Which two should the wife pick...?
One a the farmers from our church has a fresh litter of kittens they are trying to get rid of. Unlike most men, I love cats as much as dogs. I enjoy Cat Soccer and hand to hand combat, fighting for tactical superiority in the Reclusium... and I see several no-good sonsabitches in that lot that just might offer me a challenge! HAR HAR HAR!!! That little black bastid, and that orange turd gobbler look like interesting foes...
Unfortunately Macey is in her final days and the last thing she needs is some baby f-knuckles ruining her world. Mort is an old bugger too and I think he'd be okay with them.
My cats were legendary villains. Sinker was dumb as a post but an idiot savante. He could do several dog tricks but outside those - he was a waste of skin. He liked to lay around and get petted - and beat on his younger brother - Smokey Joe. My daughter brought him home and he was nothing but trouble. He'd pick fights with the guys, snuggle up to the ladies and entertain our daughter - but even she got tired of his bullchit sometimes. I still miss them terribly.
Maybe I should box up the lot - mail them down to Cederq and have him release them in Phil's shop? It would be a legendary prank... but also grounds for justifiable homo-cide too. Might be worth it., though? Alas! Why do you test me and tempt me, oh mighty Lord?