Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Wednesday, 30 June 2021

Filthie’s Early Years


The puke and the finger are the crowning touches.

When I was a kid, we harnessed these technologies to fly
Model airplanes.

Highway Robbery

 Good grief! Cabela’s up here wants $60.00 for a pound of Goex FFFg! Oh, pardon me - $59.95! Arent ya supposed to at least kiss a guy before ya do something like that to him? Sheesh! Gawd, I hate those corporate whores! Shopping around… I can get it for $39.00 lb… but then I gotta tack shipping onto that.

Options might be Pyrodex and Triple 7… $29.00/lb. But gee whiz… I bought my black powder guns because I want to shoot black powder just as our ancestors did. I love the old ways and reconnecting with them is about doing things the same way they did. I like the stink, the smoke and the grime! These cleaner burning ‘replica powders’ don’t cut the mustard!

When I got into this I originally regarded my Spaghetti Plains Rifle and my percussion pistol as toys… but then I began to see what could be done with them and started chewing through my supplies. It’s time to stock up again in a very volatile market these days.

Ugh… Those Russians….


I have read accounts of folk that have raised bears for companions say that there are no better. Keep them fed, treat them with respect and they will become fiercely loyal and amicable companions. I think I am going to get one when my wife recovers her senses of sight and smell and kicks me out.

Humpday Rude Jokes


This is quite possibly a snapshot of what goes on in the imperial
Capitol today…

GAH! This has gotta be the worst blog to start your day on! Maybe another toon from the Chairman Of The Board can help redeem the day?

I like these old tunes because even a tin eared harelipped retard like me can sing them as well as the artist!

🎼🎡….Strangers in the night
Exchanging condoms
This one is too tight….🎢

It’s really a pity y’all can’t hear me sing. You have my personal assurance that I sound at least as good as Frank does. Don’t be shy about going at the day with a song in your heart too!

Thanks for dropping by!



Y’know… I might a been wrong about
Orca Winfrey.
Truly, daytime TV taken to
artistic heights…

Tuesday, 29 June 2021

Echoes Of Our Elders


“In September 1918, the German government issued a diplomatic protest, complaining that the Model 97 Trench Gun was illegal because “it is especially forbidden to employ arms, projections, or materials calculated to cause unnecessary suffering” as defined in the 1907 Hague Convention respecting the Laws and Customs of War on Land. When the Americans rejected this, the German high command then threatened to execute any soldier caught with a Trench Gun or even just Trench Gun shells. General Pershing replied that, henceforth, any Germans caught with flamethrowers or saw-bladed bayonets would be lined up and shot.”

Hmpffff… if you are going to ban inhumane weapons… I will agree that the shottie is an unsportsmanlike weapon to use on humans… but so is gas, artillery, land mines, aerial bombardment, RPGs… you name it.  And today the yields are up by orders of magnitude. I hope we have the stomach for the future our leaders are preparing for us.

That’s The Way You Do It


I would pay good money to cross a river like that… and I don’t think I am the only tard around here that would, either! I can feel the cool breeze…

Today I am hanging out in the Reclusium Subterraneum in hopes of escaping this awful heat. I’m watching the dogs like a hawk because they are enduring this in fur coats. I have air conditioning out in the camper and may sleep out there tonight.

In the meantime, here is another song about crossing rivers in style. πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘ I’m told this toon was written by Henry Mancini. I am no expert, but that guy has to be one of the greatest composers of the modern era.

Recycle & Repurpose

My wife has the old Singer sewing machine that has similar ironwork that this chair has. I personally would rather see the original sewing machine refurbed. Apparently you can still buy parts for them to this day. Our old Singer is strictly decorative, the wife has a modern top tier Bernini sewing machine and she is darn good with it. I think it does any number of functions and weird stitches the Singer can’t. She subscribes to the sewing mags and follows the arts n’ crafts sorceresses on OyTube. She has no interest in the Singer though. It sits and gathers dust and is a convenient place to put junk that we are too lazy to put away properly, HAR HAR HAR!

One day I am going to restore that thing even if I have to learn to use it myself. I would hate to see it end up like the one in the pic…


I Gots Ta Axe A Question…

What happens when the states start de-certifying the election results? Sounds like Arizona is getting ready to do it, according to some sources…




Looks like Ya Need Another Shot…

When I was a kid the TV networks lived and died to produce the best sitcom series they could. Most were awful, but some weren’t bad. If they got a winner, they’d try to “spin off” other sitcoms from it, often using minor characters from the original as the leads for the new one.

