The Modern Philosopher King? Or Stand Up Comedian?

Never saw this guy before. Warning, rude jokes, profanity and bad taste ahead. For the pissers, moaners, bedwetters and sexual degenerates - viewer discretion is advised. I might have smirked a few times, but I think this is satire much more than comedy.

Interesting Games People Play: All Rise, Judge Filthie Presiding!

 

This one has Grumpy Old Men 

written all over it.

That is the way of it when stupid people fight about stupid stuff.

One of the few friends I have is a smelly old vagrant named Dirty Dave. The man lived and died for rude jokes and if you put him in the bowels of Hell, he would find something humourous to joke about. I personally think the devil will get the worst of it when he dies. 

Dave lives in a +55 condo and is on the board. He tells horror stories about the other seniors he meets with to discuss condo issues like maintenance and community regulations and guidelines. Dealing with the utter bullcrap reduced the happy go lucky fella to a spitting, gobbing profane wreck. Some of the board members were elderly drunks. Others were flat out senile and had the attention and comprehension skills of a potato. Most of the rest were just flat out assholes looking for a fight, and using the condo board as a weapon against their adversaries. Idiotic stuff like this was commonplace. 

To me it looks like an antique project truck. I personally don't care for the 'patina finish' but it isn't objectionable... and if I were judge, I'd be madder than hell that crap like this even got into my court. I'd fine them all $100.00 dollars and give them 30 days for wasting my time with crap like this.

An epiphany: pretty much all of our divisive and contentious issues in current events is just as stupid as this one is... and I suppose it is not just grumpy old farts that indulge in this idiocy.

Have a good Humpday y'all. Be nice to each other!

Death By SAMMICH or Bloat N' Float

The other day I was enriching my already formidable intellect and watching OyTube on the subject of dinosaurs. I remembered a stir up at the Ft. Mac tar sands back in the Trucks N' Shovels days. The story is that one of the steam shovel operators was shoveling away and hit something hard and nasty during the dig. A sharp eyed operator spotted what could be a fossil... and the tall foreheads were brought in to investigate. And - indeed it was! It turned out to be an immaculate fossilized and petrified specimen of a species never seen before. They eventually ended up calling it 'Edmontosaurus"or something like that. If I had been in charge I would have done it right and called it the "Fort Mac-O-saurus.

There was only one problem: at the time the silly bugger croaked and got buried - the area was under hundreds of feat of water. 8 gazillion years ago most of Alberta was under water and part of a huge in land sea. The scientists were stumped - how did this thing end up mired in the muck hundreds of miles from shore?

The best theory was that the critter died on shore and the bacteria in his stomach started to go to work and produce gases that causes some corpses to bloat. The tide came in and washed him out to sea where he eventually sank and came to rest in a plasterscene era sea bed. It is truly fascinating stuff.

The finest bread in all of Rome! In all

the Empire!!!!

All hail Emperor Filthicus!

I am a dead man walkin'. The Filthie Bread recipe is a winner. I think all that bread is about 1/8 of the loaf we made. I am now faced with a problem of bloat like my fellow old dinosaur millions of years ago. I ate this plate of it Roman style and it was great... but it sat in my guts like a tonne of bricks. 

This morning it is breakfast BLTs but without the lettuce.

Oh gawd... I can feel my massive gut expanding...  I'da thunk my sectional density would have gone up and that if I was placed in water, I'd sink like a stone. But due to my expanding displace-MINT, I bobbed around in the bath tub like a turd in the toilet. I could well float out to sea with enough displacement that I could make the Hawaiian islands or possibly Japan before I deflated enough to start taking on water.

When the robot archeologists dig up my petrified remains thousands of years from now, they will probably think I was some kind of biological dirigeable organism. I would like to be immortalized with a proper name too - like maybe Filthiesaurus Gasbaggius...? HAR HAR HAR!!!

I can't eat all of this. 

GAH....!

Maybe I will just do everyone a favour and die right here...

 

Go Ahead. String Him Up ...

 The powers that be need a win. They’ve concocted countless fake hate crimes, hoaxes, and poorly thought out narratives to attack white people and enable black criminals. We’ve all seen them. There was that black baboon at NASCAR that called the FBI because a rope pull on the garage door reminded him of a noose. There was another one that paid his simian pals to beat him up so he could go to the press with a fake sob story. There’s been at least 5 or 6 of these things in the last year. Of course, the hoaxes all broke down on rudimentary investigation. But now that lefties and liberals are calling the shots again, the race wars are back on. For this morality play all the actors have rehearsed their lines (those that could read, the rest will get bit parts). The props are all in place, the heroes strut and preen for the cameras, and the involuntary villains victims are mute, knowing anything they say will only make their lot worse. They are not there to play a part, they are just props.

