It’s 1:37 in the morn. It’s too early even, to have shat the bed. The wife has a cold and is snoring like 747 on take off. She sighs softly on the intake, and rumbles like the space shuttle on the exhaust. At the foot of the bed, Macey is sound asleep too - but her cycle is exactly opposite of the wife’s - so it’s like a gawddamned airport in here and I get it in stereo.
ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzz… and then somebody farts.
If I go to sleep, Macey will wake up and decide to go out in the middle of the night and I have to get up again. If I stay awake, she’ll sleep through the night.
I am in stubfart hell, and wonder what it is that I have done to deserve this.