Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Saturday, 29 January 2022

Cooking With The Fourth Reich

 At the conclusion of WW2 it was a mad scramble between the Yanks, the Kippers and the Russians to arrest the rocket scientists and engineers that developed the advanced German weapons like the V1 rockets, the jet engines, white underwear for men, and the antigravity time machines. We all know the story of Von Braun and his team.

Us Canadians got their cooks. Teams of top tier nazi gourmets were arrested as they tried to escape a crumbling post war Germany… and covertly smuggled in to Canada. There, they were set up in a secret lab in the hinterlands of northern Morontario. The black ops site was run under an obvious shell company called Kraft. Some of the foods they invented were actually edible like Kraft Dinner. Most though… they were straight out of hell’s kitchens. We are talking about squeezable mystery meats that existed in a semi-gelatinous state somewhere between a liquid and a solid…Ulp… the things they did to cheese… HURK! HURK, HURK, HURK!!! OH GAWD I’M GONNA HURL!!! The horror…the horror…

Then one day… it was all gone. The cooking commercials with nauseating recipes inexplicably stopped. Turdo The Elder gave the press the finger when they demanded answers about the billions of dollars given to the mysterious Kraft Corporation. The black ops site in northern Morontario was bulldozed and any records of it were either destroyed or classified… and the gubbimint disavowed all knowledge of it. 

What happened to the Nazi gourmets and cooks? No one knows. Those of us with the historical expertise to comment are divided. I say they got nabbed by the Scots. Others say the Scandihoovians got them. Our govt continues to say nothing. Perhaps some other country with a reputation for having no taste and awful food got them? Your guess is as good as mine. I am convinced they are all still alive, and conducting fiendish experiments on the stove. Occasionally evidence surfaces to support that theory.

Gott in Himmel!!! Yechchchchht!!! WTF is this!?!?

GAH!  🤮

Tell me, Fraulein Gesundes Essen von Nata …if that’s your real name…? where were you in June of 1945, huh? Ulp… and where did you develop your skills with frankfurters…? 🤢 

I think you folks might just want to move along - especially those of you with weak stomachs and any tendencies toward squeamishness. This interrogation is liable to be long and extremely messy… 


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