Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Thursday, 31 March 2022

Spiritual Journeys And Destinations

I figure I will have my Last Supper with the Naughty Nurses at the
Heart Attack Grille. I will eat a Quadruple Bypass and then have The Big One.
Then my spirit will find itself here.

Sinners like Pete and Cederq will be eternally flipping the burgs 
and will never be able to go off shift, even
for a break. The worthy and pure souls (like Yours Truly)
will never have to pay, can eat as much as they like,
and never get fat, never know heartburn, constipation or indigestion.
The shake and ice cream machines will never be
out of order.

Echoes Of Ghosts And The Warmth Of Wood


 One can always make rude jokes about sending women back to the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. But the hell of it is that it’s up to us fellas to make sure they have a proper kitchen worth going back to… and the provisions to keep them busy and occupied once they’re there. Most modern kitchens, with their microwaves, automatic coffee makers, electric dishwashers and other appliances are good for little more than MRE’s and frozen processed foods that will kill the soul and break the heart. 

For couples seeking to make changes and redeem themselves…the kitchen might be the place to start. A good kitchen has room for meetings, must have a good view, and be easy to clean, and be a place where people actually want to be. 

Poetry In Motion


The spark plugs are gone; there’s no fire inside 
Her pistons long idle, her spirit has died 
She rusts in dishonor, not even a grave 
In reward for the service she gave 

In a field back of nowhere, abandoned, alone 
Been robbed of the seat that was used as a throne 
No one to sing to the song of the gears 
Everything’s gone with the years… 

In her prime she could plow fifteen acres a day 
The binder in fall was considered as play 
With full tanks she’d boldly strike out at the dawn 
Be there until last light had gone. 

One way or harrows, she didn’t much care 
The belt pull of harvest when fall’s in the air 
Her real work, revealing what lay below ground 
Each new year when spring rolled around 

Stubfart Fashion Police?!?!

 I know, right?

‘Stubfart’ and ‘fashion’ are two mutually exclusive terms. Ordinarily we’re doing good if we make it out the door with our pants on…and hip waders will do in a pinch for formal occasions.

But the internet is literally the library of Alexandria, and all stubfart legend and lore is only a click of a mouse away. Today we’re gonna larn ya all about the humble boonie hat.

That point about metal fittings on hats is an especially good one. Those things are instant kill buttons if you get one of those two-knuckle peckerhead nougats to the noggin from an angry retard or an ornery old bastid.

Make your modifications early, gents. The snow is melting fast, and soon we’ll be trading our toques for our summer head gear. 

I’m looking for a replacement lid… if any of you can recommend a good boonie or slouch hat, please let me know. 

Wednesday, 30 March 2022

So… What DO They Do With All Those Boobs?

 I’m tellin’ ya’s all… I need an intervention! My name is Glen Filthie, and I am addicted to the social media machine. No, not Facecack or Twatter… I’m addicted to Blab!!! Sob! I apologize to everyone I’ve hurt by hanging out with those wanks, but I can’t help it!!! I just keep going back for more!!! And MOAR!!!

So … what do they do with all those discarded boobs? And… has anyone seen Quartermain? 

Sleep tight tonight, you princes of Persia, you pirates of Penzance.


Oh Dear Gawd

 It’s okay, Filthie!!! General Aesop and the ladies have everything in hand!!! Stop gobbling in fright, you’ll be okay!!! Get Cederq to slap some self control into ya!!! Just don’t anybody panic!!!!!


Did that gal almost lose her arm? What kind of tank is that???

Holy chit, eh? I am no armoured cav expert… but cripes on a cracker! I hate to say it, but … this is what women in combat is going to look like. When I did my chit house study of modern armoured combat, reloading speed was a big deal for the armoured cav guys. One slowpoke… and your 60 million dollar tank and its crew are a burnt pile of scrap and guts.

Most of the Russian armoured losses in the Ukraine so far seems to be the old BMP2’s… which aren’t really main battle tanks in this day and age. But if you put a gaggle of women into an M1 Abrams main battle tank…and put it up against Russkies in an obsolete beater… I’ll put my money on the Russian BMP2’s. Ivan will send your power girls home in a pail…assuming there is anything left of them to scoop up…

Here is what the heavy metal quick draw is supposed to look like. We’re obviously dealing with two different types of tank, here. The gal in the first vid has to lift the shell from the floor and feed the cannon, while the fellas below just have to pass it over and ram it home. Even so, the guys below are going to be much more formidable than a tank crew of females.

