Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Friday, 10 December 2021

White Stubfart Priviledge

Back in the Before Times, back when I was kinda-sorta essential and worked for a living, my worst enemy was the cell phone. When that thing went off, 95% of the time there was an idiot on the other end about to dump a load of manure on my plate. And I’d answer that thing because I counted, if I didn’t do it, it wouldn’t get done, I was a team worker with a great work ethic. (What is that horrible stink coming over my blog? Did one a the tards chit himself?)

The closest I come to that today is when B calls. He’s a gas bag that will talk my ear off about BS… but he’s a nice guy. So when the phone lights up and he’s calling in… sometimes I just ignore it and go on with my chores. Other times when it goes off , I’ll shout at the ringing phone, “Go suck a fart!!!!” for old time’s sake and ignore it. That, my friends, is stubfart priviledge! And gawd…it feels good! The cell phone? A useful tool? Who woulda thunk it!!!

But this time I answer it, and try to be a civil friend rather than a grumpy old man. B tells me he just got sent home sick. He has a cough and that scares the other employees that might think he has Covid, and he’ll turn into one of the walking dead any second.

“So let me get this straight, B: It’s definitely NOT Chinkypox?”
B: No, it’s bronchitis.
“And you’ve been jabbed? Twice?
B: Yep.
“And you’ve been tested? Got ya chinkpox passport? And ya still got sent home?”
B: Yeah.
“So…why bother getting jabbed, jabbed again, tested, papered, and tested again if all they’re gonna do is send ya home anyways for a non-contagious condition? What’s the point?
“Well ain’t that a kick in the head…?”

He was one a those guys who believed in the great pandemic and the noble efforts of the Establishment to contain it. Can’t blame him really… he’s an oilfield trucker and those guys aren’t the most academic kind if ya catch my drift. But now he’s home sick with a non-viral case of bronchitis, making a pittance off sick leave. He only gets paid real money if those big wheels are rolling.

The poor bugger is getting clobbered with a double-whammy. His wife runs a maid service, and her last employee walked off the job. I didn’t say anything, but I think it was probably a case of low wages and crappy conditions. So she has the opposite problem: she is working her tail off trying to keep up. It may be me projecting… but with all this time off everywhere… I think a lot of people are re-connecting with their families, re-evaluating consumerism and materialism…and they’ve decided not to knock themselves out trying to pay for it, maybe?

Times are getting real interesting, aren’t they?


  1. After being conditioned to jump when the phone rings for my entire working career, it took some doing, but I learned that if you let it will quit. Eventually.
    Nowadays, with our smartass phones with caller ID and automatic voicemail, there's no need to answer any call I don't feel like dealing with. I have a brother who only turns his phone on twice a day, once in the morning and once again in the evening to look for messages. I've told him how much I admire that.

    1. The smart phone is too useful for me to do that. I have weather and wind apps, my bible, and all the other essential stubfart functions I need. But other than that, I will pick and choose the time to use it too.

  2. The recording on my phone says; "you've reached he number you dialed, leave a message". Throws most callers that don't know me for a loop. The ones that do leave a message are the robo-callers warning me about how the last offer on my student loan is about to expire or the ATT direct TV deal I am missing out on. I don't even know why I bother with the dam thing.
    As for checking out of the rat race, yea we have, and it suits us just fine. Since Annie got canned for not vaxing there's days we don't even step outside the door anymore.

    1. We get very, very few telemarketers on our cells up here, Mike. I think there is a law against it or something. My landline goes all the time though with telemarketers trying to sell me garbage.