Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Saturday, 31 July 2021

Road Warriors


 

Kingaddarood

 


Tooo oorsa pooshin broom 🎶 
Bahsan ehtbah twelve foorbadrooom 🎵 

Sing along everybody!

 



Every day we are confronted with more evidence that our leaders are nuts and have to be disregarded, if not replaced. Are you Yanks seriously going to draft your daughters and send them to fight for you? 

Years ago I was down in Aaaaaaaaadmontin's river valley park system in the scorching summer heat. A string of squaddies popped up on the trail. Their ever-indulgent commanders had decided to treat them to a nice walk in the park too - with a full ruck, head-to-toe cadpat and heavy combat boots. But the boys embraced the suck and called out rude jokes to each other, encouraging their friends to stroke out and give their mates a chance to rest. Mommas were insulted, intelligence, ancestry, and sexual prowess were questioned - and the boys tramped past. Nobody was going to stroke out in this heat and if he did, he would never live it down. That much was obvious. Five minutes further down the trail a huffing, purple faced fattie popped up on the trail - looking like she was going to stroke out any second. She was heavier than I was and probably less fit - and I am in bad shape. 

These power wahmen are going to get themselves and their squadmates killed. 

 


I know men that will bugger around, swapping out the chokes
on their scatter guns. 
I don’t.
My Italian Cheapomamamia side by each
came with full and improved cylinder chokes.
I can miss with both.



Saturday Morn Rude Joke Round Up


Good morning ladies and gentlemen, it’s so good to have you here!  It’s going to be another scorcher today, so folks are liable to be tetchy and short tempered. Stay cool by playing in the lawn sprinkler in the nude, and lower your stress levels by inducing higher ones in the clowns and cretins that vex and try us with their endless nonsense. Do your more physical chores in the early morn while it is still cool. I intend to enjoy it because there aren’t to many more left in the year. 

Be careful in the heat and have a great day.































 

 


Hmmmmmmmm.
I have been seeing these new midget shot shells for sale at the gun store,
And they might be useful in such a weapon.

Friday, 30 July 2021

Filthie’s Four Shot Front Stuffer

 


So how in hell does this thing work? Ya seat a round ball and a charge down the pipe… and then seat another one in front? It’s a great concept until WL gets soaked in gin, and fires the rear charge before the front one while a white rhino bears down on him…

I think we better have him stick to his Rigby’s and Holland&Holland’s for now…

I’d Fuggettabatit If I Was Him

 


 




I don't spend as much time on the trap and skeet as I used to. In fact, now that I think about it, I have never been an especially competent scatter gunner. But the odd thing is - in my skimpy experience - the best ones around here are women... and many of them are younger and dazzlingly beautiful. I am not kidding either.

Now that I think of it, they come in two flavours too: the demure goddesses that can stop your heart with a word or a smile... and the rancid bitches that make you want to head for the hills. A hundred years ago at the old Strathcona club I almost got gooned by a flying Krieghoff shotgun when Susan Nattress threw it at the rack because the skeet machines weren't set right and was throwing the birds too high or too low - I can't remember. Those shotguns were worth about $25,000 dollars back then. They have to be more than that now.

If you or I had done that, the stubfarts and hecklers would have had a field day with us, and then we'd get the very hell of it from the range master. But with Susan, they all turned white as a sheet, quailed in fear and turned away and pretended not to notice it.

The mind wobbles.

Hmmmmmmmmm. Religious Exemptions?

 I am just laughing like a loon. The faggotry and liberals are all howling mad that the tyrants they voted for are planning on bringing back the masks and lockdowns… and it’s all your fault, you Covitard! You maskhole!!! HAR HAR HAR!!! But don’t you DARE suggest it’s the fault of all the human trash flooding over the borders!!!! You racist chit!

😂👍

I personally am not too worried about the “vaccines”. They kill about as many people as the chinkypox… one in 100,000? The risk is minimal, from what I can filter out of the BS, it’s more of a placebo than anything else. It’s the principle that hacks me off. That, and where this is all going. Gazing into my crystal ball, here is what I see potentially coming down them rattlin’ liberal sewer pipes: the next lockdowns will fail. The fake vaccines will fail. Idiots like Aesop and Comrade Misfit will amplify and magnify the fear porn spewed out by the media. They’re driving themselves mad with it right now, and the placebos won’t work. And…they know who to blame. Eventually they are going to do something stupid, and they’ll win a stupid prize… and then it’s stupid prizes for everyone.




Regardless - I am not taking that vaccine unless I am absolutely forced to… and maybe not even then. Whatever. Those horrible wanks over at Blab may have found an excellent way to formally defy TPTB on this one. As for me… I tend to be covert about these things. Personally I doubt this legal challenge will work. The lefties have thrown science and morality under the bus with chinkypox… they’ll just throw the law out too. And that’s when the stupid prizes will start going out.

