about as small as a guy like me should go
and still expect to hit.
Snipers and wingshots like Borepatch and ASM can probably
still hit with .410's, but I don't have the skills 
or reflexes for that.

Too much bling for me, my guns 
are all working guns. 
They take the odd bump and knock.

When I first started in this game 40 years ago, engraved guns like these were for Texas oil men and tycoons. Today guys like us can afford them - if we really, really wanted too. I hear they start at around 3 grand and go up from there. It annoys me actually - Canadians and Americans should be building guns like these right here in our own back yards. Why are we letting the wops eat our lunch?

Years ago while I was out with Bob The Knob, Skinbag and Flapz, we were pitted in somewhere south west of Camrose on a soy bean field waiting for some Canadas or snow geese to come over. It never fails: the good shots always come when you're taking a leak, or drinking your coffee and running your mouth, or stuffing yourself with sammiches. And that day - a small flock crept up on us without making sound and we didn't even see them until they were right overhead. Bob snatched my Rem 870 and shucked it so fast, it sounded like one of the double guns above - "BA-BOOM"!!! The shots were so fast, the report of the shots merged together - and two geese fell. "Jesus, Filthie - do I gotta do EVERYTHING for ya...?" Bob asked. The cretins all laughed at my expense.

Smirking bastid. Fah - it's Saturday, life is good, and humiliating, contemptuous hunting buddies are only worth the trouble in hunting season! Summer is a time for clays, dinner and wine on the patio, preferably in the company of fine women.

Fill out those score cards honestly, you cheating hoople heads... and have a great Saturday. :)

Comic Book WHORES

I HATE it when I get busted doing embarrassing things like that time I got caught in the goat shed at Sunnybrook Farm like my eccentric literary tastes.

He looks like a fag.
Captain Sweatpants would make mince meat out of him.
Just sayin'.

A hundred years ago there was a rude YouTube where the dawg drags out the old lady's vibrator in front of her and her friends while they're over having coffee. I now know how that hapless young lady felt - when fuggin Quartermain raided my comic book stash and dragged this out to embarrass me with! He's always picking on me for some reason. (Can't imagine why neither). Quatermain must have an issue of that one because he says it wasn't that bad. I think I bought mine sometime in the mid-70's and I spent the year trying to trade that sucker off for something good - but to no avail. The cool kids decreed that Captain Canada sucked cack (and he probably did, given his publishers) - and I got stuck with it. Later in the 90's I heard the issue was fetching a couple hundred bucks amongst the geeks that collected comic books. This group of maladjusted young adult comic collectors would later become the first generation of adult cellar dwellers. But I digress.

Now we're talkin'! Killer robots, bimbos and cavemen!!!
Proto-science fiction perfect for the snot nosed kid!!
This was one of my favourites as a youngster.

As a young fella I made a small fortune on pop and beer bottles. I blew the lot on comic books, junk food and toys. I was the first kid in my town to kill himself on a skateboard. When Mom and Dad found out I was saving up for a .22 they shat their pants because guns are bad, right? I ended up with a metric tonne of comic books instead. One day I got tired of trying to find space for them in my room and I threw out the lot or gave them away. I'll bet if I were able to sell that collection to modern collectors today, I'd probly have enough cash to pay Mad Jack's bar tab, HAR HAR HAR! HAR HAR HAR!!!

Most kids hit puberty and mature. I became even MORE immature and started reading some ghastly underground comics that weren't fit to wipe your arse on.

Hmmmm. Fat Freddy bears a striking resemblance
to an old friend of mine - leisure suit Larry.

Then I discovered girls and had to hide my more foolish and deplorable pastimes. Another tonne of comics hit the bin. All was not lost because I discovered that my girlfriend and future wife was an artist herself. I became an acolyte of Heavy Metal - because a the art dontchyaknow.

The comic book evolved into the graphic novel.
Every issue of Heavy Metal had spectacular artwork and some
not-so-perverted, nutty comics that were semi-worthwhile.

My personal favourite and role model - Captain

The kinetic art of El Borbah - a hard nosed,hard drinking detective (and professional wrestler)
that even world famous gum-shoe author, adventurer, and man about town - 
WL Emery - could respect.

The girls are so cute when they're mad.

It's funny. Nowadays - I don't read books or comics at all. SF went for a dump when the pedos and homosexuals took over the genre. I'm old enough to remember reading the originals like Heinlein, Asimove, Bradbury, etc. I did read the spectacular Sandman series by Neil Gaiman or whatever-his-face was - but that must have been 5 years ago?

Today the comic books have gone the same way. The super heroes are all politically correct vibrants, sexual degenerates, Marxists and other liberal turdies. I've watched some of the movies and they are going steadily down hill too. They are so disgusting now though that even I can't stand them.

There's a ray of hope though. I've heard and seen some snippets of Vox Day's ignernt, hateful and most assuredly politically incorrect comic books slated to come out any day now.

Apparently the Alt-Heroes are politically incorrect and 
do nasty things like give the finger
to EU plutocrats, pound the crap out of violent illegal immigrants, smoke, swear
and worry about justice rather than social justice.
It's a great concept - heroes that actually do the 
right thing to the right people that deserve it.