I want General Milley’s  head on a spike. Or better yet - fire him out of a canon…

Great Shot, Mr. President!

 I guess Donald was out golfing with rich and powerful knobs like WL Emery, Cederq and Quartermain.


Good work, men!

An Official Apology From Comrade Misfit

I knew she’d come crawling back. *Ahem!*

Dear Filthie,

I am sincerely sorry for all the rotten things I said about you in the past. It turns out that you were 100% right about the sordid Russian/Ukrainian affair, and I was entirely wrong. It turns out that indeed, Putin wants a deal far more than he wants a fight! 

 Blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda...

For those of you that can skip the stench splendour of American Communism and Perversion... the article of interest is here. Putin is applying the old 'carrot and stick' means of influence: The Ukes can behave themselves, come to the table and talk like civilized adults, and talk to nice Vlaidimir... or they can be arseholes, escalate the fight and try to deal with bad Vladimir. Of course, morons and poseurs like Aesop and Misfit are too dumb to see any of this. But... if you were Ukranian with boots on the ground, and skin in the game... you'd be seeing a pattern emerging here.

From here on out it's all just pawns on a chessboard. Putin wants an enforced neutrality for the Ukraine, and end to Ukranian piracy in the oil and gas markets, and NATO off his grass. None of this is unreasonable, and like it or not - the west is going to deal and no bones about it. Globohomo Inc. is going to take it in the shorts - which is why Misfit and the flimps at the NYT are making up hysterical stories about rape and pillage. There is no doubt that some of that is going on - there always are is in these things. And of course, it plays well to the 400 lb. landwhales, rage headed she-twinks and the obese blue haired pussy hat types. It's weird, isn't it? The howling uglies that are so awful and unattractive that they will NEVER be raped... are the ones most concerned about it. They were the ones that shrieked the loudest at Donald Trump's alleged pussy-grabbing. Those landwhales are consumed with rage about rape. It seems to be part and parcel of the hysteria that holds 1/4 of American women enthralled today. Uncle Bob and the men of the manosphere had them figured out - I will not obsess about them here.

The only question now is - what will the West's surrender terms be? Of course they will wrap this up and sign a deal and try and spin it as a victory and it will work on the rubes like Misfit and Aesop. But... how much of the captured land will Putin keep? And what about Zelensky? In Vlad's shoes, I'd hold onto those lands until I knew that Globohomo was dealing from the top of the deck and on the up and square. Zelensky has to die, of course. He will be allowed to flee to one of his four mansions in other countries. The KGB or one of the other clandestine groups can get him later.

The problem here is that our western elites don't know how to deal with a real adversary. It doesn't help that Biden is senile of course... but Putin could snap his fingers and Hillary and Bill would commit suicide the next day. The day after that, Hunter Biden would be found with his head pushed down a toilet and a nine inch log driven up his arse. Putin can and will use the exact same tactics Globo homo has used on guys like JFK, Epstein and countless other smaller fish.  That is where the real drama of all this is - and not in the fevered rape fantasies of some sexually disturbed crotch warrior.


Oh The Monkey wrapped his tail

Around the flag pole!

And he showed all the people 

his ass hole!

Everyone! Sing along!

Y'now... I should be a Russian oligarch. I'd be damned good at it. I'd sent my arch enemies like Pete and STxAR to the gulag for all the rotten jokes they keep cracking on my blog. I'd put Misfit in a skimpy bikini and on a chain and drag her around like Java The Hut. Justin Turdo and Joe Biden would fight with swords and shields at the newly created Special Olympics Gladitorial Games.

