I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morn and decided to go out for a walk. It's not cold but chilly, an odd time a year when you can walk in your shorts but need a parka and a hat or toque. It'll warm up later today. Macey flat out refused to go. I tried to make her come but she wanted to be with her mom and that's fine too. Mort and I plodded out on our own.
We went for a longer walk than usual, down a back path that runs along a sculpted, landscaped creek in the Nob Neighbourhood. Follow it down far enough and it goes to one of those artificial lakes or sloughs that the high rollers can call 'a natural area'. It's full of ducks and geese so I guess it will do for them. It was a beautiful morn to be out. The only others out that early were some ambitious joggers and some other incontinent old buggers like me that had pooped the bed.
As we walked, I watched the water run in the creek for the first time this year. The creek had been frozen since last year and the running water was like music to the ear. As we walked, I spied a rock - carefully positioned on top of another bigger stone. It had the rainbow painted on it, with a big heart in the middle. I stopped to ponder it. Probably made by some happy, goofy kid who knew only what his elders were teaching him or her. I thought about the innocence of that poor kid, and the foulness of our educators that fill their heads with the crap that goes along with that rainbow flag. We started to move on, and I thought back to my own militant lesbian daughter, and her lunatic girlfriend... and sorrow came over me in a wave. I stopped, turned around, walked back and kicked that fucking rock out into the shallow creek with my boot. It landed face-down further out, and looked for all the world like just another stone... And the wave of sorrow and remorse swept over me for a moment more. I felt bad about my daughter, and about this poor child being indoctrinated with the same crap, and about kicking their well meant art project out into the creek. The kids don't know any better. I thought about all the heartache and anger and hatred the rainbow folk bring upon themselves and induce in others.
At least the stone is contributing to the tranquility of the setting now, causing the water to lap and burble around it as it meanders in search of its own level and rest. Perhaps I made that stone like me - standing in the middle of a stream while lunacy and degeneracy flowed around and all about? Water eventually erodes stone, given time...
I've always held that God never talks to me. I can see His works and feel His presence and that is pretty much where our relationship starts and stops. But when I gave that stone a random kick and sent it sailing out into the rocky creek ... it could have landed face up, with the rainbow side showing. Or maybe on it's side. But it landed firmly and finally - flag side down.
I wonder if Somebody didn't give me a bit of a hand with the punt? Bah - I am sure our Maker has better things to do than walk with some surly old bugger and his idiot dawg in the morning as he grumps at the world... but I feel rather bad about the whole thing.
It is not the right way to start the day.