Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Saturday, 29 February 2020

To The Moon

Yannow when I look around at all the sexual degeneracy going on, it’s usually women driving it. Ya can’t argue with them about it either, they think with their feelings. If their hearts tell them something is right, it damn well IS right, and screw you if you say or think otherwise. Even women that know better will go along with it because their hearts trump their brains - and all the popular girls are doing it! So there!!!๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ–•

The only time I’ve seen them look dubiously or doubtfully at this sexual ass hattery is when the trannies start showing up in athletics. There was one awhile back where some tranny beat all the girls in some UFC type thing and came in first... and all the gals looked like they’d swallowed a turd. It’s become worse now too, happens all the time in other events. Women who’ve devoted their lives to getting a medal get robbed by a degenerate in drag.

I know I should feel sorry for the parties involved but all I can do is laugh like a loon. You won the war of the sexes, Chickie. But God, Darwin and Murphy are going to have the last word.

Friday, 28 February 2020


I gotta preface this with the usual weasel words. I am not a carpenter or a skilled tradesman. You can accuse me of not knowing what I’m talking about, and you’d be correct. But some of what I’m seeing  at my casual retail job in a wood shop has me wondering about the pros.

That’s a $1200.00 track saw. It’s just a circular saw, made to run on an aluminum track for high precision cuts. They sell like hot cakes.

For long precision cuts, all I ever did was clamp an especially straight piece of wood to the work, and use it as a fence or guide to run the saw against. Unless I’m missing something it does the same job, but only takes a little extra measurement and math. From what little woodwork I’ve done, setting up jigs and guides was part and parcel of it.

We have a flea market in our shop for the addicts customers where we’ll take their old used tools and sell them, and once they have the cash they will buy new ones from us. It’s the damnedest thing... we can’t give radial arm saws away anymore.

My dad has one of these and can go to the moon on it. It’s a wonderful, useful tool. But apparently the cool kids are all using mitre saws now... and paying top dollar for them.

Sure, the mitre is more compact and portable... but is it worth taking the financial hit to sell your old radial, and another to buy the mitre? If I were a kid starting out again I’d buy all my tools used.

Thursday, 27 February 2020

Drones Are So Impersonal

๐ŸŽตSwing low, sweet garbage truuuuuuuck... Comin’
For to carry you hooooooome!!!๐ŸŽถ

Ululate while you can, mudflaps!

Being an expert aviator and crack crapcopter pilot I know everything there is to know about high tech fighter planes!!!

Were it up to me I’d scrap any new fighter development and put all my R&D eggs into cruise missile and anti missile and smart munitions. The cost of the plane is bad enough... but with all the training the pilot is worth even more. Why risk them on human trash like this?

You’re A Winner Either Way!

Stupid Cat Friday

I admit it. I am a cat person. Most of all I enjoy beating and torturing them. All my cats got picked up by their tails unless they were very old. I probably lost more blood fighting my cats than your average combat a Marine! Regular torture consists of putting a smelly used sock over their heads... but mine figured that one out right away. Then I started putting clothes pins on their tails but they figured that one out too. My magnum opus as a Grand Cat Torturer came when I discovered that a little piece of tape on their rear foot could cause all kinds of entertaining three legged kiniptions!!! HAR HAR HAR!!! HAR HAR HAR!!! Somehow, between the blood letting sand feline psyops ... we still managed to find a way to love each other. Lord, how I miss them even after all these years.

Quantum physics are a friggin crock a beans.
It figures that bloody cat would be in there like a dirty shirt!!!

If my cats had chain mail I’d be dead!!!

That happens to me when I get constipated too...
Poor kitty

Don’t chinamen eat cats?

Filthie And The Wolf

Will you guys please just STFU!!! Be a sport and FOAD too, will ya? You know who I’m talking to!!


30 years ago we were all gonna die because meteors and galactic debris would crash into the earth. It was warble gloaming before that, warble ice age before that. Passing fads were stuff like acid rain, disappearing ozone layers, nuclear Armageddon, Ebola and now we have Corona Virus. No doubt it will be dispersed by a goat-humping moslem flying a hobby drone with a vial clutched in its candy-dropper. People are just getting more and more hysterical.