For The Fans Of Mr. Ed

Gun like that deserves adjustable sights though…

Fake, Gay And Black


I’m just shocked. People were STILL having pitched debates about The Great Bitch Slap all over the innernet the other day. My first reaction on seeing it was laughter. Just niggers being niggers. Yes, I said it. The N-word. Yes, I know that in this world it’s a bigger sin to be called a nigger than it is to act like one. I get slapped out by self righteous prigs every day, HAR HAR HAR! Whatever. It is what it is. My second thought was that it was all fake. Last I saw the Academy awards and Oscars ratings were down 40% from three years ago. Odds are even that this was just another scripted publicity stunt. Whatever it was…it worked. These award ceremonies were always too white… and now they at least have diversity. People will toon back in to the Oscars because of this. I dunno what’s funnier… the stupidity of the stunt… or the fact that it worked. People will toon in, be lectured by a sanctimonious group of limousine liberals, pedophiles, drug addicts, and homosexuals on matters of politics and social moralities.

Hollywood is now fake, gay… and black. When it comes to Hollywood they can have it, as far as I’m concerned. That industry and town was whored out and became a parody of itself long ago. Problem is that they’re doing the same to Washington DC!

Well I guess John Wayne will get replaced by a clown like Will Smith, our judges will be replaced by clowns like Kunta Kinti Brown Jackson. Up here in Canada, I will be replaced by Haroon The Baboon or Ganjeet The Pajeet!  Clown World promises to be a silly and colourful place, if nothing else.

Role Models


Tuesday, 29 March 2022

I, For One, Will Welcome Our New Russian Overlords…πŸ˜‚πŸ‘


1. Queerbec

2. Morontario

3. Newfoundland 

And, as a gesture of good will:

4. Hongcouver

Of course, much like the Ukraine, they’d all have to be ethnically cleansed and vacuumed…


Flyin’ Low


Errrrr… that’s a nice bit a pin up art, eh? But that’s not what I want to address here.

When ya get to be an old stubfart like me…garment failures become a big problem. Your socks don’t match, your rubber boots leak, and your drawers take on horrible odours and stains….and your fly never stays zipped. If you’re not careful, you find yourself flying low and one a two things happens: your junk falls out, scares the women folk and if the cops catch up to you…it’s 30 days in the can! Or, your pants end up down around your ankles and ya find yourself doing The Toddler’s Sprint. Here’s a stubfart pro-tip to prevent all that!

This has to be done with caution. Ya don’t want to drink too much coffee or beer, leave your business to the last second and then be scrabbling like mad in the outhouse trying to ‘bail out’.  Leave yourself plenty of time with this. Panic and haste can be a big issue with this form of fly retention. Some a you with more advanced retardation might want to go to a bigger clevis pin, maybe…

Remember to put on your pants this morn, men! And to take precautions if your carrharts tend to fly low on ya. Have a great Tuesday!

Good Ol’ JFK…


I don’t care what anyone says. That guy was taken out
by a pro. 
Who’da thunk that retards would one day
rule the world?

Monday, 28 March 2022

Mechanical Contrivances


What would that thing cost today? The brass, the enameled metal… the precision fitment… 

Back when I was essential enough to have a reasonable job, the CEO of our family run business was Jim Sr. He was a Canadian paratrooper that found his way behind enemy lines, pushing the German lines from behind while the squaddies hit the beach on D-Day and pounded them from the front. And back when he was essential to the company… he did all his business on an electric type writer.

We kept an old beater electric out in the Edmonton office for his exclusive use when he came out to visit a couple times a year. The Crack or I would give him one of our desks, set that beast up on it…and the old bastard would make that thing run like a machine gun. One day it died, and we promised to get it fixed for him… but it was just impossible. Jim Sr’s electric was every bit as obsolete as the mechanical in the top pic.

As the supposed manager of our branch, it fell to The Crack to inform Jim that his beloved typewriter had had the bun. The old dragon flipped out, and started ripping The Crack a new one and flogging the messenger. At first I enjoyed it… but as the reaming continued I finally stepped in. I told him we’d made every effort to get it fixed, The Crack wasn’t at fault… but these things were obsolete and not part of business life anymore. We might be able to get a used one off Kajiji or flea bay…but if it ever had problems we’d be stuck the same way we were with the old one.

That fella was tough as nails but I could see he was deeply hurt and the reality of it had hit him hard. He’d just turned 90…and at that age little things become big things. I had stashed the old one out in the shop and asked him if he wanted me to throw it out or ship it back to Montreal…maybe they had some antiquarians that could patch it up there?

