Welp - ol' Flapz comes through again. My cigar seeds are in and soon I will be plucking fresh premium cigars right off the vine. Do they grow in batches like bananas? Or will you have to shuck the husk off them like a cob of corn...?
😂👍
Speaking of corn, I don’t care what anyone says - corn does NOT grow in Alberta and anyone that says otherwise is a damned liar!!! I will tolerate no disagreement on that whatsoever!!! The subject of recreational corn growing is an emotional trigger for me, and I’ll remind the Usual Suspects that the Thunderbox is a Safe Place!!!
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Recently I got my nose out of joint when that horse faced, clot headed cnut in New Zealand decided that her country was going smoke free. I knew it was only a matter of time until it became the cause de jour of all the western menopausal old ladies and harridans that now run our gubbimints. Sure enough, some city in BC just announced that their entire city was going smoke free now too. Was it Hongcouver? That place if full of froots and nuts.
Yeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh... about that, ladies? UP YOUR COLLECTIVE ASS! HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!! This morning I went over to the Z Blog where Z was into his fifth scotch of the morning and going over his last new year’s predictions and reviewing how they all turned out. Like me, he was wrong on just about everything - all his predictions - which were for growing craziness in 2022... Well… as we have all seen - it is peak lunacy going on out there. He's at a loss to explain it all but I think I got it figured out: when you consider that the west is now run mostly by crazy old white women... everything starts to make sense. Old women like herbal tea and might drink a coffee if they are feeling feisty… but they HATE cigars, whisky, guns and any of the good things in a man’s life. A lot of them hate men and aren’t shy about saying so. They will trade freedom for security every time, and if that isn’t possible they’ll settle for crazy just as long as it feels good. There’s the obvious exceptions to all that… but they are the exception. My 79 year old mom is batshit crazy… and if Turdo got run over by a steam roller, or Biden fell down the stairs…and you replaced those goofs with her… nothing would change! You’d just be getting your daily craziness right from the source, rather than filtering it through finger puppets like Joe and Justin! I am not exaggerating either. When mom starts bloviating about politics I just shut her off and toon out. That bint will make me crazy if I listen and take her seriously.
Old women may be batshit crazy but they are NOT stupid. That’s why they impose their lunacy through rule of law and the institutions… and many of those are now running on fumes as a result. In 2023, I predict a massive swell in the numbers of conspiritards! HAR HAR HAR! I also predict that the numbers of men developing heart and liver complications from rage related issues will go through the roof! Phil, Z and Cederq will probly die first!!! Assuming I don’t beat them to it, of course…
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In view of the worsening craziness of our times - I recommend you review your preps. It’s gotten so bad our govts are now pretty much illegitimate. I heard someplace in BC wants to start institutionalizing the unvaccinated and confiscating property of anyone whose unvaccinated now. Good luck with that one too, ladies!
He’s either a finger puppet or a tranny.
No self respecting man would back something like that…
So… I’ve decided to see if I can secure my own tobacco supply. Any idea when I should plant the cigar seeds? Up here in Aaaaaadmontin the frost is usually gone for the season at the end of May. Should I start my seeds a couple weeks early…? If there are any green thumbs or experts in the house, your advice would be sincerely appreciated in the comments… I’d love to start them right now if I could …
I hope ya Thursday is going good! Smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em!!!
Glen, start your seeds in a hot box after all threat of freezing temps are gone.
ReplyDeleteWhen the plants reach about 5-7 inches, Spike them in the ground bout 1-2 feet apart. When the get big and have flowers on the top,
snap them off. This bout doubles the leaves. jist a kentucky boy
Start them in a hot box (like tomatos) after threat of freezing temps are done.
ReplyDeleteWhen plants are bout 5-7 inches, spike them into the ground.
When they blossom flowers on the top, snap them off. This bout doubles the leaves and their size.
kentucky boy
Don't know about Z, if he is married, but you and Phil are goners dead man walking seeing how ya'll are still married. I am blissfully single and have sworn off wimmins except looking at Woodsterman's cleavage pics, eye candy you understand.
ReplyDeletePossibly true. If my wife ever re-gains her sense of sight and smell I am dead for sure.
DeleteI'm not a Farmer (Horses are Pets, afterall) but here in Virginia, where Tobacco is still grown with modern Farm equipment, the Climate is a Looong Ways from the Great White Nawth. We're technically "Subtropical Rainforest" by Climactic Standards, and get Months of 80+ (F.) Temps and lots of Rain, and the Growing Season can be so long that 3 good Cuttings of Hay can be done.... So, Good Luck with growing Cigars up there. You might need to go with actual Hothouse/Grow Lights and Heat to have a long enough 'Growing Season'.
ReplyDeleteAnd Y'all need to turn of them Fans... If we get many more Nights of 10 F. or less, I'm going to be finding my Horse is Hiding under the Bed... and He Farts. A Lot.
PP at the Smallhold is whining up a bloody blue streak so I have decided not to reload The Alberta Clipper Machine. My own ambient Hot Air is warming the province up nicely and I will send some of that down for you Yanks presently.
DeleteBut - just be aware!!! If any of you Yanks in the Banana Belt pish me off - ol' Grandfather Frost will be around to straighten you all out!!! Test my patience at your peril!!! HAR HAR HAR!
Frost? Whassa matta witchu, boy? You grow your contraband indoors, hydroponically, duh. Just be sure to tell them you’re growing virtuous pot and not sinful tobacco when the giraffes ask about your newly increased electric and water bills.
