Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Friday, 14 October 2022

Vintage Tard Times

 



There’s me and all the other little tardlets having a wholesome day at the playground. That’s Uncle Bob at the top, feeding the tards into the twister.
Going down the ladder, is Cederq, Pete F, PP, and me at the bottom being helped up
by Pa Filthie.
The moms were around ready to write the death certificates and stitch up
the wounded.

If we survived the 40 ft. teeter-totters, and the Darwinian monkey bars, 
we went to the county fair in the summer where we’d be loaded up
with burgs, fwench fries, candy and pop… and 
then put on rides that induced panic, vertigo and nausea. Tards that
erupted would be shamed and ostracized until the next year, when they’d get a 
chance to redeem themselves again.
 
Today, our children have to survive queer and pedo teachers, 
druggies, noggers, vibrants AND get past the Marxist indoctrination. When they fail…
they go to live in the cellar, or jail…Or in clown world.

No wonder they think us oldsters are lame.

9 comments:

  1. Greens bayou, across the street when I was a kid, had a pair of cables across it. Rumor was when it was getting ready to come up out of the banks someone would go out and measure it. Never saw that, but we,being bright young men, would take turns going out on the cables, joined by vertical rods every so many feet, and the rest of the geniuses would shake hell outta the cables. I was short, so my feet didn't stay on the cable, but I stayed on. Only one guy ever fell. Landed flat on the shoulder blades. I wasn't there that day, but I heard about it soon after. He left a bit of a mark.
    That slide looks like a Hoot!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You forgot to include my favorite playground death-trap, the carousel. Put five kids on it, with five more spinning it until it went so fast, kids started flying off. Honor and glory for the last one to stay on, first one to stop walking in spirals, and only one not to barf!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh gawd yeah. I remember pulling 12 G's, hanging straight out, flapping in the breeze as I went round... HAR HAR HAR!!! If you were careful and spit out your bubble gum just right - you'd nail the kid behind...

      Delete
  3. Kids routinely broke bones, received stitches and earned black eyes and multiple black & blues on playgrounds back in the day. The kids healed up, returned for more fun and the best part?
    Nobody was sued!

    - WDS

    ReplyDelete
  4. Not me going DOWN the ladder, I was the kid that rode the outside ridge on my belly sliding down! I was not a wuss growing up, still ain't.

    ReplyDelete
  5. bro and i had almost permanent knee scabs
    hated for the mercurochrome to run out and she brought out the...merthiolate!! sting!
    always went right back out
    indoors was a foreign land to us no matter the season

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You haven't lived until your Mom brought out the heavy artillery, Mr. Iodine. It burned because, as I was informed, it was killing the germs. If you need proof just look for the skull and crossbones on the label.
      - WDS

      Delete
  6. The monkey bars were the best and one Halloween I dislocated a hip on the slide and crawled home, later limped around to get some free candy.

    ReplyDelete
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