Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Saturday, 28 May 2022

Saturday Night Vigil

 It’s 1:37 in the morn. It’s too early even, to have shat the bed. The wife has a cold and is snoring like 747 on take off. She sighs softly on the intake, and rumbles like the space shuttle on the exhaust. At the foot of the bed, Macey is sound asleep too - but her cycle is exactly opposite of the wife’s - so it’s like a gawddamned airport in here and I get it in stereo. 

ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzz… and then somebody farts.

If I go to sleep, Macey will wake up and decide to go out in the middle of the night and I have to get up again. If I stay awake, she’ll sleep through the night.

I am in stubfart hell, and wonder what it is that I have done to deserve this.

🤬

3 comments:

  1. Fascinatingly enough, it's a life you agreed to with your guardian angel before you were sent down to be born. So, make the best of it.
    Ohio Guy

    ReplyDelete
  2. My wife sounds like yodeling grizzly bears riding mini bikes with no mufflers running chain saws. People wonder why I'm tired......

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your XY chromosome Glen, your XY... that is all the difference and anguish of being male, our burden.

    ReplyDelete