I love this tune and it sums up my feelings exactly. Cripes... even some a the folk at church are talking about the end times. For the atheists... you live on an insignificant rock orbiting a non-descript   star in an average galaxy in a sea of them that number as the grains of sand on the beaches. Life doesn’t mean anything to you anyways!!! For Christians... the end is going to come, says so in yer scriptures. Most of us are mature enough to know we are going to die some day. Lighten the hell up. A better version of The End Of The World song is the one below. Language warning!!!

Join me and my good buddy Aesop as we sing, “It’s Every Cussword We Know”... and have a great Thursday.

Look at these freaks. I wonder if the evangelicals are right? Maybe corona virus
struck first in China because of all the terrible things chinks do to
animals and each other? I mean...jeez: “bat soup”???
They are dirty, shifty, untrustworthy thieves... and the rest of us aren’t 
much better these days.

Keep yer medicinals handy, keep your head while others
are losing theirs... and ya just might pull

WL Emery Publishes His Memoires...Again...

I wonder if this unfortunate 
incident had anything to do with that ammunition I reloaded
for him...?

I put extra gun powder in and had to lean a little
hard on the press.

Wednesday, 26 February 2020

From Our Turbaned Friends In The RCMP

Ya know what they say about the RCMP: they always get their man woman cis-gendered
Gender fluid non binary...

When the revolution comes I am going to put these people to the sword. What, pray tell, do diversity police do?

Yannow what? I don’t want know.

Heart Breaking

I saw this one up at CW's.

I try to avoid Canadian politics because they make me crazy. I stopped considering myself a Canadian years ago. I am Albertan, and sadly, those are two very different things in today's Canada. It is everything I can do not to start spitting and gobbing in rage as I watch this. The woman is not lying - I see it on the job boards. There's nothing on them. The foreclosures are going to start soon, if they haven't already. Young people have no future here. But out east, all that matters is that Prime Minister Pink Socks looks good for the cameras as he lets himself be scolded by a 16 year old Greta Thunberg as he virtue signals his purity to the environmentalists - by throwing Alberta under the bus. That balding fag that stood up to say that thousands of jobs were created by the liberals in Alberta is the stuff of treason. We are on the ropes out here in Alberta... and Mr. Speaker scolds the lady for being uncivil. So it goes in The Imperial Capital. This is what constitutes leadership to socialists.

I get the frustration and anger this lady feels... but Alberta needs to grow some balls, step up and address this. Our relationship with Canada and it's idiot prime minister is completely adversarial, there is nothing good in it for us, and it is time to seriously consider ending it.

I see stuff like this and I know that it is inevitable. Anyone that puts this much thought and effort into an aerodynamic abortion like this - is demented enough to build bipedal terminator robots, or those other giant ones with rocket launchers on the shoulders and chain guns on the arms.

I fear and loathe rotorcraft so given my druthers, I’d rather take my chances with the robots.

Thunderbox Reading Material

When I was a boy my dad smoked a pack and a half of cigarettes a day. And when he went into the crapper with a newspaper, an ash tray and a pack a KNEW crimes against humanity loomed. Since my bedroom was closest to the crapper, I was vulnerable to biological exposure to deadly inert gases and vapours that the fan couldn’t catch... and they inevitably seeped out under the door. I didn’t screw around... I’d close the door to my bedroom and rip the bed spread off... and stuff as much of it under my door to keep the stench out!

It didn’t matter how long I waited before venturing out either, that malodorous vapour would wait for me like some kind of sentient predator. I remember laughing at Captain Kirk and those fags in the red shirts when they got attacked by a vapour monster on Rigel 7. Pop could take out the entire crew of  the USS Enterprise with cloying fetid emissions he produced. In space... nobody can hear you scream, nor will they hear you fart.

But times change, and now it is my turn to ascend to the throne... and I will assume my place on it as my father did before me... but at least there won’t be any stale cigarette smoke mixed in it.๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ

I intend to take my ease with the best reading materials as he did too! Unfortunately news print has gone the way of the Buffalo. Some things change over time... and some do not.

That’s more like it! I ask you: is there nothing more restful
than when mind and bowel are at ease?
Be a sport and hit the fan for me? I forgot in my haste... and I’m
going to be in here awhile.
Have a great Humpday everyone!!!

