Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Sunday, 17 February 2019

Boiling With RAGE

Oh hi everyone!

Well I am so damned mad, I could friggin spit!!! M and the other mean kids circled round me and my buddy here, and started making fun of me and my stove, and made all kinds of hurtful, hateful comments. Even the innernet's most fearsome survivor - Harold - piled on!!! Sob!

So me and my buddy PJ called them a bunch of Iso-Butane-O-Phobes... and flounced out in a snit! That'll learn those a-holes!!! How jealous the other pervs will be about the new sexuality we invented! HAR HAR HAR!

So we piled into PJ's Prius and decided to go decompress in a safe place like MEC - where toxic masculinity isn't tolerated, and the clientele are more nurturing and inclusive.

On the way down, probly headed to the same store- we wound up behind car festooned with pagan bumper stickers like this! I chit you not!!! There was an unearthly aura around the car, and an ungodly stench in the Prius - and then a gap unfolded in the space time continuum in front of the pagan - and the car was gone. PJ asked me if we should maybe smoke a fattie to calm our nerves and I seriously considered it.

Rather than push my luck with PJ and evil spirits I decided to go home and try the Fwench Press gizmo on my Jet Boil. Long story short - the Jet Boil boils water like a son of a gun! FAST! The problem is that it is built to burn like a rocket ship - and throttling it for the rolling boil ya need for coffee - is pretty damn tough. I ended up making a helluva mess with hot water and boiled over coffee grounds everyewhere.

The coffee press cannot be recommended.
Don't waste your money.

I am going to have to pronounce a firm 'Thumbs Down' on the Fwench Press Coffee gadget. They're only 15 bucks so I didn't get ripped off too bad. For now, coffee - for me -means boiling the water and throwing in those coffee bags. Looks like the mean kids are right about this one after all, maybe. Oh well - nobody's perfect.

In other news, the cold snap has given me a break today so I am going to take advantage. My new heroes, Esme and Michael cut it a little close last week, heading out in -30C to do what they do.

Back in my heyday I could do -30C and lower but I had all the gear, it was all top notch, and I knew how to use it. You DO NOT want to be messing around with new gear and toys at those temperatures, and he's damned lucky Esme didn't get frostbite. In those temps you need a balaclava, mitts and the works. Camping below -25C stops being less about fun and starts being about staying warm. The vehicles and animals get cranky and unreliable too.

Have yourselves a great Sunday and hopefully you are catching a break in the crappy weather too.



  1. Hey! That was me in my vehicle with all the bumper stickers!!!

    1. I knew it. This ferret just appeared on the kitchen counter, grabbed my cookie, gave me the finger and disappeared! Do your familiars eat the cookies themselves, or bring them to you, Harry?


  2. There you go that's what you get for patronizing that oil-of petunia-patchouli-perfume-hairy-armpit emporium. I told you that poofy froggy coffee press was a POS.
    I shit you not.... get yourself one of these.
    It's the cuban grannie's secret to perfect coffee. Works every time. Fill it with French roast arabica, the stuff in the purple bag at wallmart, and you'll never look back.
    As for iso-butane, try 40 miles in to a 70 mile Febuary traverse of Baxter State park at 30 below and the stove fails to light, F'ing right you are going to huck that useless POS as far as you can.

  3. OH yea, I forgot to mention, Michael and Esme's secret is that she crawls in to the bottom of the fart-bag and keeps him warm all night. Buy a big square bag with lots of foot room. Those gawdawful mummy bags are good for long dead Egyptians only.

  4. I repent of my iso-butyl crimes against the sportsmen, M - and throw myself on the mercy of the court! After I get through with the years reloading and my art n' crafts with the survival knife - I am going to need your assistance and blessing when I bring back my 30 year old Coleman stove from the grave. Fact is, I want to do a total rebuild.

    But... the fact is that at -30C and below even the Coleman will have problems. It will take forever to warm up and start running right - or at least, the stoves that I worked with did.

    I agree with your opinion on fart sacks up to about -20C. Below that, I gotta have a mummy and even then I'd throw a blanket over top of that. Michael and Esme would have been much further ahead in the morning had they done so. Square bags are drafty and at those temps, those drafts can be damned nasty. I personally would have left Esme at home for that one and dispensed with the hot tent. I'd also go to a balaclava too, and wrap up so only my eyes could see and that's it.

    But again, that is just my experience. I hate mummies because now I do that old fart thing where I gotta get up and pee 12 times a night and I still manage to poop the bed in the morning somehow, HAR HAR HAR!

  5. I will admit the cartridge stoves are quick and clean for the right circumstance, strictly above freezing. As you saw I actually own a couple of them. The problem is fuel in them does depend on ambient temperature to atomize and exit the canister in order to burn. At 30 below that just don't happen. You can open the valve on them and they will not flow. So you stick the canister in your pants in hopes you can warm it up a bit with body heat. But in about five minutes time you find the family jewels are frozen solid , rendering forever sterile and when you then try to extract said canister from what once was a cozy realm, it now draws with it the now frozen fuzzy hide that was once the cover on you nut sack.
    The most reliable stove in minus temps are the Primus /Optimus liquid fuel type that require the use of either alcohol or stove fuel to preheat the burner and generator. Admittedly just past the half century mark , I have smartened up and have been cured of the misguided concept that masochistic outdoor winter adventures are fun.