All three of us went out together and unceremoniously threw it in the blue dumpster. Jim and I bummed a smoke of The Crack and shared a moment. It was the damnedest thing - usually we were all at each other’s throats and driving each other crazy… but for a few moments we were all just a couple of bums having a smoke like regular friends. Jim Sr had just turned 90 at the time, and was feeling his age.

I suppose we felt it too, and for awhile, we shared in it with him.

The Ukranians Just Lost The War

Watch the vids. This is the way the squaddies roll in that part of the world. Don't watch it if you're squeamish. I predicted this, of course. Russians (and Ukes) are not westerners, and their warriors are WARRIORS. America still has a few, but Globohomo Inc has boiled most of them off and replaced them with...welp, the less said about that the better I suppose. Suffice it to say, Americans and foreigners that go to fight and die for the Ukraine are liable to come back home again in a 5 gallon pail.

The Russians will retaliate in kind, guaranteed. Odds are they will escalate. You can bet the mass media WILL show that (or fake it, if they can't actually get real footage). I have no dog in that fight… but seeing that makes my blood boil. Can you imagine what that’s going to do to the Russkies? They are gonna flip! 

It’s so classically American. Go into a part of the world, make the wrong friends with the wrong people, give them the latest and greatest weapons, and then scratch their heads in wonder as the blood flows, and their former allies turn on them. We've learned nothing in the last 20 years. 

Will that happen here? The mind wobbles. Afghanistan was a 20 year fustercluck that just recently ended in a complete route and debacle. That was less than 6 months ago. Now they want to start a war with Russia…? With a senile president and a military riddled faggots, affirmative action flunkies, and women?

The Ukes just set the course for the rest of the war. They are going to get what they deserve, and we may very well get it too.

The moral here is ... choose your friends wisely. 

But whadda I know?

Stealth Campers


Someone needs to tell this little fella that 
stealth camping in the middle of gopher town is NOT a good idea!

I hope y’all got your .22s and varmint rigs dialled in?



Russian Economic Recovery To Exceed All Expectations


Given this idiot’s record with the American economy,
things are looking up for the Russians…




If these monkeys had any sense of propriety 
or class, a formal challenge would be issued, seconds would be named…
and it’d be Glock 9mm’s in the morn!

But I suppose it’s all prolly fake, done
for ratings.

Long ago, back in the Before Times, back before the negroes, the homosexuals, marxists, and other cultural floatsam of our day… the Oscars were a big deal. People actually looked forward to them and set aside time to watch them. The women were demure and elegant, the men were gallant and dapper - and Hollywood still had things to celebrate in itself. It might have all been a faΓ§ade… but at least they put it on.

Sunday, 27 March 2022

Is There A Natural Order To Things?

 My wife and I grew up in neoliberal hive mind families. They’d huff and puff at a pic like this. The women would screech with rage if I pointed out the fact that most unhappy modern women are the authors of their own misery… and that of their families as well, come to think of it. The new family structures don’t work, by and large, and are unnatural.

Look at the blacks in Africa - and America, for that matter. Africa is full of third world chitholes now. Many are so bad, you could make the case that everyone including the blacks, were better off under apartheid. Blacks cannot govern, when they do the result is inevitably poverty and squalor. Putting them in charge of complicated and intricate organizations is not a natural state of affairs. That black boon vying for a spot in the Supreme Court can’t tell the difference between a man and a woman.

As their failures mount and pile up, these people just keep getting angrier and crazier. You can’t walk away either, if you do they have to come after you. Appeasement seems to be the order of our day. Don’t start a fight, agree with whatever shite they’re spouting and hope they shut up. But the noise and clamour just increases in volume. There’s always ‘the next big thing’ and it’s always faker and gayer than the last. Pedos sexualize and groom kids in public schools. Guys compete in womens sport and win. Women organize and protest for the right to murder their own babies. A flu virus inflicts an imaginary pandemic and becomes an angry vengeful fake god.

People say this is the new natural way of things. I suppose it is, if mental illness can be considered a natural thing.

I hope your Sunday is uncluttered with the new natural way of things, and that all is well in your circle. I hope there remains a semblance of order in your life. Have a great Sunday and thanks for dropping in.

