Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Tuesday, 17 August 2021

The Gong Show Begins


Here we go again!

This retard arts n' craft class is now in session!!!

For what it's worth, I am going to try my first pancake holster. This project is well beyond my meager skill level and since my wife is a bit of a seamstress, I was forced to swallow my pride and beg her help with the pattern which is frankly, the hardest part of these things to get right. I think I am going to try and line it as well. The leather I will be using is super thick saddle leather, and I am expecting a full blown Stampede Wrestling Cage Match when I go to form it.

The expert on JewToob took 2.5 hours 
to complete the project.

It took the wife and I that long just to come up with the pattern. We got into a pitched punch-up fighting over it and then foolishly discovered that we were saying the same thing different ways... kinda sorta. But.... Now that I think about it... I think I misremember the details, and the wife was actually right and I was wrong. 

Goddammit!!!!! FFS!!!!! 🤬

I should go punch her out again on general principles!!! Harrrrumppfpfpffff!!! 😵

I better cool off!

I kid, I kid. I suppose I shouldn’t joke like that, I have been blessed by God to have a woman that will put up with all my psychological problems. Many better men haven’t been as lucky in that regard.

In any event, the paper fitment seems to work so tomorrow I will be cutting leather AND farts in the Retard Reclusium. I fully expect a shit show tomorrow,  and anticipate a precarious emotional state as a result. I fully expect the other tards to be nurturing and encouraging and not to infringe on my safe place. Any rude jokes at my expense will be met with temper tantrums and sulking of biblical proportions!!! This goes for fags like Pete and Jack and Quartermain - The Usual Suspects, HAR HAR HAR!!!


Wish my luck fellas.


  1. The pattern looks like it might work.

    I was surprised when I went to work in aircraft sheet metal how some of my skills as a dressmaker transferred over to flat pattern work in metal.

    1. Although my A&P mechanic worked on my Wichita spam-can, his real love is dope-n-fabric ragwings. He is an artist in stitching up a wing or fuselage.

  2. Good luck my ass !! You've got this.

  3. A man that finds a WIFE, finds a good thing. Sounds like you chose well, bud. Good on you both.

  4. A good wife is hard to find... I've kept mine around (no idea how) for almost 35 yrs! I just started a month or so ago on leatherworking myself... Made a few passable wallets and belt cases for leathermans/multitools and flashlights. Once my mind got used to thinking 3 dimensional it came a little easier for me. Looks like you have a much better grasp on it than I do, I am sure you will have great success with the holster.