Hoy! It’s jist gats tah be Ahstrallya dinnit?
As everyone knows I'm an academic with a flair for languages and can read and write in several fluently: Texan, Albertan, Bungholian, Bohunk with a smattering Chinglish and some of the more common mudflap dialects.
When I first heard the term 'hooning' I thought that maybe Quartermain had escaped to either Austrailia or New Zealand (I'm told there's a difference between the two) - and that he was up to his old tricks of pulling down his pants and making the girls giggle and the guys furious.
Apparently, hooning is the act of driving unsafely and irresponsibly - and they actually charge people for it as if it were a regular crime. Up here in Canada we accept it as a fact of life. You can't expect safety and responsibility from stubble jumping dirt farmers, senile stubfarts, cross eyed nine irons, hare lipped mudflaps and other vibrant and diverse drivers, HAR HAR HAR!!!
I remember a recent article about a year back in The Glob And Snail. Some exotic weirdo from over the rainbow was writing about a horrific crash on the 401 highway in Morontario. Apparently a whole car full of vibrant immigrants had been killed in the mishap, and we were all supposed to mourn the cultural loss and feel really really bad. But … the comments filled up with applause and hateful hilarity and cheerfulness, HAR HAR HAR! Comments were all like "What kind of vibrants were they? I hope they were black/yellow/brown/red/etc..." or "Gosh!!! I hope there were no empty seats...". The SJWs at the Glob started by deleting every third comment, then every second, and finally they deleted all the comments on the article. Even I go banned! HAR HAR HAR!!! There's another red flag for you, Filthie!!! Doh!!!
So the next time you're driving like a wanker down under, and some flithermedigit cuts you off in traffic, the proper question for the locals is, "Oy!!! Where'd yi lahn tih drive, yah fuggin hooner!?!?".
Dunno which side of the road they drive on Down Under - if ya figger it out be sure to let us know!
Have a great Monday! As for me - the summer is drawing rapidly to a close, and I am searching for work again. Wish me luck.