Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Tuesday, 19 February 2019

Gear Queer PRIDE

It's come to my attention that a couple of sniggering wretches have been saying rotten things about me and calling me a 'gear queer' behind my back. They're damned lucky I don't go postal on their sorry asses with my endless assortment of multitools, flashlights and weapons!!!

But the hell of that is that it's true! If I could I'd walk around strapped with hand grenades and rocket launchers at work and at home and to formal occasions of every sort. If Pete was having troubles getting the BBQ going I'd light 'er up with napalm. If the stereo on the patio was too loud, I'd turn it down with an HK MP7! Oh man - and electronics... I'd love one a those back packs with the big antenna on it, and the phone that ya gotta crank to raise anyone with. I'd start yammering on it like a pro too. "Borepatch One this Filthie Two: Argle Bargle! Flipper off!!! Over and out!" I'd look oh-so-cool as everyone tried to figure out what I was saying, HAR HAR HAR! I could mouth off about creeps like Jack and Quartermain and wouldn't have to worry about getting pounded for my ropey mouth.

But life intervenes.

So naturally my degeneracy got the better of me as I consider all the duffels and bags I am gonna need to store my camping stuff in The Dawgmobile.  My intent is that if I decide to peel out on a Friday after school - all my stuff is in the truck and ready to rip, with no more than a few items that could be added in 15 minutes or less.

Sweet! I'd look just like a Marine with a couple of those in the back!

The problem with that is this - just the look of those bags will tell the dirtballs and fur bags that something cool is in them. One of the other gunnies - I think it might have been du Toit - reported that one of his buddies had had his truck broken into and a rifle and some costly equipment stolen. There was a picture of the truck - sparkling like a gem. It was a jacked 4x4 built for high altitude, low opening (HALO) if ya catch my drift. I'm an otherwise law abiding citizen and even I got jealous looking at it.

I am going to go non-descript with mine, I think. I am going to buy cheap duffels that look like they might be full of smelly hockey pads and skates, maybe. I might even go so far as to buy a jock strap and artificially stain it - and leave it prominently displayed on them so that thieves would look at it and cringe.

There's a time and a place to play the roles - and another to be low key and stay below the radar.

1 comment:

  1. I see you are finally catching on. Its all about blending in to your environment. When Wallyworld is your outfitter you don't stand out from the rest of the freaks and weirdos on the block. And if your crap does grow legs you are not out a whole ton of dough.