Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Friday, 22 July 2022

Death By Sammich II

Oh my gawd. I have perfected the egg salad sammy - fortified and
enriched with paprika, served on sourdough bread.

Classic ingredients, but I went hard on the diced onions, light on the minced garlic...
and put two blorts of mustard in - classical yellow dijon, and the kind with 
the seeds in it.

I couldn't move for a couple hours after eating it and my heart stopped for 109 
minutes afterward. I ruined my digestive tract... but it was worth it.



  1. When those odd little bumps on your tongue get a tickle and you figure out how to make them happy, it's heavenly. Then after the gut gets done, all bets are off. I made some great baked beans years ago, and I can still remember running for a different room after being awoken in the middle of the night with screams and gagging.... Dad called them Forty Fours.

  2. Cut the toe nails, or can you not reach 'em?

  3. I've been known to clear a very large room (45' X 100' with 12' ceiling) with people gagging on their way out after me eating that sort of thing. Boiled eggs far exceed what beans do to me. I've told my wife that if she cooks egg salad or deviled eggs, she shouldn't complain to me about the result of me eating them.