Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Tuesday, 31 May 2022

Death By SAMMICH

 


Oh merciful God, please kill me now….groan…


Welp, today I tried my hand at sammich artistry. I haven’t had an egg salad sammich in 100 years and so I went on the innernet and learnt how to hard boil eggs and peel them, and I tried the recipe from this cute little lady…


The Rural Thunderbox extends greetings and salutations 
to the Suburban Soap Box!
I expect the courts to have a restraining order for me shortly!
HAR HAR HAR!
😉

Oh gawd, I grabbed some special whole grain brown bread with all kinds of seeds in it, mixed up a batch and made three sammiches with the idea of saving one for the wife’s lunch tomorrow. Only I lost control of myself and gobbled the lot… and now I can’t move! I’m gonna have to apologize for all the rotten stuff I said to STxAR… and hope he can use that VFD he got and jury rig a peristaltic stomach pump for me…

The recipe is good… but it needs something. I put on extra salt and pepper but forgot the onion powder. It still needed something to bark it up a bit. Would ya dice in half a pickle, maybe? I dunno, it just seemed kind of plain. If you are an elite chef like me…feel free to leave your tips in the comments below.

 UPDATE:




Retard Class Film Time

 


Quiet, everyone! Settle down….. Quartermain, stop beating up Jack….!!! Quiet, please…. If I could have your attention….

I SAID QUIET, YOU IGNORANT LITTLE BASTARDS!!!!

Who threw that? Cederq, you little shit! I saw that!!! Pete!!! Stop that!!!

It’s film time here at Uncle Bob’s School For Wayward Boys N’ Retards, and if I can get these buggerdly little sewer goblins to sit still - maybe I can larn ‘em something…? Y’know what? Screw it! After the film I am going to talk to the authorities about these kids. I think they’re all the wrong gender and need to be transitioned into girls! HAR! In the meantime, I think I’ll put the film on, and then slip out for a cigar and a nip at my flask. Enjoy the film kids - and behave yourselves while I’m gone! Get the lights, Pete?



If I am not back in an hour, someone come and wake me up!
For my students that eat glue…please avoid nostril
and eyelid bonding while I’m gone!



Vibrant Treat-Of-The-Week

 HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!! HAR HAR HAR!!! Thanks for that, Anonymous! I saw that on Blab last night and almost laughed myself to death then too! Does anybody know what set the she-boon off? I wonder how often stuff like this happens?

Couple years ago I was in one of the motor pools at CFB Aaaaaaaadmontin on a sales call. The shop foreman was this muscular little man that was as broad across the shoulders as he was tall…he shoulda been square! I was in the waiting area and he gave me that nod that said “I’ll be right with ya!” as he chatted with some chaps in his office. The door to his office was wide open. Somebody had a bee in their bonnet about something. The Seargent listened attentively and finally tried to shoo the men out, saying he had an appointment with me, and they’d talk later. They were about to leave, and I stood to go in…when this slim, 5’ 0” tall elderly woman walked into my back. I am a portly man, and she was small and thin as a rail, and bounced off and into a wall. “MOVE IT!” she barked. I laughed and tried to apologize but then she was on the shop foreman. Turned out she was a colonel…and lord, was she PISSED. “Why do I have two tracked vehicles down when they should be in your shop RIGHT NOW being serviced, Seargent?” she demanded hotly.

The Seargent wasn’t intimidated in the least. “These men just returned from yard. They just got back from there. The CO said it was too cold out to sweep the snow off and start them up, and that she would reschedule with us later -”

“Get her on the line and put her on speaker, Seargent.” she said. She was in a state of pure fury. The woman came on the line - and the two of them had a bloody hissy fit! It turned into a bitch-fight right off Jerry Springer. The Seargent sat, stone faced, as the women screeched and cursed each other. Silently, the Seargent dismissed his mechanics. Both filed out with carefully controlled expressions on their faces. I was smirking rudely outside the office as the drama raged. The volume increased, the “colonel” was almost in tears now…

In the background I caught the Seargent’s attention, gestured silently at my watch. I pantomimed the telephone and mouthed silently, “Call ya later?” The Seargent nodded curtly and I started packing up my stuff to leave. The Colonel turned her wrath on the Seargent. She bitched with that nagging, shrewish, accusing tone that some women have… “why did you not inform me about this earlier, Seargent?” 

