Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Wednesday, 11 May 2022

I Ain’t Eatin It… Home Remedy?


What in the seven hells is this?
How can you mess up fruit?
Gah!
🤮

 

Is it some kind of medicinal concoction? You’d have to have colo-rectical-testicular cancer to eat that mess!

I shouldn’t bitch. I am going on the wife’s celery seed tea for my gout. This stuff is so rotten, not even the doctors will not prescribe it. My wife used to make it for me but now that I’m an expert chef I gotta make my own. It’s probly gonna be even nastier than when she makes it! 

I know why this gout all happened too. I made rude jokes about JL and STxAR and Jack and their ailmeMINTS and how they were all faking it to get out of household chores. As I yukked it up that karmic wheel came rolling round… and I was made flat! It served me right! I hereby apologize to those men, and beg their forgiveness!

(Everything I’ve said about Pete, Cederq, and Quartermain remains 100% true!)

14 comments:

  1. Apple Cider Vinegar CURED my gout.

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  2. My favorite sawbones gave me pills that knocked out my gout, but now that I'm on the wagon I think the gout flare up is a thing of the past.

    I'm sorry to hear you're all stove up. Drink lots of water, take an anti-inflammatory, and stay off the sauce. In a few days you'll be much better.

    Any celery seed concoction you get from your Old Lady, well, you're on your own.

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  3. I think you are a mystic. I tend that way too. When something befalls me, I leap to a conclusion of "I sinned!!" Forgiven, no sweat. Get better brother.

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  4. Black Cherry pills. Works wonder. It has completely relieved my foot gout. Takes about one week to kick in. take 2 a day. drink water.

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  5. I've spent many hours over the years looking at joint fluids under a microscope. Gout is uric acid crystals in yer joints. We had to distinguish them from calcium pyrophosphate crystals which is treated differently. The two twist light in opposite directions under a polarizing lens.
    Uric acid, like cholesterol, is a very necessary and useful item in your metabolism. It's a major antioxidant in your bloodstream. Crystalizing in your joints, not so much, as you are well aware.
    As mentioned in other comments above, there are several pharmaceuticals to treat it, and they'll no doubt work a lot faster than herbal remedies. Nothing against herbal medicine, but if it works at all, it's slow and subtle in effect. Good luck, and I hope you find relief, sooner than later.

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  6. There is much information that you should know about Cedreq.
    When you're feeling better perhaps we should get together for an afternoon and I'll give ya the skinny...... er ahh the fat? I'm approximately 2 hard driving days north of you. You know what the roads are like in that country, so pack a few spare tires and a goodly selection of tools. Good cigars await your arrival.

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    Replies
    1. Would you mind enlighten me about me Death? Don't scare everybody away from me, I don't have that many friends as it is.

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  7. I can cast some wicked ailments your way iffn' you don't recant. I know a lot of them and most you will be in traction for at least six months and have daily colonoscopies and bladder biopsies...

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  8. I was just seeing if you were still alive.
    Since you won't come and visit, I was trying to spark some interest from, Glen. Anyway, I've noticed that you are making lots of threats against me lately.

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    Replies
    1. What? I didn't make any threats, just promises...

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  9. No apology necessary, Glen. Even if I were mauled by a rabid grizzly, my wife would automatically assume, by default, I was faking to get out of cutting the lawn/shoveling snow.

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  10. I've been drinking Wormwood tea as a Covid preventive. It's really bitter. Maybe I should get Absinthe instead.

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  11. Mr. Filthie- I am a veteran of the gout battles. Leave your wallet in your pants when it comes to home remedies. Black cherries my ass. Alluporinal daily for prevention. May have to use colchicine for bad attacks. Colchicine give you the twirls. I have it in my knees. First time went to doc, I nearly shit my pants just getting in truck. No joke.

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  12. The stuff in the pan is a terrific mixer for cocktails, once you boil it down a bit.

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