Tuesday, 25 February 2020

Thwarting Darwin: Jackhole Morons

My old buddy Aesop is at it again. The guy hates my guts. I think part of it is that I’m smarter than he is (I gotta IQ of 23, dontchya know). Another part of it may have something to do with all those flaming bags of dog pooh I keep leaving on his doorstep at night. It’s a laff riot when he comes out to answer the door in his bath robe and crocs - and ends up stamping and cursing and shouting into the night! HAR HAR HAR!๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ‘

It’s too bad he banned me from his blog because it spoiled all my fun! Oh well... But... if this is your idea of survival prep... you got a date with Darwin and Murphy yourself!

You’d find this crap in a picnic hamper!

If you want to take survival prep seriously, ya wanna go to the guys that know something about it - not some big city geriatric with anger management issues, burnt pooh on his crocs, and no self awareness.

You’re going to need a pack. Paracord, twine, tarp, containers, multiple means of combustion, etc etc.

This is an absolute minimum survival set up.
If you want to take this stuff seriously I’d suggest you
start by looking up “The Ten C’s Of Survivability”.
Corporal Kelly of Corporal’s Corner on OyTube is also
worth your time.

There’s a few skills involved with this, and they are fun and easy to acquire. Read the articles, take some time to get off the beaten path and apply what you learn. Involve the kids too, they will have a hoot.

With the temps gradually warming... I’m feeling the need for a campfire right now something fierce!!

See ya out there.

Monday, 24 February 2020


So it’s 3:30 AM and I am cruising the slums and sewers of the Internet for entertainment and I came across this especially rotten real-life vid about a guy that built a peroxide rocket in his backyard for $18,000.  They haul it out into the desert, the guy climbs in, and Mission Control starts to count down.

Blast off!

At about T Minus 4 seconds, the recovery shoot deployed and ripped away on the way up. But other than that it was a beauty of a launch. The thing goes up to about a thousand feet... and then comes straight down. There was no reserve chute. The whole thing was right out of one of those old Road Runner/Coyote cartoons - the rocket spudded into the earth with a comical little poof of dust. The guy had about a good ten seconds in that can to think about what he was gonna tell Darwin and Murphy when he met them.

Suppose I coulda linked to the vid... but I despise the ‘fail’ vids where people get hurt and it’s supposed to be funny. But... something like that DOES put whatever Monday you are having in perspective doesn’t it?

Monday Meme Dump

Sunday, 23 February 2020

Off To Church

Sunday Mish-Mash

It’s been an odd week for me. I started a new job. I work at a retailer for woodworking tools and just finished my first week. I’m cautiously optimistic. The wages are horrible, but in our recession economy you take what you can get. My coworkers are crabby old white men like me which is a plus... because there is no stress. My last job featured all the benefits of a vibrant and diverse workplace. Our manageress was a young lady with face jewellery and neck tats who was a 30 year old spoiled brat. My outside sales guy was a pooch-screwing chit skinned packie who spent more time on OyTube and Bookface than doing his job... and I busted my hump covering for them because the customers didn’t like them either, and came to me instead. I was always swamped and 5 miles behind and when I quit, I couldn’t even catch a lunch or a coffee break. I’m too old for that crap.
The guys I work with now take pride in their work, they think ahead and work smart. Or so it seems. Most of the customers are better too. Maybe I think so because for the most part... they are old farts too.

It’s a new experience in that the money these guys have just blows me away. My boss is a retired cop. He literally inherited millions from his parents. His wife is a big shot bank exec. He works in the shop with me for 18.00 an hour because when he retired, he couldn’t stand being around his wife all day! During a coffee break he showed me the 52 ft. Catamaran cabin cruiser he’s kinda-sorta  considering. I was tempted to ask how he expected to live in tight quarters with his wife on a 52 foot boat when they couldn’t do it in a 3200 sq ft home, but I kept quiet. Half the customers are millionaires too.