As I walked out I heard the Seargent respond patiently, “My men and I have no place in this disagreement, Colonel. The Major gave my men a lawful order, we assumed it was valid and obeyed it. If you are going to accuse us of misconduct, I’m afraid I will have to involve my own CO…”

“Get him on the line!” she screamed.

I got my gear and papers together, and fled. Later I was able to make my pitch and tee up the product trial, but nothing ever came of it. But the experience taught me that in matters military… Canada is true, North, strong and free!

😂👍





Well Here We Go…

 I’m sorry everyone. But I’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed. I am so damned mad that I even pooped in the comments over at TB’s. All he did was write a well meaning poast about leading by example. TB is a good guy prone to preaching… but he walks what he talks. Up here in Canada right now…it’s the wrong message to the wrong guy at the wrong time.

Yesterday Justin Trudeau and his liberals suspended the sale of handguns and they’re clearly moving toward a ban. I oppose him; I see a clear relationship between citizen ownership of guns, and the level of freedom and responsibility from onerous govts. I am an avid shooter. All my life, shitlibs tell me that I am the source of gun crime, not the criminals actually doing the crime. Usually I get some nonsense about how society failed our criminals.

Justin Trudeau is literally the most unpopular prime minister in Canadian history, winning with just 34% of the last popular vote. The previous record to that was set, by himself, in his first term when he got 36%. He is held in contempt at home and internationally for his childishness, stupidity and narcissism. During the Covid crisis he fomented the truckers rebellion and got so frightened by actual working, hurting Canadians voicing their concerns - that he ran and went in to hiding for several days. When he finally summoned the courage that the french are famous for, he came out of hiding, accused all working Canadians of being fringe lunatics, racists and nazis. Abusing emergency war measures legislation, he froze the bank accounts of people he didn’t like, claiming that the truckers revolt was being illegally funded by creepy republicans and conservatives in the US. He dispatched mounted horsemen to confront demonstrators and an old lady on a walker got stomped. The cops responsible bragged about it on social media the next day.

It’s tempting to get mad at Trudeau. But… his father was a bisexual faggot. His mother was literally a bipolar whore. It’s a matter of public record. He wasn’t raised right, and has been surrounded by clowns, socialists, and commies all his life. He’s never held a real job. From what I’ve read, there will be no consequences for him either. When he finally gets voated out, I’m told he has a fake job at the UN waiting for him. Under his leadership, I am watching my retirement savings evaporate through inflation. Justin has joked about demographically replacing me and my people in Alberta with wonderful vibrant people from the third world, and moved toward it. All this is just the tip of the iceberg of what’s wrong with him as a leader.

Now I’m being told by this man and his team to do the patriotic thing, hand my guns in and trust my govt and cops to care for my safety and welfare. 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Trudeau wasn’t raised right. He’s not that bright. I get the impression that given better parents and people in life, he might have been a good kid, if maybe a little dull and slow. But he is what he is. I could lapse into a reasoned lecture about the failures of gun control and how it failed wherever it was tried. How crime inevitably rises when populations disarm, how awful tyrants and homicidal govts throughout history disarmed their people and went on to murder them in the thousands and even millions. We all know the ins and outs of gun control. The gunnies argue reason and common sense, the shitlibs respond with emotion, hysteria and deceit. We’ve been talking about this for 20 years. Eventually there is no point. It’s time to stop talking.

Have a great Monday morn, everyone.

God bless.

Filthie



Monday, 30 May 2022

Gone Fishin’

 




Vets and sometimes the families they leave behind have a nasty way of falling off the radar
and slipping through the cracks.

If you have any in your neck of the woods, reach out to
them and stand by them if they need it.
It’s not your day up here in Canada…but you have friends and fans here
all the same.

May your day be one of peaceful and fond remembrance.

The Filthie Gun Nerd…

 


I have always loved this little Walter ever since I saw Agent 007 with his. I’ve heard from the trivia geeks that Bond was forced by the management to carry it, and that his preference was actually for the little Berrettas. It’s plausible I suppose - I’ve heard that even with the diminutive 32 ACP chambering… they are rude little pistols to shoot, and the sights are crappy. 

I don’t care, I am old, rude and have crappy sight too…so if I needed a pocket pistol I’d be hard pressed to pass it up. These guns have soul… which is a commodity virtually ignored y modern makers today.

And So It Was…

 


…that the Thunderbox became unholy in the sight 
and smell of the Lord,
And He slew all therein and without;
and scoured the Earth upon which it stood
With fire and brimstone. And after His wrath, only the stench
Of the Sin remained as a warning to those
that may foolishly sin likewise.
Amen.

