Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Monday, 26 December 2022

Arty Facts: The Perch Of Kings

There’s a famous movie scene where it’s Friar Tuck, or maybe King Henry - and he’s bellied up to a feast table full of savoury rich food. So he grabs a turkey leg and takes a bite…then throws it over his shoulder. He grabs a big chunk of cheese, takes a bite…and throws the rest over the other shoulder. He grabs a meat pie, takes a bite…and throws it over his shoulder… he goes on like that and it really is quite hilarious.

I dunno what the plot was or the context of it…but I feel like I’ve been eating that way for three days! I think I’m beginning to understand vegetarians a bit. If I eat one more candy or Christmas treat…I am going to have to vomit….


So it was that when this mystery piece of antiquity popped up on my radar I recognized it immediately.

That’s King Alfred Of Anglia, or possibly Cederq Of Wessex…
Perched on a thunderbox after the Yule Feast.

I have the same thousand yard stare today, with a food hangover…
wondering what the hell I’ve done to myself
and whether I’ll survive it.

I don’t think my lower intestine was designed 
to take this kind of


I hope you are as miserable as I am and that you managed it the same way! If you’re young enough to handle it… a quart of whisky will lube your innards and make passing high volumes much easier.

Just sayin’….


  1. Quart of whiskey and you won't feel it, easy or not.
    Steve S6

  2. Yep, paid my dime and only farted...

  3. I didn't really overindulge yesterday, but yes, the morning constitutional was a tad bit earlier than usual.
    When I was much younger, I could go to an "all you can eat" buffet and REALLY get my money's worth. Sometime in my middle years, I discovered that the pain after the third plate just wasn't worth the effort. As always, I try to be gracious about encountering these "limitations of age", but still and all they are often a pissoff.

  4. Not quite the level of "Gunner" but our little Cairn terrier knows when a delivery or post truck is heading our way yet is 3 blocks away, And that while sitting indoors. Thanks for all the great posts Glen.