Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Sunday, 30 January 2022

Somebody’s Gonna Die

 When their ears flatten and their pupils dilate … you may as well call up the clinic and tell their trauma teams to rustle up an IV drip and a few units of your favourite blood type… and maybe have nurse Aesop standing by with a bed pan. You’re about to be attacked by a Moulinex and you’re going to need them.

I used to torture cats for fun and amusement every day. I’d stretch a smelly sock over their heads then put them down on the ground and laugh as they flipped out and thrashed about trying to shake it off. My other old favourite was to put a strip of masking tape on one of their feet, and then yuck it up as they danced around hysterically on three legs. I pulled their tails, made rude jokes about them and assaulted them purely for sport and entertainment. You might say I was partially responsible for some of my scars. But… the worst cat attacks I ever got was when I was peacefully minding my own business. I’d be relaxing, and out of nowhere some hissing, spitting feline POS would come out of nowhere and cut me a new one for no reason at all. 

I love my dogs… but still miss my horrible cats on occasion. When it’s my time and I have to cross that rainbow bridge to rejoin my absent four legged friends… I will be a dead man in more ways than one.

HAR! 😂👍

Be nice to your cat today or beat him up if that is what he’d prefer.  Have a great Sunday and thanks for dropping in.


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