-Bogaloonians 9:11

Sunday, 29 May 2022

Have Things Truly Gotten That Bad?


 

I couldn’t believe my Mom. She came by today but I had to insist that she leave immediately. The wife and I are getting over a very nasty cold/flu and I told Mom it was probably the Monkey Pox and that I probly caught it from My simian father. She laughed and said it was probably just Covid or the common flu! I didn’t want her catching it at her age, and she agreed that it made sense.

Earlier in the year I was banished from her wonderful glorious presence because I refused to take my vaccines. She was a maskhole and a dedicated Covid Karen and no bones about it. It’s the damnedest thing… she has been going bat shit crazy for the last several years…but she seems to be making a lot of sense of late. So many of the triple vaxxed old folks around here caught Covid and may be seeing through the scam… finally? Who knows?

In any event… mom has been an absolute pleasure to deal with lately… and I should be thankful but unfortunately… I am suspicious. 

😂👍

Waiting For Some Friends To Show Up


 

I Want It!!!!


Oh please, let this be real and not some movie prop!
First thing I’d do is take it to Polimath and have him reload for it.
The magnum would be a cake walk…but he’d rip his hair out by the
roots figuring out the grenade launcher…
😆👍

Rocky Sunday Start

 Well my morning was ... interesting. My poor dawg Macey collapsed over her cookie this morn, and gave me the scare of my life. She started thrashing around and whining and I thought she was having The Big One. We have laminate floors that are slippery and she couldn't get her footing to get up. I just laid down on the floor beside her, grabbed her up with a big hug and calmed her down and petted her until she settled down. I have no idea what her problem was... maybe she just had a senior's moment and forgot how her legs worked. At length we got up as if nothing had happened. She went and stole Mort's treat and went into her crate to eat it - so it was back to business as usual.

I have been convinced, for the past two years, that she is gonna die any day now. She falls down stairs. She falls up them. She doesn't walk much anymore and when she does, she is just bagged afterward. Been like that for two years now, and I am beginning to think I am going to die and go to hell and she will inherit my vast estate and fortunes! 

I started doing my clean up chores for the day and happened by this wonderful podcast by Jordan Petersen. I love this guy - he is a classical liberal and is a fossil left over from the days when you could still talk to liberals and debate with them without having to go to war with them. Here he interviews Pierre Poilievre - who is running to lead the conservative party for Canada. This is a real interview, not the typical lefty shitshows and hatchet jobs you see on the mass media all the time. Both men see the problems the nation faces with rampant shitlibbery and cuck conservatism and both make some interesting observations. You Yanks complain all the time about the Uniparty you have down there... welp, us Canadians could give you guys lessons on how that works! I was seriously thinking about 'voating harder' because there wasn't a lick of difference between the libs and the cucks - both groups are utterly unconcerned with working people or the middle class, and totally consumed with hanging on to their soft cushy jobs in politics. What's the point in voting when the parties are both filled with grifting shitheads and petty tyrants and sexual perverts?

Pierre makes the right noises, and says the things that our cuck conservatives are generally too gutless to get into. I am seriously thinking of renewing my membership in the conservative party and voting for him to lead it when the time comes. But... talk IS cheap with these guys. They'll say whatever they gotta say, and renege on it later. Voating is just so much kabuki theatre up here in Canada. But... somebody has to run this shit show, and Turdo La Doo is clearly not capable of the job... I dunno. At least... in this interview, the players are allowed to speak, there is no agenda, and none of the usual media hype and histrionics and clown acts.

If you are Canadian, conservative, and have a whack of chores to do today - put 'em on and put in your ear buds and spend some enjoyable time with rational adults talking about the issues of our day. I am old enough to remember when this was the way everyone acted.



The adults are talking here.

There's a lot of us around, contrary to the minority of circus clowns
around us.
It's a shot of encouragement I suppose.


But all this stuff is Canadian. Gawddammitalltohell... my lawn is growing as I type this, so I better get after it before it gets after me. I hope your chores are quick and fast, that the family is coming over and that you have some fun things planned. Have a great Sunday and - as always - thanks for stopping in. For us... Macey is fine for now and all is well. Life doesn't get any better than that.

Cheers,


Filthie

Saturday, 28 May 2022

Is It Hitler Time Yet?


This one hasn’t aged well, has it?

I wonder what lies at the bottom of this slippery slope?