Stuff like this really calls public healthcare into question for me. This is highway quackery.

The time draws nigh to do unto others - and then split! This may or may not be my hill to die on, but I’ll let you know! Better hills with better views are certainly possible in the days ahead. Best of luck to you on whatever hill you wind up on.

Have a great Friday.

Filthie Five - O: Modern Crime

 


I don’t need my formidable powers
of observation and deduction for this one.
That’s a great big gaping vag on Kermit…

Happens all the time to them apparently. It’s just the way of it with trannies.
The two get snuggly and snoodle;
she finds out he was a she… and nature takes its course.

The pig did it.
Book ‘em Danno.


 



Black Friday

 










Mornin’ ya old fart. Thanks for stopping in!

I shouldn’t whine, it’s unmanly. But good lord, I feel my years behind me some days. And I’m not talking about aches n’ pains, or having to get up to pee a couple times a night, or smelling like death and excrement like old men do - what’s that? Not a problem for you? HAR! Fella - I can smell you over the innernet! Oh wait - that’s me. Sorry, my mistake.

It’s the little things that make me feel old. Like music. Sure, the lyrics and notes and the stars evoke memories from days gone…but just think for a second about how we make music happen. Do you remember fighting to set up iToons on your cell, and then going hand to hand trying to get it to sync up with the car or the bike or some other device? Ya finally figure it all out and sigh with relief as your mouldy oldies start to play and thinking you’re the bomb.

And the cool kids are playing LPs. On turntables. You little shits! Ya don’t think I can see what you’re doing there!?!?  Screw you, you little bastids! The Beatles sucked back then, and they still do today! Or they’re digging up those old metal cased Leica cameras and doing their pics on 35mm. Well aren’t you just the coolest little retronaut!!!  Ya got a video camera on your phone, ya harelip retard!!!I don’t mind when they revive the cool cars like the old ‘Cuda’s, GTOs, Chargers….but hell’s bells! Paying six figures for a Chevy Nova? The only thing gayer than the Beatles was the Chevy Nova! But…I suppose the kids think butt blasters are cool now too, so there ya go.

At least we can all agree that JC is cool, so maybe there’s hope for the kids.

If I see any of you little shits trying to revive disco music, somebody’s gonna die. That’s a promise!😡

Now unless anyone else has a flaming bag of dog chit to leave on the front porch… I’m going back to bed.

😴 

Thursday, 29 July 2021

Retard Pop Quiz Answer

 




I love the way that Poe uses language.
The characters and voices come alive despite the archaic
verbiage.

What Else Is Down There? Retard Pop Quiz


 

I love it. It’s a decor that would be right at home in the Reclusium Subterrainiae. But what other dark secrets hide in the depths of this one?☠️

Today’s contest: correctly identify the story and the author. Answer to be posted later today.

The thousand injuries of Toirdhealbheach Beucail I had borne the best I could, but when he ventured upon insult… I vowed revenge. You who so well know the nature of my soul will not suppose that I gave utterance of a threat. At length, I would be avenged. This was a point definitively settled but the very definitiveness with which it was resolved precluded the idea of risk; I must not only punish, but punish with impunity. A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redressor. It is equally unredressed  when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong…

You know the rules, no googling, and no prompting from the studio peanut gallery! Leave your guesses in the comments, if you are so inclined.

Important

 


 


The Demise Of The North American Bison


They had it coming.

 


You’ll probably never hear this anywhere else but here at the lowly Thunderbox. For awhile I used to willingly associate with the eccentric and unsavoury black powder muzzle loading geeks. These guys were amateur curators and anachronists. They don’t give a hoot about political correctness… but they live and die for period correctness. They will almost get in fist fights over historical details they disagree about.

One thing most of them agree on is that the great Buffalo herds were not decimated by the white man as per the popular narrative. During the period there simply weren’t enough people in the west to do it. They argue that few people really understand how many animals there actually were at the time. The only thing that could have wiped them out in those numbers is disease.

It may sound like a lame attempt at historical revisionism and white washing, but no. They also agree on and acknowledge the buffalo eradication programs were a historical fact… but that they just couldn’t explain the massive die off seen in the great western herds of the day. The indians were subdued by warfare… not starvation. Make of that what you will; deliberate starvation of your enemy is an old form of warfare and is still in use today. Blaming your enemies for disease and pandemics is still around today too. 

I used to wish I could hunt them, but in reality they don’t make good game animals. Other than man, they have no real enemies or predators that can effectively take them on. They aren’t good farm animals either, despite the novelty buffalo ranches. Your fencing has to be on par with the Maginot Line and these critters do not domesticate easily. The world moved on, and these guys had no real place in it.