I expect a sham trial, same as the OJ Simpson fiasco. Now that I know that liberal law is not about justice, all I can do is stand aside, and quietly clean my guns as the baying mobs are whipped into a righteous frenzy by posturing shitlibs. It sucks for the innocent young police officer, but for the rest of us?

The moral of this story if you are a cop is that if you do your job you will be punished. There will be no mercy for you, so if you see some niggered black gang banger doing what they do - ignore it and be somewhere else. The bosses and brass you suck up to want to defund you.

If you’re a law abiding citizen...black or white... this is a good thing too. Libs want to import people like George Floyd into your neighborhood where he may live on crime and welfare... but he’ll cancel your vote at election time if they can keep him out of jail. If this latest kabuki theatre gets the rotten wood in your cranium to smoulder... that’s a good thing.

If you’re a ‘grey man’ or obsolete as I am... you need to think too. The cops are not innocent. They beat up old women for not wearing masks. They arrest people that use their guns in self defence during the commission of a crime or cultural enrichment. During a riot, they will arrest the guy in a red MAGA hat while the gibbons and simians around him are looting and burning. Thin blue line? I will pick and choose the cops I support, thank you very much.

This is a learning moment, folks. The smart play here is to keep your mouth shut and your eyes open.

Monday Morn Rude Jokes

 Some Mondays are harder than others. Today our hard working men and women are waking up to an early spring storm. Yesterday was balmy and mild with the promise of spring. Today... high winds, blowing snow... and Monday. In like a lamb, out like a lion. I dunno if I will shovel the sidewalks or just let the sun take care of it when sensible temps resume. At times like these, it’s important to retain a sense of humour. Bed wetters, pissers and moaners, snowflakes and liberals may want to give the material that follows a miss.

 

 

Tragedy In Old Blighty

 

There are few things the Brits do that we should emulate... but these narrow canal boats...? I Amin love with them. I guess there is an extensive canal network in the country, and these boats are made for them. They are equipped with stoves, heaters, chitters - anything you’d find in a modern RV. They use very small engines to putt-putt-putt throughout the countryside.

Don't Laugh...

 

... if you think a surgical cotton mask will

stop a virus...

Second Best Girlie Pic On The Net

 

What is that? A prehistorical tactical Krag...?

Didjya notice the collapsible camp chairs too...?

Kim du Toit oddly and sadly enough... has the best one today. Usually the filthy old pervert is creeping out over elderly fatties and leaves me wanting to wash my eyes out with bleach, HAR HAR HAR!!! Unfortunately I too have a crush on Mallory Archer, and I didn't know what a stunning woman Jessica Walter was in real life. Gosh, she could really rock that Mallory Archer character like a pro too.

Give Us This Day Our Filthie Bread...

I should make a 40 lb. burg  patty and make a bun out of it.

Can you imagine trying to eat something like that?

So we tried it again. This recipe was slightly different... it has eggs and oil in it. The wife divided up the batter and made cinnamon buns with her half and mine got made into bread. We almost got into a domestic dispute because I wanted a pinch more salt this time. I won that battle and will prolly regret it. It looks okay though.. I think. I like the circular loafs. I want to eat that Roman bread I’ve seen on TV where they make a dip for it out of oil and balsamic vinegar. In the episode I saw, the characters were all sitting around eating it when the bad guys showed up... and the knives and swords came out and everything went to hell. The ancient Romans took their bread and their mayhem quite seriously, if Hollywood is to be believed.

After I got the kitchen cleaned I went out into the back yard and scooped dog poop. The snow melts, a few more land mines are exposed...and I get rid of them as soon as I can. Some are still ice locked and there’s nothing I can do until they thaw out. 

It’s still early spring here, though. The ice is still on the ponds, and it still snows some days. But thankfully the bow range is ice and snow free now...mostly.

I just shot until my arm fell off. It was nice to shoot in my shirtsleeves. One of the zipperheads left the front gate open when he left, and a passing couple dropped in just as I was packing up. They asked me about club fees and events and I went through it with them. They both just looked tired as hell, so I gently poked and prodded and got their story. They got their first boot in the arse a few years back when wildfires burned down half of Ft. McMurray. They were insured but a thing like that is a life disruption to be sure.  Then the Athabasca river flooded and they got caught in that. Couple that with the oil bust, and then chinkypox... and the last couple years have been really hard on them. They’ve moved down to Edmonton seeking better opportunities and I wished them well with it. According to official stats our unemployment rate in Alberta is 9.75%. I can’t prove otherwise but I will bet it is double or maybe even triple that. But whadda I know? I am just deeply thankful my wife is still working, we have some savings and we’re not out on the street. It really is amazing right now, isn’t it? It used to be that our victims were the poor and needy. Now it’s billionaires like Orca Winfrey, the Royals, the oppressed sportzball noggers, and all the coloured human trash flooding in from the third world. It’s the brave chubby nurses and public school teachers who selflessly do their jobs despite the deadly pandemic (with a 99.7% survival rate). They deserve “hero” pay!!!