Working with seniors isn’t nearly as challenging as it is with millennials. There was a wood turning class on yesterday and all the students were oldsters that sat around doing more blabbing than wood turning. My instincts are to help seniors with mobility problems, but you have to stifle that in our shop. Movement is therapeutic for them just as it is for me. And like me, they want to be independent and self reliant. It bothered me to see them struggling with the set up of heavy equipment... but they will get it done if you give them time and stay out of their way. I just kept a watchful eye and helped out when they asked for it. I have my own problems, I have to learn how to do inside sales again, run a cash register, and re-learn how to drive a fork lift.๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

As a retirement job it doesn’t get much better. Great customers, great coworkers, no stress, no vibrants, no rage headed wahmen on antidepressants... but who knows. In a recession economy jobs and circumstances can change in a heartbeat. For now, we are back to saving money and prepping again. If I get any crap from a dishonest or disagreeable employer... fuggem, I’ll just quit and look for something else.

It’s weird though... I am still in a state of transition. When I was younger I pictured retirement as just merrily walking off the job, giving the world the finger, and disappearing into the woods to fish, hunt,  and camp my life away, or take a fun low pay job to finance that. Over the last 8 months or so of unemployment... the first few months were great. But without work I was going a bit squirrelly! Becoming an irrelevant Yesterday Man is turning out to be harder to do than I thought. For my parents, retirement was a piece of cake: the bought a big RV and camped at the golf course in summer. In winter they bought a vacation property in a retirement village in Arizona and we never saw them. My in laws, by contrast, went nuts. My father in law was an active man and without a workload he started getting in our hair. He brought his domineering wife with him into our affairs and that brought all kinds of trouble too. They weren’t necessarily mean or stupid... they were just bored out of their trees.

There’s a fine line between staying properly engaged with this world, and decoupling from it at this age. I suppose I’ll figure it out, eventually. Mind you, by then... it’ll probably be time to disengage completely! When your Maker calls you home, that’s that for that isn’t it? HAR HAR HAR!!!

If anyone needs me, you know where to find me! I’ll be in the rear view mirror - with all the other objects that are closer than they appear.

Have a good Sunday.๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ‘

Saturday, 22 February 2020

Saturday Music

I got complaints from the US gov't for my music post yesterday - so we will give Uncle Bob's Philharmonic Pops a break - and try something else.

Everything's made in China these days - even country music! Chinamen are shifty as a lot - when they talk they sound like ducks copulating. When they do music, it sounds like the tards experimenting in the kitchen. But, when they get it right - by Godfrey... they get it right!

Have a great Saturday!

The Flatulence Simulator

I’m still working on it, but the first stage is complete.
No smoking!!!
Another miracle courtesy of 
Crapcopter technology!!!

Filthicus: Blood And Sand

Ladies and Gentlemen, Citizens Of The Republic! It’s an honour to have you here!!!

Once again, it’s time for us all to sate our blood lust in the Arena! From one corner of the Empire: a barbarian who’s trained his entire life for the battle that lies before us today! Another from the opposite side - with the speed, viciousness and ferocity of a cat! Here, they will fight and die on the Sacred Sand for your amusement!!! Let the gladiatorial games begin!

Well chit.
I hope you guys got something fun lined up. 
Errrrrr ... how about those Oilers, huh? Oh wait... they suck too...!!!

Friday, 21 February 2020

Friday Morning Music

Uncle Bob’s Retard Philharmonic Pops

Listen to ALL of it damn you!!!
No ticket refunds!!!

What Planet Am I On?

Holy crap. I’ve been seeing bits, clips and sound bytes of that last Donk Debate you a Yanks had... and I’m just blown away. An evil Jewish corporatist statist prick billionaire, a butt blaster, a shrieking fake Indian, a senile creepy old man, and a geriatric Jewish Bolshevik... making a pervert-friendly presidential debate into a degenerate version of the Jerry Springer Show. The last time I saw a political display like that was back in the 70s when Arthur Carlson of WKRP Radio ran for political office in Cincinnati. Every single one of them should have been either in jail or on a psychiatric couch. The Babylon Bee and The  Onion have their work cut out for them.

