Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Friday, 8 February 2019

Friday Filthie Folly: Test Ya Mettle, Men

Oh dear gawd…. I'm not gona make it!!!   HURK! HURK! HURK!!!! BLAAAAAUUUUUGHGHGHGHGHGHHLLLL!!!!

Good grief! Quartermain is eatin' the jerky!!! I'm gonna hurl again!!!

Welp - I guess I am a pussy because I can't eat shit like that! Quartermain though, has the guts of a billy goat and can eat everything right up to and including tin cans!

They were selling this crud at the camping store where I bought my fabulous Jet Boil camp stove. MEC (otherwise known as the Mountain Equipment Co Op) is popular with the queers, envirotards, greasy hippies, and outdoor poseurs real outdoorsmen like me. Back before their faggotification as a corporation, they used to sell lightweight freeze dried meals-in-a-packet that were just the ticket for the back packer. Ya add water, heat them up and eat! Some of them were mighty fine eatin too! But now that the wanks have moved into the market... well ya get stuff like vegetarian beef jerky (ulp!), pumpkin soup, GAH! I can't go on! Once my stomach settles down I will go in and pick a few of the safe ones up. I'll let ya know what I find.

In the meantime the Friday Challenge has left me rather ill, and M n' Jack are positively catatonic. I think they have PTSD again. Oh well, some bacon, eggs, Tide Pods and a pint of good bourbon will straighten us all out!

Have a great Friday, y'all!


  1. Main Lady: How would you like to try some pumpkin soup?

    Mad Jack: Sure...


    Main Lady: Well? Do you like it?

    MJ: Oh yeah, it's real good. A bit bland, maybe, but good enough. Chase it with a ham sandwich and a bloody mary, and I could really get to enjoy it.

    A few hours later I discovered that whatever the hell it was that those hens put in that soup threw my digestive tract into a system overload that turned into a pseudo overload and a major malfunction. Drugs didn't help.

    I have a cast iron stomach. It'll handle anything - except pumpkin soup.

    I farted for three days.

  2. Now you know better than tho be perusing those faggy boutiques like EMS and REI. It's the same snooty-stuck-up-sanctimonious holier-that-thou crowd that shops at Whole Foods and Trader Joes and Starfucks. You know every one of them there is enamored with the Hildabeast and would crucify you in a NY second if they knew the were made aware of your true inclinations. Shit I get the hibie-jiebies every time I drive past one of those places and see the looks on the folks that shop there.
    Glenn ol-buddy, these days you can get all you need at Wallyworld. That's where us poo-white-trailer-trash guys shop for camping gear. Yea, the shit they sell is all made in commie china, but so is the crap at EMS and REI, only they mark it up like 500% and pretend they are saving the planet or some such horseshit, so the gear queers with the patchouli perfume and dreadlocks get all horny about it.