Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Sunday, 1 September 2019

Accidental Discharge At The Thunderbox

Mornin' all.

Don't say it, I know - I look like chit warmed over... it's this buggardly flu that the wife got. This one has been an absolute bugger from start to finish. I've bben breaking the fever with Tylenol but at night I get it in spades. Fever driven demons come bubbling out of my subconscious to torment me with ridiculously malevolent dreams. It's like I have my own private connection with hell. Then at night I try to cough up my lungs all night. I've been sleeping in my chair in the TV room to try and give the wife a break but I am sure she can hear me coughing and hacking.

I thought I was coming out of it when I got an eye infection - I won't gross ya out with the details of that. Then a couple days of that little misery. The coupe de grace came this morning. I was blissfully, finally sound asleep in my chair when my windpipe closed off and a coughing fit started. I guess I got to enthusiastic with my coughing … and shat the bed a bit. Way to go Filthie! 55 years old an ya STILL shit the bed!!! Good lord.

On the good side, I blew through the 20 pound weight loss goal I'd set for myself. Pretty easy to do when you stop eating I suppose... After last night's wild ride I got a craving for some green tea. And Lo and Behold... the wife actually has a small stash. I am drinking it out of those tiny traditional Japanese teacups - my daughter had bought me a set ages ago. I hope she's alright.

It's 6:00 in the morn, and while the water boiled for the tea I threw the mutts out for their business. Mort went barking off into the fog after phantoms and ghosts. The trees are still mostly green but a few are changing colour now. What a horrible time to be down with the plague. I am going to cut church today and sneak a load of laundry in while the wife is at the services. I will kill this bug yet!

Don't anyone tell Quartermain or Pete about my accidental discharge last night - they're both assholes and all they'll do is laugh and make rude jokes at my expense! 😆 Try and take a moment today, if ya can, to stop and smell the flowers and thank your Maker for the opportunity to do so.

Oops... sorry for the ramble. Thanks for dropping by - and have yourself a great Sunday.


  1. You might give your missives a final read and evaluate the overall content prior to publication. For example, writing about accidental incontinence is one thing, while concluding with a cliché about pausing to smell the flowers (roses) conjures an image most of us would rather avoid.

    All that aside, this sounds remarkably similar to the maladies I've been suffering of late. Eye infection, common cold that morphs into a severe lung infection, having to sleep sitting up - coupled with a loss of weight and energy.

    I, too, got the urge for tea instead of my usual.

    Robitussin for the cough, and NyQuil chased with a shot of Black Velvet an hour before you'd like to pass out seemed to have worked well for me. Pepto-Bismal cures the digestive tract.

    Sorry you're sick.

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