Breakfast Filthiano

 


Addressing Male Privilege




This is how men get kilt by their women, and it 
gets ruled as a justifiable homo-cide.
Outside the realm of reason and intellect, there
is a difference between being right
and being dead.

Saturday Rude Jokes & Misc. Ignorattae

 


















Saturday Night Vigil

 It’s 1:37 in the morn. It’s too early even, to have shat the bed. The wife has a cold and is snoring like 747 on take off. She sighs softly on the intake, and rumbles like the space shuttle on the exhaust. At the foot of the bed, Macey is sound asleep too - but her cycle is exactly opposite of the wife’s - so it’s like a gawddamned airport in here and I get it in stereo. 

ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzz… and then somebody farts.

If I go to sleep, Macey will wake up and decide to go out in the middle of the night and I have to get up again. If I stay awake, she’ll sleep through the night.

I am in stubfart hell, and wonder what it is that I have done to deserve this.

🤬

Filthie’s EDC


 

Friday, 27 May 2022

The Ukraine Loses The War

 As any one with a triple digit IQ knew it would from the start. 

The vast majority of the ‘Kraine’s regular military are gone. The ones that remain are being ordered to commit suicide by holding their positions, and fighting to the last man. Zelensky is trying to get the officers to shoot the deserters. To their credit, most have refused and have surrendered with their men already, or are making plans to do so. The Ukes have been begging for the US and NATO to intervene on their behalf;  all the weapons and supplies in the world won’t do any good without the men to use them. Without an infusion of troops…this only ends one way.

We all know how the tail wags the dog in America: the usual suspects in Washington sit down with their fart catchers in the mass media - give them the story and the media slobs type it up, throw it on the wire and all the other outlets pick it up and blast the message out.

Sharp eyed Blog visitor Pat does the honours: the leftie fags at the WaPo tell us how it’s going to go down. Pay attention to Kissinger’s four points of resolution - and put a pin in it. Now, let us recall Putler’s demands before the festivities took place. To avoid an invasion, Vlad wanted:

- a demilitarized Ukraine with no NATO troops or weapons on Russia’s border. NATO formally agreed to this decades ago.

- he wanted the Ukraine and Europe to play fair and live by already established trade agreements. Corrupt Ukrainian trade practices were costing Russia 12 billion dollars a year and had to stop.

Kissinger is signalling that the US will abide by Putler’s demands and surrender the Ukraine as long as they can pretend to be doing something else that allows them to save face. Biden has no choice, Europe about to brush him off and deal. Here at home Biden will be lucky if he isn’t shot by his own people. China is signalling intents on Taiwan, and various gangster govts are growing restless too.

The Z Man has an excellent critique up on his blog that is worth your time. He explains the ways in which our incompetent govts have failed to understand the Russians, their capabilities and their resolve.

So? With the first unofficial overtures being made to Russia… what is Vlad going to do? And how will he receive them?

Periscope

 


Hmmmmmm.
That wall might slow down 7.62x39 or 5.56…
But anything bigger…and those bricks probably turn
into shrapnel…

The Black Powder Geek

 


The fashionable Glenfilthie wishes you
the top of the morn and bids you to have
a magnificent Friday.

This Is How We Fight

 


Grab the closest convenient tard and use him to
bludgeon the other tards
into submission.

Supper Of Champions

 


Thursday, 26 May 2022

I Have An Alibi


Screw you Americans and your tailgate BBQ’s!
In Rome we grill right in the stands!
😂👍

 Borepatch seems to be accusing me of a crime of petty vandalism going back about 1800 years. Nice try… but I was in Rome at the time, chillin’ and grillin’ up in the stands during the great chariot races. Why would I be buggering around with those blue bummed bastids in Briton at the end of the world? When I go to the public commode, I want to clean my backside with a soft Roman sponge… in Briton you’d probly get a savage’s spear up the hooper instead! 

No… if I had to speculate… I’d say it was probably Quartermain. He actually was a Vandal back in the good ol’ days. Looks like his graving too….



Gotta be Quartermain again…!

T’weren’t me, fellas… but you’d be correct to
suspect it…


Retard Pop Quiz

 


Bonus points if you can identify the
stinkiest and stupidest one…

Let’s Have A Little Chat, Leftie

 


HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!

I guess we’re all supposed feel shamed and humiliated about that last school shooting while the shitlibs dance on the coffins of school kids. “Your guns are killing the children!!!” they scream.