I might have to start picking up pop and beer bottles again. Hmmmm - anyone see which way Jack went...?

Thursday, 24 May 2018

Today's Hate Crime: Rice Rockets

It looks like fun, but I read someplace that the clippers
fertilize the rice paddies with human feces.
Please note, no rude jokes or inappropriate laughter will be tolerated
about this because raycisssssss! HAR HAR HAR!!!
Errr... stop that laughing, damn you!

Tempest In A Teapot

Apparently a leftist rag sheet nobody has ever heard of - besmirched a fwench political faction nobody's ever heard of... and comedy and hilarity ensue.

Fascists are 'far right'? According to Marxist lickspittles? Whatever - another typical Thursday in the province of Queerbec, where the meek the retarded rule the land.

Wednesday, 23 May 2018

No, It Wasn't Me...

... but you would be correct to suspect it.

Woulda thunk that maybe it was BW... but....

I hear he'd bought a new truck for his travels....

A More Mature Version Of The Tide Pod Thing...

Oh hi everyone! Lookit that - swilling the brew right from the perk! Probly heated over a campfire too, no doubt! I am gonna one-up this faker easily when I guzzle mine - from a five gallon jerry can! Get in the game - or go home! Now if you'll excuse me - I gotta work fast! I see Jack is gonna blow my record out of the water when he drinks his from a stinky old workboot! Now THAT is one tough mofo!!!

Humpday Pantaloon Filler

When I did this - it was in an ultralight aircraft called a 'flex wing ultralight' or 'weight shift aircraft' - a fancy way to refer to a motorized hang glider. When I hit the rhubarb I was doing somewhere around 20~25 knots. This guy was probably well north of 100! And what a pro - after the dust settles and he counts his limbs to make sure they're all still with him - he's on the blower telling his buddies he's down and fine. I hung upside down in my mangled bird, gasoline pissing all over me, counted my limbs and then scrambled clear of the wreckage. It was a point of pride for me that I hadn't pished or shat myself in fright! HAR HAR HAR!

In Hollywood the wreck always explodes into flame but mine didn't. It just sat there in the middle of a canola field - a raised middle finger to me from the aviation gods. I was unworthy, and my aviation dreams died that day... probably for the better I suppose. But that's the difference between a real aviator (this guy) and a fake (Yours truly): he'll get back in the next plane and hit the throttles again. My aviation career ended in less than 20 hours air time whereas this guy has wracked up thousands - and will probably accrue a couple thousand more before he retires.

The aviation gods are fickle and will turn on even those that love them most. Flapz had an uncle in BC that had been flying for over 50 years. He was a registered AME (glorified aircraft mechanic), a high time pilot - and crashed in the forest one day. They had to put his leg and face back together, he spent over a year in the hospital and on disability... and when he got out... up he went again. He flew another couple years without incident until he failed a medical and was retired for good.

Today I fly RC crapcopters and aircraft where I can crash with impunity and flip the finger back at the aviation gods. Passions and dreams are great, but some of 'em can get you killed.

Have a great Humpday.

Tuesday, 22 May 2018

Meanwhile, In Mon Trail, Queerbec

A New Bunch Of Grads This Year...

It's about that time a year again. It's that time when kids get out of school, and into the real world - to sink or swim at the whims of fate. I look at the maggots they had for teachers, and I feel sorry for them and what's in store.

Read somewhere on the innertubes that Cankles Clinton was at it again - she was a guest of honour at a grad ceremony for some Yalies or some such - and the fat old bitch started running her mouth about how kids are starting off on the wrong foot, what with democracy being dead and that eeeeeeevil Trump running amok and ruining America for everyone. What a rancid woman, hitting kids with shite like that. Donald Trump is the least of their problems - their share of the national debt IS a huge problem, and the worst of that is attributable to Cankles and that black baboon  she worked for in the previous administration. Oh well, it's not like today's millennials could handle a real job anyways I suppose HAR HAR HAR!!! Get off my lawn you little chits!

I am, however, seeing some positive signs brewing with Generation Z. 

Retard School Intramurals: Biathalon

I set it up originally so that no Texans would be allowed - but some little chit started snivelling about racism and I was over ruled.

Some pasty faced twat was going to start yammering about the second amendment
not covering rocket launchers - and thought better of it
when our Texas friend gave him a dirty look. I think maybe
Texans DO have some redeeming qualities.
But not the fwench-Canadians! They all suck cack.

At One Point These Idiots...

... apparently RULED 3/5 of the globe.

This faggy looking kid is a story in itself about the decline and fall
of formerly Great Britain.

I read somewhere that the police took down a pic of a weapons bust they had made. You know the drill on these things - they'll call a press conference, and proudly display machine guns, grenades, a couple bricks of coke and preen for the cameras. Welp - the kippered morons in England did the same - only their 'weapons haul' had butter knives, scissors and household implements. The result from the public was predictably - and rightfully - scorn and contemptuous laughter.

Hate to say it but it's true - this is what happens when cities and companies get taken over and run by women and minorities. Stir your tea with your pinky fingers, you limey morons - and don't complain to me about it. If you'd kept your guns and common sense you wouldn't be in this boat now. It serves you right.

