Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Thursday, 22 November 2018

Intellectual Constipation

Sometimes life hands me challenges and problems that leave me with the distinct impression that my Maker is trying to teach me a lesson and I am just too damned stupid to get it.

Several years back my millennial daughter decided that she was a queer social justice warrior and that the family would all go live under the rainbow or else. When I chose the 'or else' she ran away to join the circus and we never heard from her again. The only way I know she's still alive is by checking in on the various blogs and forums she's at. I pretty much gave up on that too, but still check in once in awhile - sue me, it's the father in me. I satisfy myself that she's alive, and surf away on to something else. I did that a little while ago - and saw something that has been stuck in my craw sideways ever since. She had posted a movie review written by some other angry menstrual rage head that she thought was the coolest thing since sliced bread.

"No guys, I need to stop and talk about something in this movie and how fucking revolutionary it was; something that I haven’t seen in a movie before or since.
This is a movie about a kid who leaves her birth family.
Not a kid who find that they have a secret lineage or something that allows them to find their ‘true family’ - this is a movie about a kid whose true birth family is made up of bad people. So she gets out. And that is played as the right thing to do. She isn’t punished for it or made to feel bad about ‘abandoning her family’. There isn’t an underlying ‘but they’re your family and you have to love them’ or ‘they’re your family and they love you even if they don’t show it well or do hurtful things’ message of the kind that I see OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER in media. Matilda gets out and lives happily ever after because of it.
We need a million more movies like this to counter the metric shit ton of movies that directly counter this message."

You always did love movies and stories, Spud. You must fancy yourself something of a 'Matilda', eh? I just can't - for the life of me - see how I can even begin to argue or debate a mindset like that. Your Mom and I are bad people? And your grandparents?

One day, I read something else that tied into this and it nearly blew my doors off. I've developed an honest respect for another blogger that thinks much along the same lines I do only he's a lot better at it. So I started going over my own life's hard times and bad decisions and what struck me was that none of my errors were fatal. Oh sure, I could have done any number of things better, but when I pooped the bed... I geared down, backed up, cleaned up the mess as best I could and moved on. Even my failures had some positive merit. Bad decisions are part of growing up and the process doesn't stop just because you turned 18 or 21.

And then I come to you, Spud. NOTHING I did as a parent was right. I let your idiot grandparents have a part in your upbringing and that was a huge mistake... but what could I do? You loved them and your Mom loved them. So they fed your monsters and demons over the years, and told you pretty lies that you loved to hear. "Oh - it's okay Little One! You can cop out, cut out, and flake out! We will always love you and support you! Your Dad is just being mean and nasty...! Nanny and Grampy will ALWAYS be here for you...!!!"

So yeah - I guess it's okay if you tear your families apart, leave them in ruins and walk away. If that pretty little lie helps you sleep at night - run with it and smile, I suppose. It's a sin, but when you took money from your doting grandparents for Christmas and your birthday and didn't so much as say thank you or send them an email - I just laughed. Thanks for that, by the way. Now they can stump themselves trying to figure you out. I wish them luck with that - regardless, you are one mistake I am never, ever going to make again, Matilda. You're 33 this year.

I can't fathom the ways of my Maker but - sometimes I wonder if He isn't trying to teach you a lesson?

Whatever - you'll have to sort that out yourselves, I guess.


  1. Glen - The reality is that an omnipotent God is working in everyone's lives. Some are just more aware of it than others.

    The unfortunate reality, for all of us, is that at some point our children move on in their own lives and make their own choices and regardless of how well we tried to set them on what we believed to be the correct course, they will choose their own. Watching your struggles has been thought provoking for me as I know that my own children see and believe differently than I do, no matter what I have done. At best I can hope that the bedrock that has been laid will be there when they need it.

    Keep in mind as well that always being surrounded by a chorus that only ever supports ever decision you make ultimately makes for a bad decision somewhere down the road - because those who support you without dissent will never tell you when you truly make a bad choice.

    If I could give you one piece of counsel, and I think it should be the most difficult piece of advice I could give, it would be to try to stop following her, even occasionally. I have had to do this with people that were in my own life that had fallen out but I still kept clinging on to the memory and the old thoughts of the relationship. It was the most difficult and yet most liberating thing I did (and yes, I had to go back and do it multiple times).

    Look to your future, friend - what you have here now and what you have in eternity. Do not look back - you are not going that way anymore.

    As always, thank you for the kind words.

    Your Obedient Servant, Toirdhealbheach Beucail

  2. Having no progeny of my own I can't imagine the grief it brings you to read what she wrote. That is harsh. I do however have experience with the flip side. As I said in this week's post my relationship with my own dad was never an easy one. He was the loonie NPR lib and I am most certainly not. There was always pressure when my choices were not his. I never seemed to measure up to dad's expectations. Even when I did things expressly as he's have wanted to just to please him. No amount of reasoning helped the situation. Sharing anything with the parental units, good or bad, just became a point of contention, that devolved in to fights and tears, so I learned it was best not to. I could not handle the the stress on myself nor on them. Things at one point got so bad I had to walk away and take care of my own life. Six years were lost. Or perhaps not? The separation made me realize it was not always my fault. Most times it was not. After a lot of anguish I found some level of contentment without his approval. It was not till April of 15 when dad came by to tell us he had terminal cancer that we were able to come back together and it was not easy. It was brutally painful. But imminent death has a way to change attitudes. Even with him now gone it is not easy with mom. I do what I have to because I promised dad I would look after mom and because Annie encourages me, but I have wanted to walk away so many times.

  3. Some situations reminds me of the Billy Idol song "Sweet Sixteen". Especially the verse, "Someone's built a Candy Brain to fill it in".
    That song makes me think of so many people that are hung up with the politics and nonsense of a manufactured world. That song is old...Therefore it is obvious that we are not experiencing anything new or out of the....Ordinary??? I guess it could be perceived as being a sad situation, but I'm gonna choose to be happy regardless of the oddities. I really enjoy your blog. You crack me up on the daily.

  4. Well thanks for the comments boys. Look, I know I am on the wrong side of this. But dammit - there is no right side. There's no compromise, there's no happy medium. I knew what TB was gonna say before he said it - it's what I'd say to him if our positions were reversed. He's absolutely right - I need to bury this corpse and leave it buried.

    Mike - I envy you. I am on the wrong side of all the progressive leftists in my family, none of whom have to pay the social consequences for the train wrecks they are creating. If I found out I had terminal cancer today, I'd buy some fine cigars, harass my retarded friends and the folks at the church as hard as I could, and cash out as quietly as possible. I don't think I'd even tell the kid, she has her hands full looking after herself. She's changed and I have too. I don't want to hector and badger her the way your folks did to you. I've had to do that all her life and I just can't be bothered anymore.

    Boyd, it looks like political bullshit, I know. A lot of it is. But it's more. It's morals, it's ethics, it's maturity... Awhile back a old friend I hadn't heard from in ages emailed me. Here youngest boy passed away in a family tragedy and he left with a hate-on for his father hotter than the heat of 1000 suns. She told me if I had a brain in my head, I'd patch things up before it's too late. I listen to this awful thing my daughter has turned into and … there is nothing to patch up...

    Bah. All this is a stupidly self inflicted flesh wound. Sorry if ya got any on ya's, fellas - and thanks again for stopping and sparing a word. There's not many I can talk to about this these days. Perhaps the rage head that wrote that movie review was right, and the family in the story got the better of it.

  5. I do not know I would argue you are on the wrong side of this Glen. Just because there are two sides does not make yours wrong.