I swear. It never ends. We started off down the wrong road as kids. We had any number of coffee makers and couldn't keep the damn things running for more than a couple years. As time went by the machines got more expensive and had shorter service lives. Then we went to a coffee squisher - ya put the coffee in, fill it up with hot water, and then squish the grinds out with a fine mesh squeezer. Now we just got this buggardly thing. Ya put a filter in the funnel, fill that up with coffee, and pour the hot water over it. The coffee that comes out is directly into the glass beneath. That gay looking kettle has a fine spout so you can trickle the water out into the funnel above.
Yes, it works. I still get that jolt of fast high test Stubfart energy I need to crank over the metabolism and get it farting and bubbling and wheezing in the morn. By the time I'm done my second cup I tend to be idling reasonably smoothly.
But... this ain't right either - any more than that queer fwench press. I suppose this stuff is fine for women and flimps like Quartermain and Pete... but it just ain't right for me. I need three standard tin cups of coffee to start and run in the morn, and this funky new kettle only holds two. To stand there, carefully pouring the coffee round the funnel to wash the grinds back down...? Dammit - I got a life! There's daylight to burn, dawgs to be insulted, and chores! Bah! I wanna slam two cups, and do my kitchen chores. Then I want to sit down and properly enjoy the third while I look for people to gob and spit at on the innernet. After that... I am ready for the rest of my chores and my day.
When I was a kid, Mom had an elegant glass coffee perk that could keep a couple nattering hens jazzed for an entire morn. By the time they were done, their eyes would be round as saucers, they'd be shaking with barely controlled rage and fury, and when they broke up for the day they'd have the housework done in time for afternoon coffee. That's what I want... but I haven't seen those for years.
I've had it. This is the next one, and no bones about it.