Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Sunday, 15 December 2019

Things That Go PBBBBFFBTBBFFFT!!! In The Night

Dear gawd - am I ever getting old and fussy!!!😑😑😑

The other day my knee decided to swell up and start aching like the devil! I don’t think I fell or slipped or otherwise stressed in any way either. The skin on it is blazing hot and swollen and I can get around if I hobble. I was sound asleep a few minutes ago when the wife farted in her sleep and rolled over and bumped it - and I shat myself in agony and hit the ceiling!

I scrabbled into the TV room and fell into my recliner...and figured I was good. I got snacks, and the wife got some frozen peas, wrapped them in a towel and put them on my beshitted knee... but now I’m trapped!!! I can’t get up without that thing tormenting me with searing waves of pain! And now I gotta pee.

Ordinarily I’d try to walk it off... but that might be making things worse. If I am not heard from in the next 12 hours... please send one a the retards emissaries from heaven over with a bed pan, a cane, and a great big bag of medical marijuana...

Jeez Louise... this “getting old” thing sucks!😑

5 comments:

  1. Oh ! Do I ever hear ya bud !!! ... Hope the swelling goes down toot d'sewage !!! ...

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  2. Sounds like Gout. There are pills to alleviate that. Call the doc.

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  3. Thanks for stopping in WM!!!

    It's gotta be something like that, M. The pain and swelling are starting to subside so I can at least hobble and get the dawgs out...

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  4. you need to get to the doc soon don't leave it untreated and get you a knee brace for
    when the swelling goes down

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  5. If it is gout, I'm an expert at the treatment. I get it in the joint of my big toe.

    1. Go on the wagon. No alcohol of any kind.
    2. Increase your water intake - pretend it's beer and you're thirsty.
    3. Take an anti-inflammatory.
    4. Elevate your afflicted appendage.
    5. Add a baggie of ice-water to said appendage, keeping it on five minutes and off five minutes.
    6. Most importantly, see your favorite witch doctor ASAP. He'll give you some pills. Follow directions when taking the pills.

    You should pull out within 3 to 5 days. If you don't, call the sawbones back, because it's something else.

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