Pete and Quartermain are performing the final tweaks and adjustments on our Retard Time Machine. My mission is to go back in time and kill the people that put us in our present state of affairs.
Whatever. Last time we ended up at a bar somewhere with you waving an outsize beer stein around and singing "What do we do with a faggot pee-em!", then turning your bar stool upside-down and telling everyone it was a table for four at a Justin True-Douche meeting. Everyone laughed maniacally, which was fine right up until some of us realized that the crowd didn't speak a word of English, or any other language we recognized.
Then Pete lifted that ashtray, and three days after we got back the stupid thing turned into a six foot bunch of over-ripe bananas.
My suggestion is that you go back to March of 1971 and convince Margaret to get an abortion. Or, better yet, go back to 1970 and convince Pierre to get a vasectomy.
I'd like to volunteer to go back with you, as part of the assault team.
ReplyDeleteWhatever. Last time we ended up at a bar somewhere with you waving an outsize beer stein around and singing "What do we do with a faggot pee-em!", then turning your bar stool upside-down and telling everyone it was a table for four at a Justin True-Douche meeting. Everyone laughed maniacally, which was fine right up until some of us realized that the crowd didn't speak a word of English, or any other language we recognized.
ReplyDeleteThen Pete lifted that ashtray, and three days after we got back the stupid thing turned into a six foot bunch of over-ripe bananas.
My suggestion is that you go back to March of 1971 and convince Margaret to get an abortion. Or, better yet, go back to 1970 and convince Pierre to get a vasectomy.
Are you looking for a real list or just a top 10?
ReplyDeleteHa!
DeleteHa!Ha!
Ha!Ha!Ha!
Love it!
I don't remember ANY of that!
DeleteI dunno, but could you give me a head start to grab that '56 Chevy?
ReplyDeleteGo ahead. I want the '57 Bel Air ragtop.
DeleteYeah we'd probably all go back and steal stuff. Or just pull all our money out of the bank and go back there and retire early.
ReplyDeleteGet a high end care for 800 bucks, a well appointed house for 8 grand, steaks for 55 cents a pound... ahhhhhhhhhh.....
Go back and kill the lawyers.
ReplyDeleteSimple, really