I swear. It never ends. We started off down the wrong road as kids. We had any number of coffee makers and couldn't keep the damn things running for more than a couple years. As time went by the machines got more expensive and had shorter service lives. Then we went to a coffee squisher - ya put the coffee in, fill it up with hot water, and then squish the grinds out with a fine mesh squeezer. Now we just got this buggardly thing. Ya put a filter in the funnel, fill that up with coffee, and pour the hot water over it. The coffee that comes out is directly into the glass beneath. That gay looking kettle has a fine spout so you can trickle the water out into the funnel above.
Yes, it works. I still get that jolt of fast high test Stubfart energy I need to crank over the metabolism and get it farting and bubbling and wheezing in the morn. By the time I'm done my second cup I tend to be idling reasonably smoothly.
But... this ain't right either - any more than that queer fwench press. I suppose this stuff is fine for women and flimps like Quartermain and Pete... but it just ain't right for me. I need three standard tin cups of coffee to start and run in the morn, and this funky new kettle only holds two. To stand there, carefully pouring the coffee round the funnel to wash the grinds back down...? Dammit - I got a life! There's daylight to burn, dawgs to be insulted, and chores! Bah! I wanna slam two cups, and do my kitchen chores. Then I want to sit down and properly enjoy the third while I look for people to gob and spit at on the innernet. After that... I am ready for the rest of my chores and my day.
When I was a kid, Mom had an elegant glass coffee perk that could keep a couple nattering hens jazzed for an entire morn. By the time they were done, their eyes would be round as saucers, they'd be shaking with barely controlled rage and fury, and when they broke up for the day they'd have the housework done in time for afternoon coffee. That's what I want... but I haven't seen those for years.
I've had it. This is the next one, and no bones about it.
You need is one of those old fashion percolators. Mom had one that sat on the stove with a glass knob made 8 cups. What mom-n-dad didn't drink for breakfast went in dad's thermos for his day at work. When they got all fancy and bought a corning-ware percolator, the old one went to the camper. When mom passed away we discovered it under the cabinets and there was great nashing of teeth as to which one of us got it. We ended up drawing straws for it.
ReplyDeleteWho got it Judy?
DeleteYup - My mom had the big glass one. My Gran had the gleaming chromer with the glass knob that was cool too.
My older sister wanted it, bad. My younger sister got it. After she passed away, then, and only, then did the older sister get it. I was administrator to my younger sister estate. I wanted to keep the drama as low as possible. It didn't cost me anything to let the relative that isn't wrapped to tight have it when she ask about it. You know, the old pick-your-battles thing.
DeleteI've grown to like my Keurig. With a filled cup you can buy for your own coffee, the low water setting, and less than a minute, you can have enough caffeine to last for about a half hour.
ReplyDeleteThe little cups are usually in the coffee aisle, and the stainless ones nearly indestructible.
My son and I tent camp a lot. This has unexpectedly become our new best good friend. If I may post a link.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.stanley1913.com/products/classic-travel-mug-french-press-16-oz
VERY interesting...
DeleteInherited my coffee maker from my mother in law. It' s a Krup that makes five cups. She had it for about fifteen years before she died and I have had it now for about twenty. Still works, but my wife says that it looks horrible so I have to hide it when company is around. No way will it be replaced.
ReplyDeleteA subject dear to my heart. My morning routine is much the same. Two cups with the morning noozbath on the computer (got the word from Frank Zappa who liked his newpapers while in the tub), then a dogwalk, followed by that glorious, peaceful third cup.
ReplyDeleteWe have at least a dozen different ways to make it. My wife loves her Keurig (more rant about that in a minute), I use an el-cheapo chinesium clone of a Mr. Coffee, 4 cup model. It's a piece of crap, but for less than ten bucks at Wallyworld, I'll stock a couple more ahead for when it dies. We even have a Coleman percolator that fits over the propane stove. It's slow but reliable and no electric power needed. I still have my mother's antique Proctor-Silex that boils the water into an upper chamber at which point it's pulled off the heat, and the condensing vapor in the lower chamber pulls the good stuff through a strainer. A cupboard full of fwench presses, Melita filters, old camp stove percs, and more that just gather dust.
As for Keurigs, a couple words of caution. Do not let one freeze once it's been used. It is impossible to drain its innards completely, and they are not designed to be repairable--AT ALL. They are complex little beasties inside. I was able to repair ours, but only because I spent a career in small instrument trouble shooting, and that monster took me half a day. They are not designed to be disassembled, only snapped together on an assembly line, and discarded if anything goes bad--no repair parts available. I was able to superglue the cracked manifold that I got out of it, and it works fine once again, but we bring it in from the trailer to the house when there's any threat of freezing.
You had a great coffee post on 7-28-21 with an excellent comment thread as usual. And this glorious post even has a comment detailing a reasonable approximation of Submarine coffee: https://bayourenaissanceman.blogspot.com/2021/07/we-laughed-out-loud.html
I keep telling ya, ya dont know what you are missing. Ge one of these:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.walmart.com/ip/Bialetti-Musa-Stainless-Steel-Stovetop-Espresso-Coffee-Maker-6-Cup/162811062
Espresso? I have never developed a real taste for it...
Deleteone cup is all you need.....
DeleteEspresso? Isn't that the frou-frou version of Navy coffee?
DeleteNorth Americans have misnamed it an espresso maker because the device originated in Italy. Everywhere else it is simply a coffee pot. (Cafetera) In most of Latin America and the Caribbean when you want coffee that's what they use.
DeleteI had one of those blue percs for camping and it worked great.
ReplyDeleteYou need a percolator. You are already programmed for a percolator. All hail the percolator. Here's how you're programmed: https://adaptivecurmudgeon.com/2017/01/27/a-mind-control-coffee-moment/
ReplyDeleteA French press on a Jetboil makes coffee fast. A drip coffee maker running on grid power is idiot proof. But nothing anywhere will make you as happy as a slow percolator heating up over burning wood. Half the fun I have camping is when I'm burning old pallet wood in a folding box to percolate coffee in a big dumb pot. It's heaven... because of mind control.
Resistance is futile.