I try to ignore Canadian politics because it makes my feel like curling up in a ball on a psychiatrist’s couch, or retreating to my safe place with a bottle of scotch. Here in Canada, we have tons of oil in Alberta. There is a market clamouring for it. To reach those markets we need to build pipelines to reach them. Right now, rail is transporting much of our oil. It’s inefficient and is more prone to environmental accidents. But because oil is Bad For The EnvironMINT, the greentards and libturds oppose Big Oil. We are now in deep recession in Alberta, and people are leaving in droves. Long story short, preliminary green lights have finally been given for a few pipeline projects. To protest, a handful of drunken red noggers set up their teepees on some railway tracks... and have closed down the country. The chugs set one up here in Alberta out by Acheson... and were promptly cleared away by enraged counter-protesters (mostly rig pigs whose lives depend on the petroeconomy). But our idiot Prime Minister, Turdo La Doo... won’t do anything about the blockades in the rest of the country. Seriously - people are running out of heating oil and propane, farmers can’t move grain, manufacturing can’t move products or get feedstocks or raw materials. A national leader can’t do what a few ordinary citizens did in Alberta in a matter of minutes. “We have to respect the natives dontchya know,” he scolds. FFS - those chit eating First Nation freeloaders get free housing, free medical, free education, tax exemptions out the wazoo, and special consideration at hiring time because of affirmative action... and they are shutting down my ability as a taxpayer to earn it for them because they want more! And even with all that, their reserves are infested with arson, drug and alcohol abuse, incest, rape, juvenile crime... you name it.

Guys? Hate to say it... but we gotta do something about Leftie. Not only him, but all the monsters he’s created....

Our civilization is teetering.

Thursday, 20 February 2020

It Will Only Look Better With Age

My Grandad was a Dough Boy in the trenches of WW1. He passed away back in the 80’s ... but one of the things I will always remember of him were his ghastly arm tattoos. I think the story was that he and his buddies got pished up during some down-time, and hit a seedy tattoo parlour in Fwance... I think I remember one that was a mermaid. They probably weren’t done all that well to begin with. Grampa was very fond of long sleeved shirts, as I recall.

I wonder if a bad tattoo is more bad assed than a good one?

Maybe Raging Abe Simpson had war time tats similar 
to Grampa’s? Maybe they’d look
better with the skin stretched out...?

I wonder what that tat with Donald and Hillary will look like in 50 years!!!!

I am the only man in my family without tats and given my deplorable tastes... that’s prolly a good thing.

The Tards Get A Blast From The Past

Blurghhhlglghhh. I’m still seeing tweetie birds and stars! How many fingers are you holding up, Pete? Yannow what? Fuggetit!!! I don't want to know!!!

This morning me and the boys were standing around, just minding our own business. Okay... maybe we made the place look a little untidy... but other than that - we weren’t hurting anyone - I swear!

Outta nowhere comes this goddess. She mighta been Mesopotamian, maybe Carthaginian - we’ll probably never know! Maybe Quartermain whistled. Maybe I made a rude joke, and maybe Jack laughed inappropriately. Whatever it was... a veritable chit storm violence ensued, and we were done in, in seconds!!! ASM and BP got their heads coconutted together with a loud hollow bonk - and they weren’t even doing anything! I got my head slammed down a spittoon, and a high heeled boot up my arse! Jack got thrown into a tree...and I think they’re still scraping Quartermain off the sidewalk. TB was going to draw his katana and leap to our defense... but that nasty ass woman gave him a dirty look and he dropped his sword, and ran away gobbling in fright! That raging she-bitch rolled over us like a Sherman tank!!! In a matter of seconds were were all splattered hither and yon, with nothing good to show for ourselves!!!

Looking at it from an engineering point of view, lets do the math and see if we can figure this out:

Let's see... 2.8 micro-aggressions (mA)…. multiplied by the intersectionality coefficient... what's the Damned Bitch (dB) factor on this one? 105? Let's run with that, for the sake of argument... errrrmmmmm… we'll need a new engineering unit to measure social justice punish-MINT in...? I don't think any of you academics, intellectuals and stubfarts will mind if we measure social justice in 'Filthies'? Splendid! It's compliant with the metric system, dontchya know!!!

The beating we all got comes out to 42 kiloFilthies. (kF). Ooops! Slipped a finger on the calculator!!! 62.8 MF MegaFilthies!!! But - what's an order of magnitude between friends? Welp… That's science for ya, folks!!! Note to you global warmers - our scientific smarts are at your disposal - reasonable rates!!! Greta - we have special rates for fellow members of the Retard Guild! Just sayin'!

If I were 30 years younger I think I woulda enjoyed that beating I got!!!

