When I was a kid our society and culture had just gotten serious about tearing itself apart. It was a strange time to be a kid. I remember as a little gaffer…we all had complete modern nuclear families. Then in the space of a couple years, in the early 70s…half my friends saw their parents divorce. During the 70s my own parents had a few barn burners that could have gone the wrong way - I remember hiding behind the junk in the storage room downstairs as mom and dad shouted and battled upstairs. I thought they were going to kill each other. I dunno how their marriage survived. Divorce changed a lot of my friends too. I watched a lot of good kids get into drugs and trouble and become problems they never were before. Divorce was tough on the parents but it was absolutely murder on us kids. I saw a stat kicking around somewhere that said 75% of the criminals currently in jail are the product of single mother families. If my parents had divorced I’d probably be in jail and my big bro would probably be dead! HAR HAR HAR!
Of course nowadays nobody gives divorce a second thought. But back then a lot of us kids regarded divorce with some degree of dread. We used to admit that divorce resulted in broken homes that weren’t good for anyone … but now we aren’t allowed to notice stuff like that because it would make the kids feel bad and their parents feel guilty.
As a kid I’d listen to the music of
my elders and wonder what in hell they were singing about
and why they complicated their lives the way they did.
It all seemed so stupid.
I suppose it is… but whadda I know. Eventually my family broke down too, in ways that can never be fixed. The pain and the hurt goes away and who knows… a “new normal” sets in and maybe the kids straighten out and fly right too. But I understand much of the music from my childhood and maybe understand my parents a bit better too.
I wish I didn’t…but guys like me seldom get a choice in such things.
I graduated high school in 1970. Growing up, I counted six divorces that didn't do the kids any good at all.ReplyDelete
Two families divorced, the father and mother deciding that this married with children business was for the birds. As a result, the leftover parents knew they had kids to raise, and so married so as to give the kids a decent home. Three kids total; two accepted the new family arrangements and were pretty much okay with it. The third, a boy my own age, did not. He started life by not knowing his age at four years old. At five he set fire to the waste basket in kindergarten class - no, I'm not kidding. Later on he told me that he saw a wet towel in the waste can and wondered if it would burn or not, and well, it did.
With another family it was money problems combined with in laws. The kids were not okay with it.
Three more families split up over infidelity, and it was the women who had the hot pants. One man wasn't all that much older than I was, and I had maturity. I helped him through it, including helping him move the furniture. Let me tell you, it taught me a lot. I can still remember the shit hitting the fan while we were moving his half of the furniture out. Kids crying, the old lady playing some kind of appropriate song on the stereo, "Don't sign the papers baby, I want you back". Holy hell.
My own parents stuck together because Mom didn't believe in divorce. Well, I have a younger brother, and he just wouldn't have understood the folks splitting up. I would have understood just fine.
You hang with in there, Glen Filthie. You're a good man, and your wife and child are blessed to have you.
Maybe with the wife, WL? We’ve done alright. But our daughter has her own demons and only she can deal with them. I used to think she was messed up…but good lord. Her ‘life partner’ is a genuine bucket of crazy that will never be right. I won’t have that thing in my house, she’s bad juju… and at some point the kids have to sort themselves out. But thanks for saying so…Delete
I wasn't gonna comment, but I had to share this. It's not a funny subject, but I still laugh a bit about it.ReplyDelete
I was around the age of twelve or thirteen (early 80's) when Mother asked me if she and Daddy were to get divorced..."Who would I choose to stay with?"
I told her that I wasn't making a choice. They stayed together until Daddy passed, and Mother has not re-married. She's 94 now.
Things are perplexing to me. I have witnessed an array of situations with people I went to high school with, (both male and female), that one would never expect to see. I'm not judging, but perhaps things that you might never expect, happen to the people you'd never expect it to happen to...Dang..
I agree that Glen is a good Man/Stubfart, and I really enjoy this blog. That's my 1.03 cents worth. I wanted to give 2 cents worth, but I had to adjust for inflayshun. Y'all try and have a wonderful day/night, and God bless
I don’t get it BB. We live in evil times…Delete
Yes sir, lots of those old school songs I grew up with make a lot more sense now. Just like when I started to understand the adult "between the lines" of Looney Tunes.... eye opening!ReplyDelete
I wonder sometimes if there are just unanswerable questions... You see the mental mess of the inlaws... some how it skips your wife, but hits your kid. Maybe? My inlaws have their brand of crazy. I thought my wife escaped, silly me, and I see bits of that in my kids too. Mix in my brand of crazy, and it's a wonder the kids can feed themselves.... Plenty of room for God's Grace!
At times, I feel like a zoo animal, looking at all the weirdos wandering in front of my cage, and wondering what would possess them to do what they do and act like they act.
What a ride! I wonder if ancient 'fill in the blank' was any different?
It’s the damndest thing, STxAR. Perhaps I misspoke? In any given situation I can tell you - with some degree of certainty - what those animals will do. What can’t figure out is…why?Delete
God’s grace? Maybe, at some point, I hope. Who knows - for now that is something only He can sort out…
When I was a tyke and everything fell apart , the rule was "What happens in this house stays here". So as rotten as things were I never talked about the folks always arguing , and fighting and the divorce to anyone. just kept it all in. I bet lots of kids went through the same misery but nobody knew . Because What happens here stays here !!ReplyDelete