Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Monday, 21 November 2022

Everyday Situational Awareness

 General Aesop will learn ya gotta everything ya need to know about being a 4th Generation California Commando and setting Globohomo on fire. I think he’d wet his pants at the muzzle blast and recoil from a .22… but don’t tell him I said that! HAR HAR HAR! HAR HAR HAR!!!


I will specialize in other, more practical martial arts. One of the most crucial skills required by the warrior stubfart is the ability to see - and react before the danger presents itself! Example:

You’re about to die. You have only seconds.
Can you spot the peril?!?!

What kind a woman needs three rolling pins? 

Let me help ya with that: the kind of woman that intends to murder her husband! Did you wipe your bung on the drapes? Did ya maybe fart with too much enthusiasm in bed this morn? Didjya leave the toilet seat up?

Women can be triggered by the most random innocent events and moved to extreme violence by the most trivial details. The best weapon at your disposal is awareness. 


  1. I was thinking that any woman that keeps that neat and clean of a kitchen is likely to kill you for being messy.

  2. It looks like the covefe machine is on and about to spray coffee all over the counter as well.

    1. Far worse. It’s empty. That situation alone calls for immediate retraining or abject companion replacement.

  3. The problem manifests itself in the lack of handcuffs on the stove.

  4. 3 dangerous weapons in the hand of a pissed off woman on the centre table.
    Too clean, and if you mess anything up in that kitchen you will see use of above weapons of male destruction.
    Something the same colour as the cabinet handles is protruding just at the extreme right of the photo a few inches above the table top. Can't tell what it is.... too blurry, but seems to be out of place.....
    Other than that, I got nothin' bro.

  5. My kitchen never looked like that unless the wife was gone. Flat surfaces are the same to most women.

    Bear Claw