Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Saturday, 22 October 2022

People Posters



Do they have one more current?
Like in a Obutthole or a Biden?

Pass.




Yeecccchhhttt. Gay!

Pass!


👍👍👍AWESOME👍👍👍

And Quartermain has one of those 4 coloured Bic Pens!
This’d be a cinch for him!
For the right bubblegum cards
and some high end comic books - I too can join
the tough cool guys of the tattoo community!
This fag wears sandals. I’ll wear
Crocs!
😎 👍

When I as a wee tardlet, the dream weavers down at the 7-11 hit upon a winning formula: petrified bubble gum and sickie-lickie-stickie tattoos. They sold in packages resembling bubble gum cards and they were so hot, the store couldn’t keep them in stock. The clerk almost had to call the police one day when they sold out, and a swarm of snarling pre-pubescent disgruntled tardlets began to form right in the store. Even the girls were livid. And the lick-n’-stick tats? Those things were damn near permanent! The girls got the ones with  pretty ponies, colourful birdies, flowers and ladybugs. For us guys there were gruesome monsters and Rat Fink style cartoons.

That was the straw that triggered the great Mom Revolt in ‘74. Ya see, the new 7-11 store had become a social hub for us kids. They sold cigarettes to kids if they had notes from the parents. You can imagine what the older kids did with that. Skin mags were out front on the rack where filthy little minds could could be corrupted. And when the little girls came home with neck and face tats…the moms hit the roof. Soap and water wouldn’t take them off. Household cleaners wouldn’t touch them. My dad figured he might have the solution when he hauled me out to the garage and tried varsol and some other mild automotive degreasers. A wire brush would work but abrasives tended to take the skin too. Scandalized moms had three choices:

- leave their tardlets at home on church Sundays

- put up with them for the two months it took for the tats to wash out (during which time the retarded child often refreshed his skin with new ones) 

- organize a formal protest against 7-11 locally and corporately and bitch to the skies with shrill histrionics, clucking and egg laying

Well, ya just KNOW what they did, dontchya? 7-11 got the very HELL of it! Moms in other towns went after them too.All the skin mags got pulled from the magazine racks and put behind the cashier out of reach of curious little customers. Bubblegum tattoos were banned. Cigarettes were no longer sold to minors. Older kids that dealt in drugs were harassed and arrested by the cops who could also top up their coffees after some easy arrests. The place went straight to shit! Thanks, Mom!!!
😡

But 7-11 didn’t go quietly. The next craze was bubblegum stickers. Some of us kids actually had cool dads back then, and mine had just bought this big, heavily muscled gas gobbling whore - a minty ‘69 SS Chevelle. There was a very small, lame STP sticker on it.. and I had a pack FULL of awesome stickies. And - they used space-age adhesives that NASA used to repair its space suits. Nothing short of gamma radiation and road rage would take them off. I opened up the package, threw the petrified gum at a passing sea gull… and went to work. I had to break open another pack for the interior… but Pop was worth it! Or, so I thought at the time.

The dads weren’t smart enough to organize but they were mighty handy with improvised weapons like leather belts and wooden spoons. I learned at a very young age that following the herd often led to very bad things. And you sure as hell wanted to avoid the cowboys and cowgirls that rode with the herd.

Maybe I’ll just pass on the tattoo thing altogether…

12 comments:

  1. I dunnknow Glen, hole in the head Abe is a good look!
    Ohio Guy

    ReplyDelete
  2. My mom still tells the story, 50+ years later, of the time I tried to "freshen up" the looks of my Dad's 65 Dodge Coronet 500 with big block V8, 4-barrel, 4 speed, and posi-trac rear end. You see, he ordered it in plain white so I took some crayons and added racing stripes, flames, all sorts of goodness to the awesome machine. My mom panicked, called her sister, and together the two of them washed that car for hours trying to take all the crayon off before my Dad got home from work and killed me. Too bad they didn't take any polaroids of my artwork before washing it away. Good times.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah - that last tattoo - chokin a chicken??? Tell me you are an Incel without telling me you are an Incel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's just showing off that he has a cock that hangs below his knee.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous is correct. I have a very similar one on my left calf. Got it in 1991, while in the USN. Good for winning bar bets.

      Delete
  4. For you Loon spending, catsup loving Canuck.......
    https://bacontime.files.wordpress.com/2022/10/filthie.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have no tattoos, but if I ever got one, it would be this: https://tinyurl.com/2p92s9jx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Holy cow, no kidding, Im pretty sure the chicken tattoo is a pic of a former-boss i had working as a gov scum contractor years ago, he got the tattoo and took that pic in Hawaii. He showed up a the bar in Waikiki with that tattoo showing it off, a former-LTC mind you, aged 50 with a Mid-life crisis, divorce thing going on.

    ReplyDelete
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