Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Wednesday, 6 June 2018

The Humpday Cigar

Remember these things...?

When I was a kid you could still buy these at a general store for a nickel a piece. The guy at the till could be a dirty slob, reach down and scratch his ass right in the crack before handing it to you - and we as kids cared not one whit! Chances are we'd already scratched our own butts before handing him the money for it. I remember they had gummy bears, nigger babies, worms, jew jubes and gawd knows what else. When I got older the seedier bars had big jars a pickled eggs on the counter and you were really rocking if they had pickled koobasaw too. I ate a metric tonne of those as a young man.

If a vendor tried to sell food like that today they'd get shut down on health violations. The hell of it is that a couple years ago, it was in the local rag sheet - The Edmonton Urinal - that a local ethnic Chinese market store had been shut down AGAIN on health code violations - and I was one of the biggest mouths running on about how ethnic Chinese are dirty people. And they are - but if they sold candy like this I'd be the first in line telling them to shut up and take my money! HAR HAR HAR!!! And I'd probably have to pick up extras for Quartermain, Jack and the other stupid kids too!

Welp - Wednesday is off to a fine start! Have yourselves a great Humpday and work safe out there.


  1. I remember boxes of cigars out on the counter at the general store, they came with little wires that held the lids open. I grew my own tobacco, aged it and then roll my own cigar if I want one. A few cents could buy just about anything like that, it was a different world for sure.

    1. I would love to smoke home grown tobacco, Sunny. It's too bad I quit 9 years ago... :(

  2. You eat that pickled cabbage for dinner and you'll not only spend the night on the couch, but you'll eat breakfast and probably lunch by yourself.

    Pickled eggs are the best. We used to be able to get pickled pig's feet. And the health codes and inspections were no where close to what we have today. How did we ever escape being poisoned? I don't remember anyone ever getting sick from it.

    We had rifle club in high school. We had Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts.

    Oh well. All gone now. Pardon me while I pour my mid-late-morning whiskey.