Too hard to hold
The two hardest things to hold weigh nothing: Our breath and grudges.
Some folks are "energized" by grudges and presumed wrongs. They are sadly mistaken. Those grudges are maintained at a high, but hidden price.
In general, I don't hold grudges. My memory is not that good and I am lazy. Other people might hold different opinions regarding my zeal for holding grudges.
I hold grudges but I am not energized by them. Were I the man I want to be, I’d cast them away without a second thought and be free of them. But… I cannot. Time heals but leaves an aching scar. Reading my bible on the cell phone helps.
It used to be that my daughter and in-laws lived in my head, rent-free. Now, days and weeks go by without me thinking about them. Later in my life I became a problem solver and an acolyte of General Stormin’ Norman Schwarzkopf. He’d tell the kids to draw up a list of goals and objectives. Then do a feasibility study, and evaluate the costs and sacrifices and benefits. Once you selected your goals, you push toward them with everything you have, and success would come. If you failed, regroup, analyze the failure, change your approach and try again. Every problem can be overcome.
But… my in-laws, particularly my father in-law, and my daughter were problems that defied resolution for me. They lived rent-free in my head for years. They still make the odd appearance… but… I’m coming along. Contrary to Joe I think laying burdens aside is incredibly difficult. It’s changed me.