Why Older White Men Should Start Second Families
My family imploded about four or five years ago. It wasn't a divorce - but easily could have been, had I married a lesser woman and the chips had fallen a different way. It was the usual shit that goes along with a dysfunctional family and this beshitted culture war. About the only thing unusual was that my marriage survived and actually became stronger, and I didn't get raped in divorce court - which is what the shitlibs in my family had in mind for me. I think my wife didn't fancy becoming a saggy old cougar that drank chardonnay by the box, or a bitter single cat lady either. Unlike the poseurs today, my wife was always a strong and intensely practical woman.
HAR HAR HAR! I can't remember where we were. Might have been in traffic, might have been out camping. I said to my wife, outta the blue "We should have another kid. They're fun to make, they're expendable, and the last one we had was a complete write-off..." I said. I think I was as stunned as my wife at the utter novelty and stupidity of the concept. Of course, we are too old, and to be honest, after the last one.... no. Just... no. I think we both wanted to rinse our brains out with bleach after I did that!
But for some perverted reason the idea got traction in my subconscious. I think about it. I see a kid raised right, away from my own pozzed inlaws and family. He'd grow up right. He'd know his way around a bible and even if he didn't believe, that'd by alright because he'd be able to see the wisdom and practical values in it, if nothing else. In time, he'd marry a good solid woman of his own, like his mother. He'd have kids of his own. Camping. Hunting, fishing... I'd have somebody to hand my guns off to before I kick off. My wife would have little ones to do arts n' crafts with and she could be a grandmother.
Then reality hits with the jarring impact of a rolling pin or fry pan across the noggin. It's a dream, is all it is. The problems of the past will have to stay there, as they won't be answered or resolved in this world.
Maybe in the next life.
Mentor/be a grandparent to the kids/kid at church. Start an archery club. Their parents have to be involved; you aren't a babysitting service and the whole legal ramification of 'he touched me' don't come up either.ReplyDelete
The reality is... you can be the best parent in the world... and end up with the worst kid in the world...ReplyDelete
All you can do is your best.
Do what my brother did; adopt. Old Shotgun Bob and The Girl started taking in foster kids and went through four or five before they found a keeper. The rest got tossed back into the State pond, and for good reason.ReplyDelete
If you decide to go that route, be sure to ask plenty of hard questions before you take a child or children into your home. For instance, there was a girl (12) and two younger brothers available. The Girl was all for it, but Shotgun Bob started asking questions. Turns out that the three of them were waiting until everyone was asleep, then having a swinger's party in the boys bedroom. The girl was the aggressor. Go figure that one out.
Yup, ask a LOT of questions. As former foster parents who adopted a sibling group, take all the classes offered and insist on counseling/coaching from a professional as one of the conditions for taking any child. You and the child/ren are going to need it, which is where some of the advice in my comment above comes from.Delete