The Filthie Gourmet: Squab Soup


Couple a cuties, eh?
Anyhoo… while Quartermain knocks their heads off, I will
prepare the other ingredients!
Don’t forget to pluck them!

I spiced this one up with extra caterpillars!
Follow me for 
more great recipes?

King Of The 1911s


There’s a couple of high end makers of the 1911 out there. Ed Brown is one, Wilson Combat is another…but my favourite is made by Les Baer. Some of the models he makes come with an accuracy guarantee of 3” at 50 yards. These Gus are not just safe queens; they are built to shoot


Saturday, 26 March 2022

It’s Official: From The War Department - Victory In The Ukraine

 Why can’t we all just admit the Ukraine is winning? Hmmmmmm. Eliot Cohen seems to be the typical chattering skull that these pretentious shitlibs seem to hire when they need a credentialed idiot to push a narrative or agenda.

The Guardian is pumping flat out BS and (as usual) isn’t even trying to be objective. 

Vox seems to be oddly out of step with the Establishment rag sheets.  They know who the bad guys are, at least, and they boo and hiss and throw rotten vegetables at the actors on stage. Unlike the other two, this rag sheet does seem to have a grasp on Russian military doctrine and at least some sense of what is going to come next. 

The usual rubbish from the usual suspects. Probably written from a posh bar in London… or a gay bath house. Never assume anything with those guys.

You-know-who and his glee club are hearing the fat lady sing.

Ya never know with these things. But… I am seeing the same gaggle of liars and morons marching in lockstep as the ones that pushed the Covid scare, and then the vaccine scam. That alone sets off my spider senses. These are the guys that accused Trump f colluding with the Russians for four years and never found anything. When they couldn’t lie about Covid anymore they started lying about this.

Then there are other tells too. The panicked mass exodus of civilians. The botched propaganda efforts. In the pictures, the hopeless civilians. You can tell by looking at them that they’re beat already. They’re wondering why this is happening, and why God and their leaders abandoned them. This is not what victory looks like. From what I know, everything looks like standard Russian procedure; complete with operational pauses, unexpected delays and the usual foul ups that reign on any battlefield. Putin is clearly operating with thought and restraint..

For me… I don’t trust any of the experts anymore. I’ve been lied to too many times, the shitlibs and their cucks have been wrong (and drastically wrong) for far too long. We know Putin wants a deal. He wants a mutually enforced neutrality for the Ukraine. He wants an end to Zelensky’s leadership that plays fast and loose with trade agreements and whose corruption costs Russia 12 billion dollars a year. These are not unreasonable demands.

Putin is not a nice guy. He will send Russian kids in to fight and die to get what he wants. At least he is honest about it… unlike Biden and Zelensky, who will happily spend your kid’s lives so their own can live a life of opulence and debauchery. 

I dunno what is more depressing: the needlessness of it… or the staggeringly stupid people that insist all this is necessary.

I’m seeing these everywhere. Then I think of those blasted neighborhoods, the refugees… This shit matters. 

The little chapel out in the country is all in for the Ukraine too. They have a sister church over there, where the Ukes turned their church into a sanctuary. The local members and preppers there contribute food and supplies and stay behind with those that can’t leave…while Biden eats pizza with the 82nd airborne … and the squaddies can barely conceal their contempt. The media slobs and the public don’t even notice stuff like that, though, because…ewwwww! Icky Christians!!!

My world turned upside down about 10 years ago. My family went nuts and started trying to tear itself apart. Nobody won, everyone lost, and no one gave a shit. At one point, all I could do is just throw it all at God and pray that He could sort it out. People involved with it were throwing shots without having the slightest clue about what they were fighting about, never mind the consequences.

It’s the same thing here. Everyone had the library of Alexandria at their fingertips, with the sum knowledge of man a click of the mouse away. Yet they’d rather be ‘informed’ by the mass media. In the modern world, what you don’t know can kill you or get others killed.

All you can do is let it run its course I guess.

Coffee’s On!


 These damn things look like they’re gonna turn into fiendish battle robots and start shooting. Who’s designing these things? Hasbro? Mattel? Fisher Price?

Oh yeah…that’s better…πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘

And - I’ll Do It From 12 Feet Away!



