Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Friday, 30 September 2022

Adventures In Social Medicine


 Well… Pa Filthie is coming along. He’s woozy but knows where he is, and he can even crack the odd rude joke. In the hospital the fag pointed to his pee bottle and said, “whaddya think of my toilet, Glen?” I picked it up and told him it was MY toilet now… and was gonna take that sweetheart home and use it myself! We were HAR HAR HARing it up when mom got mad and gave us the stink-eye. She shooed me out shortly thereafter. Can’t take Glen anywhere, dontchya know!

😜

Mom is hacked right off at me because she wants me to come visit in the afternoon. Problem is, I can’t get parking that late in the day. The parkades fill up with idiocy and road rage as the retards try to find a place to park. It was incredible - yesterday, a woman walks out and gets into her car. An old lady coming the other way stops - right in the middle of the road. She sees a space opening up… and stops to wait. The woman in the car gets behind the wheel… but hauls out her cell phone and starts to talk. The old hen waiting for the spot sits patiently while the cars stack up behind us both. Horns start the blare as enraged drivers grid lock. I thump my head on the wheel and try not to chimp out. We are at a tee intersection… and cars begin to stack up from that direction too. I burned up 45 minutes in there. Parking is $4.50 an hour or $14.50 for a half day.

There is no other public parking nearby either. In addition, Dad’s little dog will pee on the floor if I’m not there to let him out. He’s on a special kind of food that makes him thirsty… and he just pees and pees and pees when he gets out. His bladder is bigger than Mort’s! Poor little bugger… But in mom’s mind I am just being difficult and troublesome. She’s playing other little head games too…but as she gets older the quality of them has gone into steep decline. Or maybe I just got wise to them? She’s nice when she remembers I’m looking after her dawg but awful when she forgets!

πŸ˜‚

Dad has a long road ahead of him. I’m thinking it’s time to consider stuff like mobility scooters, assisted living and wheelchair accessibility… but I’m stupid and don’t know anything and Mom and Big Bro will figure it all out. I shouldn’t get all up on my high horse about it… one day I am going to be old and stupid too! Hell, I’m halfway there already!

Have a great Friday, you guys - and thanks for dropping in.



9 comments:

  1. Take care of yourself Glen.

    One patient at a time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. May I suggest that you steam the label off of a bottle of Bacardi Gold rum or bottom-shelf Canadian Whiskey and glue it to the side of his pee-bottle. A man has to keep his perspective.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. THAT is awesome advice as usual, Joe! That is why, when I am having big psychological problems, I always go to Eaton Rapids or to Busted Knuckles for wisdom on how to cope with them...

      :)

      Delete
  3. Dealing with live in Mom in law with 2 month on broken hip, she's 87, I'm 71. Things are going surprisingly well, thank the Lord. Everything's changed, can't leave her alone. I feel for ya. Tree Mike

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a rock star, Mike, and no bones about it. "Being there" is damned tough business in a hospital environment. I think Mom is trying to be one too... so I am around if she needs help. By her standards she is doing remarkably well. She actually texts me now, HAR HAR HAR!!! Errrr... I *think* that's a good thing... right? :)

      You be careful too, Mike. Falls are the stuff of high comedy for us younger retards, but as time goes on - oh boy, they are nasty things...

      Delete
  4. Not sure how it works in your end of the world, but at that age most in the US go for a "rehab stay" before going home. Just be prepared for the unexpected. Older we get the higher the morbidity and mortality is after things like like a hip fracture. There is a fairly substantial increase in mortality rate in the year following the fracture. Not to be doom and gloom at all, I have just found over the years a lot of folks are unaware of the numbers. Your pop sounds like a tough ole bird so hopefully he is on the good side of the bell shaped curve. Sooner he is away from the hospital the better in some ways. Prayers with y'all. ~~dirtroadlivin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am ready for whatever my Maker hands me on this one, A. You are right - hell's bells - WE could keel over tomorrow and there'd be nothing at all we could do about it...

      Delete
  5. I’ve got my first check total of $15,550, pretty cool. I am so excited, this is the first time i Actually earned something. I am going to work even harder now and I can't wait for next week's payment. For more detail visit this website. Www.Profit97.Com

    ReplyDelete