First of all, I want to take back all the rotten things I've ever said about you. I promise never to say such things again, or make any more rude jokes at your expense. Let us bury the hatchet, as they say.
Now that we are friends again, can I please borrow $1500.00? I am down at the Aaaaaadmontin Remand Centre, looking at 30 days in jail unless I can make bail.
It was all a misunderstanding, of course. I will explain everything
when you get down here.