I knew I was dead the second I walked into church yesterday. They have this odd kid that seriously runs around with a bible under his arm. It is flagged, tagged annotated front to back and back again, and he was going to try his hand at preachin' and speachin! The poor bugger bombed. I just about got struck by lightening stifling my laughter when he went off about gender roles in modern society and yammering about Jezebel. (I dunno who she is yet - but I will find out eventually). Getting lectured on such a subject by such a youngster left me bemused.
But he got up there, he tried, and that's what counts. Other than the odd sporadic church groups flying under the radar there are no groups left to teach boys how to become men. Can you imagine being his age and trying to figure out what's going on in women's minds these days? He did come up with a turn of phrase that I really liked though: "When the devil attacks the family, he goes after the women first." Had I been fast enough I woulda given him an 'amen' and a high five on that, HAR HAR HAR!!! He is absolutely right on that. Think about the political arena right now. It's really bad in the US what with Stretch Pelosi and Hillary! Those two menopausal hags should be in a cage somewhere. Then there's Donkey Choppers, that fake indian bint, and that recent towel head from Somalia - where women are treated like property - and she goes off on the Joos! HAR HAR HAR! If the devil doesn't have a hand in those women - then they are friggin nuts and no bones about it!!! Up here in Canada, Turdo La Doo is getting his arse kicked and set on fire by all the 'strong, empowered independent wymin' he bumped into leadership roles. They are all chubsters and land whales with double-barrelled names too! HAR HAR HAR HAR!!! Gawd, what a schmoz… I wish that boy all the luck in the world as he tries to grow up. But it doesn't look good; Turdo La Doo is twice his age, he snuggled right up to the feminist movement... and now those angry vaginas are taking him to the cleaners. Serves him right too.
I managed to sneak in a chat before things got rolling with Old Ed. I love Ed and Phyllis, they're in their 80's and they get a little eccentric the way delightful old folks do. "Hey Glen - did I tell you that my cousin Ted just died? He was 95!" So I made the usual noises of condolence but he would have none of it! "Ol' Ted was in his chair reading and then somebody noticed he'd turned white as a sheet - and he was gone!" Ed gloated with a smile. So I said, maybe that isn't such a bad way to go...? And then Ed started bragging about how he has had three of these mini-strokes (I can't remember the medical term for it) - and he'd had one just this week! The way he described it, he could kick off any second and he was happier than a pig in the mud about it! It was the damndest conversation I'd had in a coon's age. I will miss him when he goes, he made me feel welcome at that church when my wife dragged me in kicking and screaming over a year ago. He proved in spades that these Christians weren't all a bunch of hypocrites, pedos and shysters. I like Ed's approach to the end and if I can I will adopt it myself.