Perhaps the same fate awaits us.



 

Photoshop Hoax

 


Just like starting the campfire with a bow drill is physically 
impossible and an urban myth - so
is shooting accurately with one hand.
Anyone that claims otherwise is a filthy
liar.


 

Wednesday, 28 July 2021

Best Music Video Of All Time

 Now  that I have time I am forced to entertain myself in unhealthy ways. I am watching Suits on Netflix and will admit I enjoyed some of the more cretin-like episodes. I often laugh at the wrong stuff - like where that terrible black chick that runs the office is peeved because she got her job through affirmative action. Of course I am supposed to be outraged... but all I could do was laugh. In the bad old days she wouldn't have gotten the job at all because EEEEEVIL RACISM, but nowadays she gets special treatment and a plum job because of her skin colour - and she's mad about that too! HAR HAR HAR!!! Most of America's human trash is in either New York City or the state of California I guess. 

I do like the title theme music - and the video is first rate.

Take your ease and enjoy.




Does anyone just go to the washroom and drop a deuce
anymore...?
Apparently not!


Today’s Mandatory Decompression Poast


 

One hundred years ago, light years from here, I used to be able to get The Dalemore for about 35 bucks. I always had a bottle stowed in my Jeep and/or in the camping gear. A generous flask was always in the tackle box too. Stupid Store had a bargain one day: a case for $150.00. I almost had a nervous breakdown: the wife would have shot me and rightfully so - that was a lot of money for us in those days. I had to pass, but I still regret it to this day! Even though I seldom drink.

Nowadays The Dalemore is a fine spirit but grossly overpriced - like all the rest of them. And like the rest of them, they are coming out with one ridiculous ‘special bottling’ after the other - and some of them are nothing more than lighter fluid. Whenever the friggin yuppies get into something - they usually ruin it. I shook my head in utter disgust when the fags at Highland Park had a whole collection of ‘special bottlings’ named after Norse gods. Do they come with comic books too?!? Winston Churchill must have spun in his grave! “Oh, Nigel!!!! I simply MUST collect them all!!!!”

Now that I am penniless and worthless I will drink whatever’s in the jerry can… even if it is Famous Grouse. I doubt I am missing anything by doing so.

Via M

 


Sigh.

No, that is not me…
But I suppose you’d be correct to suspect it… 
😔

Brave And Courageous Olympians

 Hmppfpfpfffff.

Y'know... where I come from, that would probably be called craven and "bailing out on your team and leaving them in the lurch." But whadda I know? One of my favourite rude bloggers refers to modern sporting events as 'human flea circuses'. HAR HAR HAR!!!

I don't give a hoot about the olympics to be honest. The regular cheating and politics and scandals are bad enough, and unfortunately the athletes get the short end of that. But the current state of women's sport just turns me right off. That pink haired cretin that is the captain of the USA lesbian soccer team is so vile that Americans cheered when they lost. Then there were the hysterics and theatrics of trannies in women's sport. The drama and lunacy never ends. Call me sexist... but that stuff gives me a headache and I won't watch it. But - is this what people want? I am asking because I don't know, I live under a rock in the forest. Maybe folks like this kind of thing?

Fah! I much prefer the retard Special Olympics. I aim to take the Gold away from Quartermain in this year's fart contest - but Aesop is a top contender too. It should be a real match now that we have implemented the "No Texans" rule.

- and no, no one need concern themselves over our mental fitness!

😉

Have a great morn.

Unholy Concoctions


 

When I violently overthrow the gubbimint of Canada I am going to annex the USA and then impose harsh and brutal morality laws and death squads to enforce them.

The Starbucks will be raided the same way any brothel will. The wahmen, fornicators, whores, sinners and perverts will be punched, kicked and slapped into waiting paddy wagons and hauled off to work camps where they will get 30 days of hard labour.  Then my men will go back in the shop with flame throwers and sledge hammers and take care of the “coffee equipment”. The only permissible coffee additives will be milk, cream and sugar, and only women and children will be allowed to do it.

Is that what I think it is in the pic? Some butt blasting gay hipster is putting coffee in beer? 🤮

Those degenerates will go into the camps to be made into soap or beautiful lamp shades, or composted depending on the quality of their skin.

Great days and moral redemption await.



What is that hatch in the middle for?
To feed the firebox?
There is obviously a hot water tank on the left… is 
the oven on the right?
How do you open it…?

Ivory….










I know that I should hate ivory for the market it represents (it’s entirely based on poaching)…but gawd… what a magnificent material. These ones are probably done with a man made synthetic if I don’t miss my guess.