Friday, 25 March 2022

Ol’ Slabsides Speaks


Bobby’s Dad

 When I was a kid Bobby’s dad had the world’s biggest HAM radio set up. It took up his entire garage and he was a big wheel in the ham radio community. He became a fount of difficult-to-find vacuum tubes and oddball parts. Those guys would blow their weekends on recreational global conference calls without paying a cent in long distance fees. In fact, he became a designated communications node for the Canadian military. If the nation ever went to war, the radio shack would become gubbimint property, and Bobby’s dad would become the designated operator. He had a small fortune invested and I wouldn’t be surprised if the gubbimint wasn’t footing some of his operating costs too. The antenna farm was impressive too.

Of course now the ham radio guys are all gone and for the most part, they’re as obsolete as buggy whips. Who needs ham radio nowadays? I can hassle anyone silly enough to read this blog anywhere around the world.

I am not an AV guy. I started sniffing around the idea of long range drones but there’s a lot of radio science in that and I never followed up with it. Now… I am seeing these things everywhere:

They’re on sale through Amazon here:

Pete F says ya want HF radio… but that’s only line of sight, isn’t it? The other point he made is that UHF can be easily tracked and traced. I’m told that the gubbimint is damned serious about that too; those freqs are usually close to those designated for military, law enforcement, and emergency guys and they are damned picky about who gets to use them. Non-licensed operators regularly get tracked down and fined.

Baofeng used to make a hand held unit that would transmit on those freqs but the govt shut down their sales in Canada and wanted only licensed operators to be able to buy them. Now it seems we can buy these cheap hand-held jobbies again. Do these things make sense to the prepper? 


Crazy Ivan And The Fog Of War



Well I guess that explains the relative silence from the Russians. I pride myself on my fact checking and double checking my info as much as I can - and I readily admit I still get burned from time to time. But this seems to be a 'thing'. The internet warriors in the Ukraine post up pics of themselves heroically facing down the Russian Bear - and Crazy Ivan sees their pics, figures out where they are - and the cruise missiles are on the way while Rainbow 6 is checking the phones and waiting for the likes and upvotes to come flooding in on their social media.

A Suggested Detour On The Way To Work…


Help Yourselves, Men…


Sorry about the calibre…

From Quartermain’s Comic Book Stash


If I was a superhero today, I’d do it the exact same 
way as I did when I was a kid!

I’d pin on one of mom’s tea towels with safety pins.
Might get some black high top canvas runners …
the ones with the big white rubber circle on the ankle too.

All the girls’d get bare bummers,
and the retards’d get boiled in acid, pushed out of helicopters,
or squashed in giant waffle-makers.

Beware evil doers!!!
F Man is watching you!!!

The Ghosts Of Futurians Past


There’s a couple of these up at Blab. 

I tend to be guarded with my predictions now. I’ve seen goofs like Aesop and Styx Hexenhammer on OyTube make predictions on the future that are nowhere close to being accurate, so they just lie about it afterward, or lie about “what they really said” and don’t think anyone is smart enough to notice.


Back when the queers were coming out of the closet I predicted mass censorship and gaslighting by the media. Mind you - I missed the boat on the muzzies and jihadies and the other turdies in the sandbox countries. I’d predicted they’d have fabricated nukes or some other WMD and used it by now. Mind you, I DID predict an event like 911 in roughly the correct time period. Mind you, if that was an inside job (and there is plausible evidence for it) - I suppose I might a been full a beans on that too…

What will the future look like? To even make a guess, you have to have some idea of what the past looked like, or even the present. Ask the average neoliberal about the Trump years. Or even about the present:

Y’know… nowadays I’m doing good if I know what day it is, and what planet I’m on. Is the world the neoliberals want actually so bad? Imagine a world where you could shit your pants, hide in the basement and eat ice cream - and be hailed as a world hero! 

Would that be so bad?

Thursday, 24 March 2022

From Russia, With Love


Only A Biologist Can Tell The Difference Between Men And Women


The wanks on Blab are saying that this worm tongue 
has been proven to be a pedo enabler and an affirmative action flunky, proven incompetent…
And that the conservatives will confirm her position on the Supreme
Court anyway. 

It’s all kabuki theatre at this point, I suppose,
and not worth getting pissed about.

Filthicus: From The Cloaca Maxima