I think we are seeing the same thing now. Because Chinkypox was so much fun… we need another variant  to panic the Karen’s, the Aesop’s, and the other miscellaneous tards that failed grade 11 biology and high school statistics.

Coming soon to your home theatre, folks!

Delta variant, huh? Nice PR work and marketing with that one, fellas… but no thanks. Pull my other finger, guys.

Hmmmm. It dovetails with my pet conspiracy theory… consider:

The chinkypox was a obviously a psyop and a manufactured crisis. Nobody died, really. But the charade had to go on: the world’s crack scientists develop a vaccine. The disease only killed the very old, frail and infirm. But The vaccine kills strong young men that are star athletes. My sources say between 30,000~50,000 have died from the vaccine already. (My favourite was that silly bitch on Twatter, that made herself famous as she railed and ranted about maskless super spreaders and conspiracy nuts like me. She went on Twatter, all brave and noble, posed for pics as she got the vaccine…and was dead two days later!πŸ˜‚πŸ‘)  In Europe, authorities are embarrassed as more and more people get the flu they supposedly got vaccinated against. Could the ‘Delta Variant’ be the new bogeyman used to explain all this reality breaking out?

It’s a scam no self respecting tard will fall for…but they fell for the first one, so who knows. The hell of this is that they are setting up for the situation the same as the boy that cried ‘wolf!’. If we ever DO face a REAL pandemic…nobody will believe them when they sound the alarm.

Monday, 28 June 2021

Football Is Gay

 Don’t take my word for it.

Queers… black baboons… whatever. I checked out of sportzball early in life. My elderly father is addicted to it… I would love to ask him what he thinks of it all. I would ask him, if I could, but it would only set off my shitlib mother and I am all too aware of the old harpy’s politics, HAR HAR HAR!

Any of you guys die hard fans? What say you about this fuckery? Is this what you want of your sport?

You Arrogant WORM!!!

 Your back aches for the whip! I’ll see you FLOGGED for your effrontery!!!

What if WL Emery and rest those frauds at the Royal Geographic Society see that? I could get black listed at the country club!!! All my martial and gentlemanly credentials are called into question!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh. This fine dragoon
settles the nerves and relieves the eyes after that

It’s a sad day indeed, when a gentleman of my sterling character can be besmirched by any passing blackheart or cudgel… and now I’ll probably catch the hell of it from that unsavoury crowd of ruffians that have a penchant for suppository guns with unmanly smokeless propellants!

There is no justice in this world, save that little for which we make for ourselves…πŸ™


Not Aging Well


I wonder what our ads will look like in 100 years…?

“What are you doing this weekend, Smithers? 
Something gay, no doubt…”
Montgomery Burns

Le Tour De Frog


Road rash au gratin…

Everybody’s hacked right off at the ditz that caused the pile up and I get that. But hell’s bells… these guys are riding on the rear tire of the guy in front of them. You get 150 guys doing that… and this could happen again with a patch of sand or grit, or a mechanical failure, or a split second loss of concentration. Sure, they should throw the book at the perp…she was probably drunk… but if this were a serious event theyd send those guys off in flights and space them out.

Random Beauty - When They Were Queens


Sunday, 27 June 2021

I Don’t Do Cat Jokes

 Cats, or any feline, are not ferocious predators by nature. You keep them fed - and they turn into the most oafish clowns to walk the earth. I watch some Russians on JewTube that have a cougar… and the thing is a spoiled brat and relentless practical joker. Another Russian chick has a black panther and a big Rottie and watching them squabble is like watching Stampede Wrestling. Making fun of foolish felines is like shooting fish in a bucket. To laugh at such antics is indicative of low character and intellect…

So… might as well do cat jokes, I guess. I’ve done it, though. I’ve hit rock bottom! Sob! Woe is me. What next? Whoring myself out for cheese burgers in a trailer park?😭

Oh, how the mighty have fallen…πŸ˜₯


Baby Boomers


The Electric Pervert


My wife is a big wheel at the country church and is mixed up in all their affairs and doings. Every Saturday night they go down to a local park for young people's gathering - although anyone can show up, even old farts like me. It's more of a young family thing by the look of it. The adults throw a frisbee while the little ones play in the sand and on the playground equipment. There's not a face diaper in sight, and there's no social distancing.