HAR HAR HAR!!!๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ‘

Have a great Thursday fellas and... mind ya manners, if ya know what’s good for ya.

Wednesday, 19 February 2020

20 Guys

Thats how many people it takes to shut down Canada.

Fuck you, Justin.


Biological Warfare

What are those? A heavily modded G36?


Have ya seen those new ‘snow bikes’ the kids are riding these days? They take off the back wheel, and put on a track... swap out the front tire for a ski... and they are in business!

They go like snot in space too! You can strap a can of gas on the tread deck along with a lunch and a tool roll... and be gone for the day! I could see this thing replacing 50% of the snowmobiles out there today! I wonder how it’d work for a stubfart ice fisherman out on the lake?

I know they’ve been struggling with this concept for years but just couldn’t seem to get it to work.

 I wonder how you’d get that one to steer? Sure looks cool though.

Much better...

When I was a kid, they were just beginning to transition away from the gentle, slow leisure snowmobiles, to serious fire breathing speed machines. Arctic Cat came out with a sled that could do 60 miles an hour across flat ice - and it was GAME ON. Bombardier came out with a faster one the next year; and the two manufacturers were at it like cats n’ dogs. Then John Deere beat them both up one year with that Liquifire or whatever it was. Gawd only knows how fast they’ll go today.

My first machine was a Bombardier Nordique which was basically a work and trail machine designed to float over deep snow rather than sinking down and chewing through it as the new narrow track speed machines do. Back when we still got huge snow, I could keep up with the monsters and even get away from them in the deep stuff.

Today I’d just love to have a small machine, say 250cc... strong enough to pull a poke and my arse across the lake to a good spot where the trout or perch are bitin’. But they seem to have gone the way of the buffalo.

But... I seem to be heading that way too, so maybe I’ll pick one up in the next life!HAR HAR HAR!


Have yourselves a great hump day!

Tuesday, 18 February 2020

Just A Wee Bump Is All It Takes...

One of the things I love about Olde Kippers was their penchant for understatement. Their pilots would come back from a lethal sortie, shot to hell "with a few scratches".  A scratch included anything up to and including the loss of limbs.

That's the world's first cruise missile in the pic - the German V1 buzz bomb. This thing, in it's day, was a mechanical marvel to rival the Apollo rocket ship. Consider what it had to do - navigate, accurately and autonomously - to its target across the Channel and land on a crowded city. No GPS, no remote control - just Joe The Robot. The control algorithms included proportional, integral, and derivative responses to maintain its course in spite of things like crosswinds. Humans do this unconsciously without thinking about it. Getting a machine to do it was a miracle of technology for the times. Joe The Robot would check and correct his pitch, his yaw, and roll several times a second and correct his attitude the same way a human did.

But Joe had his limitations. If the flight conditions changed too rapidly - he'd be unable to respond to them and correct. Old flight computers needed time to assess changes in attitude and calculate an output to recover. The Kippers found that if they could sneak up on one of these, and give the wing a bump upward - Joe The Robot would get rolled over, and go into a fatal poop loop and crash and burn harmlessly in the countryside. His scan cycles were too slow, and he wasn't fast enough or 'aware' enough to respond to his problem. The Germans back home would never know if Joe completed his mission or not.

Today this little crapcopter will fit in the palm of your hand. His flight controller is a little larger than a big postage stamp. He does basic telemetry and records everything he does and experiences on a 'black box' the size of your fingernail. Properly configured and enabled, he can fly to designated way points and return and even land himself. He scans and corrects his outputs to the motors thousands of times a second. His gyro, compass and accelerometer are chips a little larger than a big booger. The flight computer is so fast, it can correct for changing flight conditions AND for erroneous inputs from it's human pilot. Just as Joe The Robot wasn't fast enough to correct for fatal flight conditions - not even the fastest human could control this crapcopter. We simply don't have the reaction times. Joe The Robot is now so fast - he can outfly us with the greatest of ease.

Where will we be 70 years from now? I personally don't think AI is possible. Sure, Joe can calculate thousands of times faster than we do - but that's all he can do. He can't be made to hate or love and he is totally at the mercy of those who can.

We are all in deep, deep chit!

Have a great Tuesday! HAR HAR HAR!!!