Edyacashun: Asserting Your Authority In A Classroom Of Retards

Here at Uncle Bob's School For Wayward Boys N' Retards LLP - I often find myself getting challenged in the classroom by especially rotten problematic students. Some I throw down the stairs, some I'll tie down in a chair and beat with a lead pipe - and some are so friggin awful that none a that works!!! You begin to understand why our tuition fees are so high, right? Why, I recall that time Quartermain got his filthy little grubbers on some liquid nitrogen, some potassium permangenate and he... he... GAH. My blood pressure is going up!

Recently, in  fit of badness, one of the students posted a snarky reply to one a my scholarly poasts and thought he was cute when an ear worm started chewing it's way through my brain. Goddammitalltohell!

Sometimes, the best thing to do is punish the whole class in retaliation, and let the kids mete out further punishMINT to the offender out by the teeter totters after school. Everyone: put on your mascara, your glitter and make up! DO IT, you androgenous little faggots!!!! Or else!!! I'm sure you won't mind at all if I sing along...?

*In a faggy falsetto*

Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead.
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away.

Take that, you little bastids!!!! Would ya like some more? Or would ya like some more?!?!?

Ha! I thought so!

The rest a ya's - sorry I had to do that, but ya gotta correct bad behaviour before it becomes a habit. Try and have yourselves a great Hump Day!