ReplyDeleteGoofy white wimmenz are NOT running the fallen remnants of the West. They are merely fronting for the Real Rulers. Er, I meant to say Real VICTIMS. Always the victims for no reason at all. Never any reason. Poor, poor, powerless and eternally virtuous victims.
Re vaxx: I broke down and got the Novavax. NOT an mRNA concoction but supposedly a traditional (actual) vaccine. Had quite the long talk with the nurse who gave me the shots. (At a private medical lab — the big hospitals around here, including mine, are not providing Novavax. Nothing suspicious about that I’m sure….) Nurse said the amount of adverse reactions that she’s personally seen to Pfizer/BioNTech or Moderna vaxx is 5 to 10x what’s being reported by her site. One data point FWIW.
Anyway, one week after second Novavax and do far no adrsf hmm m
Yep. I used to be a 'stand by Israel' kinda guy... but the happy merchants are weaponizing quite a few of the victim demographics and if you look hard at those guys... a lot of THEIR craziness is driven by the Sarah's and Rebecca's where as with us it is the Karens.
DeleteOr at least, so it would seem to this ignorant racist/homophobe/sexist bigot... Once you see the pattern it is hard NOT to see it. They seem hellbent on pulling the roof down on themselves as well...
Tobacco is a heavy feeder. If you let some go to seed you will have a never ending supply of seeds. Big brown paper wasps are your friend. They will deal with tobacco and tomato worms and are amazing to watch doing it.
ReplyDeleteI have never planted other than right in the ground. They do not take frost well at all.
ReplyDeleteYup, I am going to start the seeds indoors and then transplant them outside at the end of May - or that was my thinking. I am also going to let some go to seed as well and see if I can harvest some of those... I am unfortunately... a 'brown' thumb.
Delete(Pete - don't say it!!!!)
I grew Rustica. Bought like 1/32 gm of seeds. First year I let about half that grew go to seed and had over half a CUP. I also got a nicotine buzz just handling green flower tops and green seed pods.
DeleteAccording to my Sunset Western Garden book, Nicotiana sp. can grow in all 24 climate zones. You'll just have to be careful about frost and start indoors. I checked Wikipedia, and their article on Tobacco is mostly leftist twaddle, but there is a section on cultivation, and the best thing about Wiki is the references, 122 of them on this page.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your seegar crop. We look forward to regular reports of progress.
I moved from the U.K. to New Zealand almost 30 years ago. A pack of 25 smokes was about $6 NZ then. Now they are $40 !!!. My wife (she's a Kiwi) and I still smoke, but a lot less. We both have major chronic pain and other problems and having a smoke keeps us the right side of homicide lol. Since Jackboots Jacinda took power here the bare authoritarianism is a sight to behold! Sorry for any typos and rambling, had a fall 5 weeks back, busted 3 fingers (and dislocated them, 2 fingers at 2 joints) and fractured what's left of my kneecap. I'm so clumsy I could trip over my own shadow and break a leg lol. Up the Revolution!!
ReplyDeleteBless your heart Brother. You boys down there need to tie that twaddle up in a tree and let her swing like a wind chime if'n you know what I mean. Good Lord she's an ugly horse-faced bint, how in the hell did she win a popular erection, I mean... oh, right, they cheated there, too.
Deletethe tall poppies are the bait don't let yourselves be drawn in
DeleteYou guys are as excited as a bunch of teenagers growing some pot. Cracks me up. I ordered my optic 8 lights from Canada or a distributor there. I mentioned lights in the other post. Indoors will be part of your season I'm sure if you want good size. Never grew tobacco but from what I see it's similar. Dont forget the panda film to increase lights potential. Pick a light with blue and red lights or get a separate light if tobacco responds to those in that part of the indoor grow phase. Again.. good luck. Spend the money on lights. Go cheap on the rest.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the info Hedge!!!👍
DeleteI laugh out loud as the Left's War with Trump continues to have exploding cigars burst in their face, leaving that taste of Victory snatched by Defeat. It is no wonder they are batshit crazy - they get a swift kick in the palapas as charges levied are dropped. Seven years of Trump investigations and they think the next investigation will yield results in Trumps conviction. Stupid bastards.
ReplyDeletehere in va. we planted tobacco in beds covered by a semi transparent membrane. it used to be cloth but now plastic several weeks ahead of last frost. had to be careful to roll the tarp back on warmer days and recover every night. transplanted them in may at about 10 or 12 inches tall. we planted flue cured, which you pull leaves as they mature and cure them in a barn with heaters. last pulling was before the frost came back, if we were lucky. now days it frosts well before the top/highest quality leaves are mature. global warming my ass.
ReplyDeleteHey Glen, I grew tobacco here in Alberta and Im a good two hours drive north of you. Yes, start indoors same as tomatoes and transplant outside. They start as an extremely tiny plant but grow fast. The secret here in the north is to keep their feet warm, raise them up in a container or transplant them into holes in a clear plastic ground cover which will heat the soil around the plant. It is an amazing plant, with a good rich soil they get huge quite fast. The problem I had was not growing the leaves, but curing and aging them, the air is so dry here in Alberta about the time you need to cure. Look into building a curing box where you can control temperature and humidity. There is a site that has good links and also sells bulk tobacco www.leafonly.com. Have fun! (by the way, same grow method raises monster corn as well, heh)
ReplyDelete