Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Wednesday, 17 November 2021

A Ramble: National Clean Your Shop Day

What a rip. They have days to celebrate mothers, fathers, secretaries, noggers, queers and other simian identity groups. They get lavished with respect, appreciation and gifts.

Stubfarts get “Clean Your Shop Day”. Fags like M, STxAR, Pete, Quartermain and I will be out in the garage sweeping up the sawdust and metal shavings, putting away tools, organizing the scrap bins, and sorting out our plunder trying to distinguish the trash from the treasure. Half the time nothing gets done because ya find old toys, projects, and artifacts you lost track of, you get side tracked… and another holiday is required to do the stuff you were supposed to do last time, but you ended up goofing off instead of getting anything done.


Don’t forget Movember guys! In this grand celebration of Stubfartdom - we all get to go down to the doctor’s and get a rubber glove up the ass! Being a privileged Stubfart is all about opulence and grandeur. It means we get to bark our knuckles and shins, step on rakes and nails - and bleed. Yesterday in the hardware store I lost 3 gallons of blood. It was all over my hands and I only noticed it when I was pawing through the merchandise. I had a little cut, about an 1/8” long… and I lost half my fluids!  It opened up again in the Reclusium and now it looks like someone slaughtered a hog down there. FFS.

Goddammitandblast: I want a proper identity group celebration. One where we all go down to Cabelas or the Fishin’ Hole or the liquor store … and chimp out! After we we loot the place - burn it down! No - scratch that! After our undocumented shopping spree, we’d go to Snob Hill where the politicians all live and peacefully burn down their neighbourhoods. Defund those cops now, assholes! 😂👍

Of course it’d never work. Fuggin Quartermain would steal a lawn mower, Pete would thieve a push broom, I’d grab one of those sweet little snow blowers with the tank treads… and the place would get cleaned up because nobody can stick to a bloody agenda!

But long ago… stubfarts like us were kings. We built empires that spanned the globe. And we were headed for the stars at one point. I wonder how in hell we actually did it.


  1. Howcumizzit so much blood runs outta such small scratches now? I useta hafta have a good cut to bleed. Now all I need is a wrench in my hand.
    The shop won't be cleaned up today, but some stuff will probably get put up. I have redefined progress as success.

  2. remember to rub on the burnt cork before the conflagration that way you wont be arrested for arson but will be given a pass