Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Tuesday, 17 May 2022

Canadiana: The Ukrainian Firing Squad

The “Ukrainian Firing Squad” was first immortalized on the old Canukistannie $50.00 bill.

Who’s that toad on the front? Pearson? I don’t think
it’s Diefenbaker…

The Ukes today are a little more creative about it - they’ve invited the Russians to help them self-terminate and I wish them all the best in that I suppose. But I digress - the point of this post is not to make fun of the unsavoury Ukrainians… the point of the ramble above to keep the concept of the Ukrainian Firing Squad in mind as you ask a Canadian: which is the worst province in Canada?

HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!! HAR HAR HAR! Why…the whole fuggin country sucks balls!!!

Yannow, when I was a kid I went to the Aaaaadmontin Exhibition with Pop and Big Bro and we were ambling through the stables where the Red Coats had their horses for the Musical Ride.  Wonder if they still do that? Anyhoo…we walked past one stall belonging to one of those great big black noggered bastards - and the sonofabitch put the bite on me. I got so damned mad at that bugger that I gave him a knuckled backhand across the snoot! The horse lost his fuggin mind and started rearing kicking and trying to bust out of that stall to kill me. Dad and Big Bro kicked, punched and slapped me away and the handlers were on the nag in seconds. His rider wanted to kill me too! Those Red Coat horses are no bloody joke…and you treat them that way at your peril. I say this in all sincerity: if you see a cop on a horse, YOU yield the right of way and give them as much room as you can. 


  1. When my dad transferred down to San Jose, Calif, the sergeant in charge of the San Jose Police Mounted Unit lived next door. After knowing me and I showed him I could ride I would go after school and exercise the Thoroughbreds by a lunge line and then ride them down the trails along the creek. You definitely had to tell them you were in charge and took no lip from the horses. Let me tell ya, it impressed the girls taking them for a ride...

  2. It is exactly the same with the mounted police in New Orleans. If the horse doesn't bite the living crap out of you, kick more crap out of you or just generally stomp you into goo, the officer riding him will beat the crap out of you from on high. The way they can part the crowd at Mardi Gras makes Moses skulk off in shame.

  3. At the old PD in LBB, there was a covered parking area on the side. The K9 guys would park there, usually in unmarked cars. Dad would walk by a car, the dog would bark, and dad would start beating on the roof and thumping the window. The dog would start slobbering and barking and gnashing teeth. There would be slobber all over the back windows and door. He'd always giggle and say, "man, I'd hate to have to clean up after that dog..." He was a joker...

  4. My folks had Palomino show horses, and we'd always hit the State fairs. It was in the mid '60s and racial tensions were high. We were at the Michigan State Fair in Detroit, MI. We were in the horse barn, and the Michigan State Mounted Patrol was stabled there, as they were putting on a precision riding demonstration.

    Being able to ride, I was impressed with the demonstration. Those men put some serious practice time in, and they knew what they were doing.

    And so on Saturday night around 10:00 PM, the fertilizer hit the turbine blades. A race riot broke out on the midway, and the rioters ran through the cow barn. One group picked up every pitchfork they could find and threw them at the other group - who picked them up and thew them back. Then the whole business spilled outside.

    All able bodied men got a pitchfork and stood sentry at one doorway, while the other doors were closed and locked. This is about as good as you could hope for - except the mounted patrol were there. They saddled up, got their night sticks out, and rode right out to quell the riot. It took them a solid fifteen minutes to convince all rioters to run like hell. More than a few got rapped in the head or face with a nightstick.

    The news media didn't cover it. At all.

    I'd been out on the midway that evening. I was maybe 12 years old at the time, but I distinctly remember that the midway didn't look safe. Young guys were hanging around in groups of three - five, and a huge group of motorcyclists were riding in a circle in a field adjacent to the parking lot. I headed back to the horse barn.

    And, by the way, smacking that horse that tried to bite you was the correct thing to do. You don't ever let a horse get away with an attack like that.