Several years back my millennial daughter decided that she was a queer social justice warrior and that the family would all go live under the rainbow or else. When I chose the 'or else' she ran away to join the circus and we never heard from her again. The only way I know she's still alive is by checking in on the various blogs and forums she's at. I pretty much gave up on that too, but still check in once in awhile - sue me, it's the father in me. I satisfy myself that she's alive, and surf away on to something else. I did that a little while ago - and saw something that has been stuck in my craw sideways ever since. She had posted a movie review written by some other angry menstrual rage head that she thought was the coolest thing since sliced bread.
"No guys, I need to stop and talk about something in this movie and how fucking revolutionary it was; something that I haven’t seen in a movie before or since.
This is a movie about a kid who leaves her birth family.
Not a kid who find that they have a secret lineage or something that allows them to find their ‘true family’ - this is a movie about a kid whose true birth family is made up of bad people. So she gets out. And that is played as the right thing to do. She isn’t punished for it or made to feel bad about ‘abandoning her family’. There isn’t an underlying ‘but they’re your family and you have to love them’ or ‘they’re your family and they love you even if they don’t show it well or do hurtful things’ message of the kind that I see OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER in media. Matilda gets out and lives happily ever after because of it.
We need a million more movies like this to counter the metric shit ton of movies that directly counter this message."
You always did love movies and stories, Spud. You must fancy yourself something of a 'Matilda', eh? I just can't - for the life of me - see how I can even begin to argue or debate a mindset like that. Your Mom and I are bad people? And your grandparents?
One day, I read something else that tied into this and it nearly blew my doors off. I've developed an honest respect for another blogger that thinks much along the same lines I do only he's a lot better at it. So I started going over my own life's hard times and bad decisions and what struck me was that none of my errors were fatal. Oh sure, I could have done any number of things better, but when I pooped the bed... I geared down, backed up, cleaned up the mess as best I could and moved on. Even my failures had some positive merit. Bad decisions are part of growing up and the process doesn't stop just because you turned 18 or 21.
And then I come to you, Spud. NOTHING I did as a parent was right. I let your idiot grandparents have a part in your upbringing and that was a huge mistake... but what could I do? You loved them and your Mom loved them. So they fed your monsters and demons over the years, and told you pretty lies that you loved to hear. "Oh - it's okay Little One! You can cop out, cut out, and flake out! We will always love you and support you! Your Dad is just being mean and nasty...! Nanny and Grampy will ALWAYS be here for you...!!!"
So yeah - I guess it's okay if you tear your families apart, leave them in ruins and walk away. If that pretty little lie helps you sleep at night - run with it and smile, I suppose. It's a sin, but when you took money from your doting grandparents for Christmas and your birthday and didn't so much as say thank you or send them an email - I just laughed. Thanks for that, by the way. Now they can stump themselves trying to figure you out. I wish them luck with that - regardless, you are one mistake I am never, ever going to make again, Matilda. You're 33 this year.
I can't fathom the ways of my Maker but - sometimes I wonder if He isn't trying to teach you a lesson?
Whatever - you'll have to sort that out yourselves, I guess.