I decided to drop by on Big Red to see if I could escape the scorching summer heat - we are topping 30C here right now. So I show up... and good lord. The kids. Two ripped young fellas were duelling on the tennis courts. I knew the younger one, he is already a manager where he works. The adults gaffed and flopped after a frisbee or chatted in groups. They had camp chairs, pop, and had moved right in. A young chinaman showed up and apparently he already owned two Husky gas stations.

When I was their age I was already into the booze. I worked shitty jobs for shitty boomers that didn't care whether I lived or died and paid me accordingly. They had problems of their own I guess. What a waste my youth was. I didn't know any better at the time, it was just the way things were. Us kids were supposed to find our own way. I remember so many of our friends lost theirs. They're still lost, some of them. When I was a kid Cheech and Chong were role models. Nowadays it's Annie The Tranny,  and Mary Hotbox And The Butt Blasters. And they're going after the kids in elementary school.

I suppose I finally DID find my way... but the cost. And the wasted time. Find yourselves a good church, folks. Raise your kids right. Don't leave them to 'find their own way'. 

Show them.

Saturday, 26 June 2021

The Proper Way To Stoke Your Stinker


Blinded By Science



The other day I was on the trail in the bush and a ruffie broke cover and ran across the trail in front. I didn’t even see the bird until it moved. The birds are masters of camouflage. Then the chicks took after their mom… they literally were underfoot… and one scampered right over my shoe before disappearing into the bush.

Hope the coyotes don’t get them…stuff like this just lifts my heart.


Friday, 25 June 2021

Friday Range Report: Cold, Wrinkley Balls


Well…it has been a long time. Year and a half or two, anyways. I broke out the cap and ball pistol today. I don’t shoot it nearly enough. The problem with these cheap Italian repro western guns are that they are sighted incredibly high. If you wanted to hit a man in the chest at 25 yards - you’d have aim at his belly button. I shot this group as fast as I could load it and shoot it. If I measured out my powder charges, and shot slowly and deliberately I could cut two inches off that group, maybe even three.

The balls drop from the new mould with a pronounced sprue which is new to me. All cast boollits have a sprue; some are just more obvious than others. Here it’s no big deal; you just seat the ball in the cylinder sprue up, and ramming it home into the cylinder probably pushes it more into round as it seats.

The next project here is a proper tall sight so I can get a proper aiming/sight picture. To shoot this group I had to aim about a foot and a half low. I’m thinking a squared off handsome Patridge style blade will do nicely. The beauty of these guns is that the bubba can easily modify them and not get into trouble.

Stubfart Mike has an interesting treatise on the subject for those that would like to take their cap and ball shooting to the next level.


The Funk Of 1000 Dead Animals 🀒


My mind rots.

I’ve seen documentaries on navy life. The submarines are the worst; the bunks on those things have the guys crammed in there like sardines. What happens when a swabbie gets the bed farts? I’ve heard the big carriers have five or six thousand people on them living elbow to elbow now!

I am not squeamish. I’ve proudly shat myself and watched the tards retch and writhe as they died and laughed. I’ve died 1000 deaths the same way. I can take it, and I can dish it out. But now women are on those boats, and if you think us guys reek… I am here to tell you that on bad days, the funk of females could kill a trucker! Or a Marine or a swabbie! I’m not joking either.

It makes me glad that I am becoming something of a hermit.



There are no words. Anyone that puts a red dot on the King Of Leverguns should be burnt alive at the stake. Then hung. Then drawn and quartered. And then their cranium should be split, and their brains spilled out upon the ground where they can be trod with dirty shoes!

From The “If Ya Can’t Say Anything Nice Dept.”

That’s a real bugger for anyone. I know how it is; Macy will be 16 this year if she can make it. She’s blind and deaf, she scares the hell out of me on stairs, and her walks are so short now. But she’s happy and hanging in. If there’s something to bark about, Mort lets her know; she loves her treats and sleeping in the shade in the back yard. 

Ya don’t make fun of a death in the family; it’s just bad taste and bloody bad karma. But some folks are so vile this kind of stuff springs to mind and I can’t help it

 If you’ve never met him, that’s Herbert The Pervert from The Family Guy. He is the local pedo and senior delinquent. The POTUS is literally a friggin cartoon character. 

Look at that, and tell me I’m wrong.