Yes, We Do So Need A Death Penalty

Fine Dining Notes From BW's Last Road Trip

I follow the travels of the intrepid explorers pretty much every day. They find stuff in my own back yard that is as interesting as anywhere else on the planet. For years I've been telling the owner and proprietor that he should be on the look out for fine dining establishments in his travels as well, and provide us with his scholarly critique. I'm glad he's finally taken my advice.

KD, wieners, and whatever that green chit is that ya throw away! Does life get any better? Methinks not! Welp - it's Tuesday and I gotta go back to work. It's gonna be a short work week but yannow - it never feels that way! I wonder why that is...?

Have a good one folks, and as always - thanks for stopping by.

Monday, 21 May 2018

Monday Morning Steam

Hackaff!!! Cough cough cough!

Cough cough cough - sput!!! GAH! And if ya don't care for these steam powered metal gods in red - we got 'em in green!




I'm sorry everyone! I think I've decided to start smoking again...! Have a great Monday y'all, I am on a long weekend and I'll be thinking of you as a goof off and go about my day! Cheers!

Sunday, 20 May 2018

Pop Quiz: Warehorses

You know the rules: name them all, no cheating! I'll go first!

Dammit. What's that first one? That Russian POS? MVT-40?  (Anyone ever shoot one a those?)
Lee Enfield...Mark 4?
Russian Mosin-Nagant
Russian (or chicom, or Finnish?) SKS
And... the machine gun... German MG34?

The Russian milsurps are going for peanuts up here in Canada. You can buy bulk ammo for them for less than it would cost me to reload it - assuming I could get decent brass. I think most of it is steel cased I think. All I know is that Old Jim at our rod n' gun club curses it because it is apparently non-magnetic, and the poor old stubfart has to bend over to pick it up off the ground rather than using a magnet. At his age that is a big deal - but he does it and cleans up that crap that kids half his age won't. When he goes at it I help him and we yak and chat and BS and before ya know it, the line is clean again and the old boy is happy. I dunno how many more years he has in him as the self-appointed range custodian... and I don't think people realize how much work he does around our club. He's become a much loved fixture around the gun club that folks tend to take for granted.

Today I am going to stop by church for the wife round mid-morning to get preached and speeched at, and after that I will head out to the range with my percussion guns stashed in the murdercycle. This time a year Old Jim holds court in the repair shed at the club. He backs the club UTV's out, the old farts move in with their coffee, lawn chairs and coolers - and bloviate the summer afternoons away. I might join them for a bit, they appreciate the company. Gives them somebody new to yak at, I suppose.

Have yourselves a beautiful summer afternoon - and say hi to your volunteers for me too. :)

Saturday, 19 May 2018

Filthie's Saturday Nite Drive-In

It's been a fair to good week round here at Castello Di La Filthie. I got some work done, the grass is cut, I did the whitewalls on Big Red, Dawgs walked, washed the last of the winter dust off the bike... and now I'm waiting out the noon heat in the house where it's cool. I gotta dump the oil on the mower, the genny, and might do the bike as well - but that can wait for another weekend.

After a hot summer day of chores around the house - why don't we all pack up, go back in time, return to our youth... and hit the drive in? We'll drive the cars of our youth too!  I'll be there, driving my beat up '76 Ford pick up held together with faith and duct tape.

World famous author, explorer, and adventurer, WL Emery - will be there, driving his town and country car...

BW will go, of course!

You can bet your last dollar Jack will be there...

Where did fuggin Quartermain get a... a... ya know what? I don't want to know! Probly be full a jail bait tire biters and bimbos!!!

And of course Chicken Mom and Sunny will be there too!

So - what's the feature playing tonight...? Welp, this last week we had a ripper of a Retard Pooh Pool Party, I got emotionally triggered by gophers and had to do a time out in the cry closet. But - I've since regained a semblance of emotional stability now, so let us feature a film from another time, when people still knew how to joke and laugh - and some of the people in Hollywood poked fun at us rather than lectured us.

Look at the names. 
It'll be good to see some absent friends again too.

Friday, 18 May 2018

Awesome: The Langley Log

Well it looks like I won the internet! That pooh-flinging chick in Tim Hortons has rightfully become a Canadian celebrity, and has now become immortalized by her victims at Tims:

I want everyone to be extra careful in the days ahead.
There are sure to be some rude practical jokes as a result of all this,
and I can easily see guys substituting a Langley Log 
for a human one, HAR HAR HAR!
Hell, I might do it myself!
Hmmmm... who is on my shit list this week?
Only the usual suspects! Jack, Pete, Quartermain, BW....

And Neither Should You

We're learnin' all the kids right here at 
Uncle Bob's Institute for Wayward Boys N' Retards,
where we hope to serve as role models for liberals trying to improve

Errr... Has Anyone Seen BW?

I can't see him being made flat by boulders... but if he were to do it,
I can see him doing it in a place like this...  :)

Friday Cabin Porn

I'd need a shed for the man cave and vehicles, but otherwise that'd
do very nicely.