Hospital Survival Kit

Good morning everyone, we’re so happy that dropped in! Mondays are always a drag, which is why we go to extra effort to try to focus our friends and visitors on meaningful issues rather than the droll BS of work! You’re welcome!

Pop is laid up in rehab for the next 4 to 6 weeks. The girls aren’t giving him a break either; they are torturing him in the gym, forcing him to build strength back up as they are going to kick him out as soon as possible! There’ll be no slacking off as he learns to drive a walker, negotiate stairs, and do all that without falling again and busting himself up. He’s got it pretty tough, and no bones about it. 

I’ve been thinking of assembling a survival package for him that will contain all the fixings and necessities for a gentleman of outstanding constitution like Pop - or any of us. Unca Donald (his big Bro) visited him the other day and the stupid bugger brought a 6 pack of cupcakes. Poor dad managed to choke one down politely and flirt with diabetes. He sent them home with me and I in turn passed them over to the old lady for safe disposal. GAH! Cupcakes? Unca Donald is old and stupid too!

So. Proper food and necessities for an extended hospital stay, eh? While young, handsome spring chickens like you and I don’t have to worry about such things (knock on wood)… old geezers like Jack, Quartermain, Cederq, or Pete could keel over at any instant - and we’d better be prepared. Proper provisions? Okay!

Picked eggs clear the lower intestine 

and while that is clearly a health benefit… it comes

with a cost of magnum levels of flatulence.

Sorry - no ferro rods, flint n steel, or the usual

fire starting substitutes.

Egg farts are no joke for innocent women

and civilians. Good sulphurous matches

are the only answer. Watch your LEL’s boys!

If ya have matches… ya might as well

indulge the other manly pleasures, eh?  One a these and a

tall cup of coffee will fortify a man against gruelling morn of painful

rehab with sadistic nurses and quack doctors! 

😊👍

It’d be something to look forward

to after a gruelling session too!

Doctors are flat out full a shit about cholesterol!

Eat what ya want - die like a man!

These are awesome but you will need more matches.

These keep your stools firm yet pliable, 

and compatible with lower quality TP commonly found 

in hospitals.

Reading material

So….? Did I leave anything out? If you can recommend anything else - be a sport and help us out in the comments. Have a great Monday and be careful out there!