No, they aren’t. It’s your failed social experiments that are. You don’t raise your kids right, your single mothers are horrible parents that coke their sons up on psychotropic drugs to keep them quiet. Your wonderful socialized medical programs fail them. Turns out this last one was a tranny.

Let the parents mourn their children. In the meantime - take your gun grabbing, take your vegetable president and all your other pedophiles and go fuck yourselves.

On to the next Current Thing please.

Wednesday, 25 May 2022

The Writing Is On The Wall….

Ever since I’ve become a soft conspiracy nut, my skill at reading ‘the writing on the wall’ has closed in on 99% plus accuracy. I shouldn’t be blowing my own horn I suppose - unless you are a complete friggen retard - no one in their right mind would suppose for an instant that a kleptocracy like the ‘Kraine could face off the Russian Bear. The Dreizin Report largely confirms my suspicions about the war so far. He also notices the lack of success the Ukes have had miracle weapons like the Javelin missiles - and accounts for it.



Haaaruummpfpfppfffff! Wasn’t that what one of you chaps were saying the other day? That the battery packs on the weapons were old and nonfunctional? Welp… given the state of the supply chains - that’s going to be a problem. Cripes…now that I think about it…the missiles and rocket propellants…are they still going to be viable? Or the explosives? 

We can pretty much stick a fork in the ‘Kraine, unless something changes radically. The only hope in turning the Russkies now would be a full blown NATO intervention with troops, more tanks, more rockets, more money and more commitments.

If Biden makes a play like that… would China make its move on Taiwan? Would Putler go nuclear? He’s said that no wars will be waged on Russian soil…

The end of the Ukrainian war will usher in the start of something else. Given the people involved…it probably won’t be anything good either.

More Globohomo Tanks For The ‘Kraine…

 


Love That Ironware


 


Is that a dead guy lower down in the pic?
He wandered out in the middle of the night to
take a leak, and took a tumble instead…?

 

Tuesday, 24 May 2022

Shit Poast Of The Year: Putler’s Revenge 😂👍


I’m indifferent to Vox Day. He’s more a performance pundit than a critical intellect, but he plays well to the young incels trying to escape mom’s basement by getting them to ask questions, and reject the fake and gay narratives of our day. I was astonished when he brought us this gem. I’m still chuckling about it!

He shits the bed in his conclusions though, when he writes off this gal as a stone cold home-wrecker driven by mercenary impulses. Up here in Alberta, there’s more gawddamn Ukrainians around than stones…and I know I can safely make a few generalizations about them.

Ukrainian women are smart and practical, but by no means mercenary. They are warm, caring, and under ordinary circumstances, love their men and take very good care of them and the kids. Now - contrast that with the modern North American woman: the purple faced rage heads, coked to the gills on anti-depressants… the shrieking pussy hatters, the Chardonnay guzzling harpies, shrews, and unsavoury sluts… and it’s no contest. The Ukrainian girl will have her pick of eligible men. 

I think I am going to start up a mail order Ukrainian bride business. I know I can put Quartermain down for a half dozen, as well as Jack and Pete… get your orders in, fellas! In addition to all their other merits… Ukrainian women are THE BEST cooks on the planet. They can blow the doors off the Italian girls AND spare you the attitude and painful physical abuse! Cederq? Is your wife beating you up again? Mental note: call Johnny Depp poste haste!

Place your orders in the comments with your Visa card numbers…and have a great Tuesday. 😊


So what’s this? 20mm? 30?

Yannow… I don’t get military big game hunting at all. The big boys will get positively hosed with these monsters and shrug them off and keep fighting. But a flimpy little Javelin rocket will take them out and kill them dead?

Mind you I have my doubts about that now too. On Telegram I’ve seen the Ukes use shoulder fired rockets on tanks, get good hits…but the machine they are shooting at survives. You have to be careful with stuff like that because, like our own stuff - it’s all propaganda, all the time. But I am getting the impression that those Javelins and NLAWs may not be all they are cracked up to be.

But whadda I know.


 This was to be my first centrefire gun, chambered in .308. Back then my future wife was 16 and she was going to buy it for me for my birthday. I forbade it though. $400.00 was a king’s ransom back in those days, we had only just met…and I didn’t feel right about it at that point in our relationship. I wish now that I had let her but me one of these little gems… but I know I would have probably swapped away with all the infernal horse trading I used to do, and it would be on that list of guns that I traded and wished later that I hadn’t.

When We Were Kings