I wonder where that money will all come from? Not me - I am just a bum on the dole. Not my visitors at the archery club. Not any of the tards and turds at the rod and gun club either. I sure hope all this diversity starts paying dividends soon...🤢

It’s too much to think about I guess. Have yourselves a great Sunday, and remember to be thankful you aren’t a victim... real or fake, HAR HAR HAR!

Take care.

 

Saturday Morning Music: Anthems Of Our Children

 

Sigh.

They know it all.

Dream on, kid. You’ll wake up one day.

Justifiable Homo-Cide In The Making

 

What Cultural Suicide Looks Like

 

 

The King Of Rimfires

 

I think that is a Fortner bolt action, is it not? I think the only place it found acceptance was with the biathlon crowd. If you watch them the skiers can work the bolt as fast as a semiautomatic. They just flip it with their thumb and they run as slick as snot on a doorknob! If I’m not mistaken, Anschutz is still making them. The base price was somewhere north of $2000.00 dollars and could go well over $3K depending on what kind of precision micrometer sights you ordered. Too rich for my blood... but in hindsight I shoulda bought one anyway...

The Filthie Celebrity File: TB Spotted

Tune in next week when I expose STxAR in a scandal

involving rat tailed bastards...

 

Perverts From Outer Space

 

Artifacts

 

A Scientific Treatise On Climate Change And The Origins Of Man

 Ladies and Gentlemen - Welcome to the Thunderbox! We’re so glad to have you here! 

Variety is the spice of life, and life has been spicey lately. Everyone is in a flather about fake news... but hell’s bells.... fake science blows by us every day with am odour akin to the rot of 1000 dead animals... and nobody even notices the stink anymore. Climate science 😊💨 Chinkypox 😊💨 Critical Race Theory 😊💨 Gender studies 😊💨

The occasional academic brain fart is to be expected but what what we see now is intellectual diarrhea!

💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩

Is it too much to ask? Just serious scientific discussion? Put your thinking caps on everyone, for today we take a deep dive into real climate studies, as it related to the very origins of man himself! Let us start your Friday off right!

Have a great Friday, all!

An Interesting Question

 I am probably full of it as usual. But a couple of us have noticed the patterns and when they break, we notice that too.

Remember when the Exxon Valdez ran aground and the the resulting oil spill? The Captain was hung out to dry. Rightfully so, maybe (you can never be sure of the facts with the mass media) - but by all accounts, he was a drunk and it was a small environmental disaster.

So now, we have this:

Maybe it's just me. But there was none of the usual finger pointing and blame-gaming going on with this container ship that went aground and bunged up the Suez Canal. They are blaming random gusts of wind, or not commenting on the causes at all. 

Could it be the captain and crew are diversity hires...? Who is the Captain? I couldn't even find that this morning. Why isn't he (or she) involved in the handling of this incident? I commence to smell a rat.

Like I say... I am probably full of beans.

How In Hell Do You Mess Up Bread?

 

My wife was right there watching me. She laid out the ingredients and I just mixed them up. She ven did the baking  part for me. And I still effed it up!!!!😡 GRRRRRRR!!!! The loaves kinda stuck together but that’s okay. But ... the bread was tasteless or something. It lacked...something.

It was our 36th anniversary a couple days ago and she took the day off. We baked bread, she did arts n’ crafts and relaxed and then we walked dawgs. I was just peachy with it... but I think the wife likes to make a bigger deal of such things. I suppose in better times we would have gone out for dinner. I don’t miss it at all. But I think my wife does. It was kind of a tough one this year.

Who knows, maybe things will get better. I wouldn’t mind getting a few more years’ work in before retiring.

The Art Of Manliness: Amputations

 

I can’t handle that website. I swear to gawd - some of those guys have to be poofs. And most a the rest are flimps, HAR HAR HAR!

As a lapsed black powder geek, I used to hang out with the weirdos and beardos on Claude’s old site... I don’t even know if it’s around anymore. The cannon guys were the most eccentric of the lot! They could raise your hair and make it stand on end as they gave lectures on culverns, demiculverns, falcons and all the other hell bores. And the shite they fired! “Grape” shot? Canister?!? Chains??? The injuries must have been hellish!!! In that period, in many places the battlefield surgeon was right up there with the barber...surgery was a ‘by guess and by golly’ proposition where if you survived to get off the battlefield with your injury... you probably wouldn’t survive the surgery. To do the job you would need a total lack of empathy and squeamishness.. and a very fast saw.

 

For Every Problm - A Solution