Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Thursday, 14 July 2022

The Filthie Beardo

 


Well that’s IT. I’ve spent most a my life clean shaven; and I’ve always wanted to grow a beard. I couldn’t though, in my job ya had to be clean shaven in case ya gotta put on a Scott Pack or something. In my semi-retireMINT I decided I was gonna finally grow one out. I had visions of looking like this…



 But I ended up looking more like this guy:



Minus the big sack of money, of course…


How in blazes do ya grow a decent beard? I couldn’t take it anymore, I flipped out and trimmed it back almost to the wood. I tried beard balm and beard oil but hells bells… it stuck out at odd angles and I looked like the creep that lives in the van down by the river…

Sigh. 

Maybe in another life I will be a man of fashion and taste.

10 comments:

  1. With all due respect, I don't think the guy in the black shirt is anything to emulate. He looks like a fudge packing queer (their word, not mine) to me.
    Better to emulate Busted Knuckles Phil in your thoughts of what a good (unmanicured) beard looks like.

    Go for it, Dude!

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  2. Like Elmo says, key word is unmanicured. Like you, I had to be clean-shaven for decades. A couple years ago(when I attained free-agency)I decided to have the beard of my dreams. I aggravated the hell outta me, so I just keep it trimmed to about 3/8"(you'll have to do the math for that faggot metric stuff you use up there).

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  3. Spirit gun is your friend and an expense account at a wig shop... I parrot Elmo and the Chuck use proper standard fractional measurement not commie metro-gay measuring... just my two cents.

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  4. If you guys hadn’t always beat up on Johno, there would be a 10mm socket reference here.

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  5. Yeah, facial hair and me weren't destined to be either. I grew a moustache three years ago while staying at home for Covid 19, but the grey tinges beneath my nostrils made it appear as if I had running snot. Not a good look, but stupid me, I kept it for a year before finally giving up. The stubborn runs strong with me.

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  6. Yeah I suppose the dude in the pic is a bit of a manicured fop or butt blaster... but is it too much to ask for a beard that will acturally comb? Mine stuck out all over the place...

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  7. Growing a beard is a sign of laziness. Unless you're a viking.

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  8. I stopped shaving the day I got out of the army, 19jun1978.
    I due shave my neck maybe once a month cause I can't stand the itching, and I trim the bulk of it every couple months, and I also trim around my mouth cause nothing is worse than eating your own hair. Otherwise I just let it alone and NO, I have never entertained the notion of putting any of that fag stuff on it. I never let it go more than about 3" long cause it becomes a major pain in the ass. Maybe your expectations are too high. Don't try to look like someone else (like in that pik).

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  9. I discovered that the 3m large respirator and a particular Draeger mask for our air packs got a full seal despite my short beard and so I have gotten away with having one... but I've got to shave next week, as I have refresher training at a local fire academy and their cheap-ass masks won't get a seal. Rumor is we're moving to custom-fit masks that will require us to be clean shaven or have pedo mustaches like the Air Force and Coast Guard have.

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