Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Tuesday, 31 January 2023

The Filthie Hypermotard


The big motards put slicks on half the time too.
I don’t see the merit in that but
whadda I know?

I think “motard” was a term coined by either BMW or KTM to describe the (then) new breed of “adventure motorcycles” that were becoming all the rage. I looked at them and even did a 1000cc V-Strom for awhile but they turned me right off. They’re pigs on the road and worse in the dirt! In the dirt you want to be light and nimble. On the road you want to be low and stable. The new motards looked awesome… but they were a hybrid that took the worst attributes of the street bikes, the worst of the trail bikes…and combined them into one big POS. I hated them…but their owners loved them. To each their own… but for my money, that kind of riding was best done on the old school midweight enduros. The classic 650 XL, DR, and KLRs come to mind.

But I suppose if you are out to impress the young bubblegummers… being a motard is better than being a retard.

There Once Was A Woman From Venus….


What a disappointment eh? Acid rain, hot enough to boil lead, poisonous corrosive atmosphere. The whole place is just a great big write-off.  It’s interesting - the guys that beak off about Russians being nothing more than drunken peasants and thugs - only the Russians have managed to put actual probes on the surface. Their rocket engines are the best in the world and NASA was actually buying them at one point - they run at higher temps and pressures than American ones.

If I recall, Bud Abbot and Lou Costello went to Venus and it was a lush green tropical paradise populated by beautiful women? That was back in the day though, when Hollywood wanted to entertain kids rather than groom them…

When We Were Kings


Chooseday Ramble: Spoiled


Hey - listen up you tards. Unfortunately this blog is canadian and we have to adhere to some forms of speech control! Example: It is NOT Tuesday. It's Choose-day. Say it right, you capitalist pig dog yankees!!! I'll even put it in a sentence for ya so you know how to say it right. 

"It's Chooseday morn - and I was oot and aboot." 

Anyone that does not abide by canadian speech controls will get a wedgie they'll never forget!!!!

This morn I got siphoned at the clinic and got up with the birds. I re-joined the stubfart bowbenders out in the country because they finally put up a heated building. It's rough, has a dirt floor (for now)... but it's warm and its home. If I poop the bed at 03:00 - I could just throw the bowcase in the Dawg mobile and go shoot any time I want - day or night! It's simply awesome. I had my clinic appt. done and my shooting done by 9:00am!  I'm rusty - my arm is a little creaky but I got 60 good arrows in today and yesterday. I will take the day off tomorrow to let the muscles have a day off.

It's definitely not cold out here but it sure feels like it. Today my hands stuck to the metal gate when I unlocked it to get in and I just felt cold. We've been chinooking up here and when winter comes back it feels much worse than it actually is. We had a bunch of snow but most of it has melted. The sweet thing is that we will have another chinook kicking in this weekend. We are planning to take Mort out to meet a puppy and if he agrees we might bring one home.

Have a goot chooseday morn everyone - and thanks for dropping by.

When Did We Get One Of Those…?


Since when did we get a “scientific community”?
I haven’t seen a real scientist in decades.
They ARE out there…but you wouldn’t listen to them…

Hmmmpfffff. Guess Ya CAN Polish A Turd…


I regard these pinky ring knives as foolish things dreamed up by Hollywood. The blades are usually curved like inverted scimitars and in real life they wouldn’t even make good box cutters.  But… a tanto blade? I can respect that were it not for the fact that it’s double edged. The forging work is spectacular as are the handle materials. 

All it needs to be a serious knife is a proper handle and a false edge along the top …


A Non-gay Moped…


Monday, 30 January 2023

Head Gear

I’m partial to the Crusader…
But I’ll bet a handsome man like me 
could rock that Sallet…

Via Anne: A Denial Of Beauty

 By now everyone’s heard about Gerard over at American Digest. I would hang out there sporadically and even pooped in the comments a few times. God…he was a good man. Guys like BP and BCE broke the news and I just sat back and shook my head. They both did beautiful eulogies and gave Gerard a simple elegant send-off that the man would appreciate. Gerard wrote in a simple, elegant fashion that you rarely see these days. He was a courageous writer, as far as that went too. Unlike a lot of elderly boomers, he was willing to face a lot of hard truths and realities - unlike say, someone like Claire Wolfe... who was so set in her mind and ways that she couldn't face certain narratives reliably. Not to knock Claire, I love her and her work, and she was a really good egg...but she and Gerard were products of their times - and those times were certainly better than these in all respects. Their voices will reflect their times. As such, they are priceless.

Barnhardt did one too and raised a spectacular question that Gerard would almost certainly have loved. Does beauty and high art hinge on that of the artist that creates it? It raises the old debate: You-Know-Who is loathed and hated throughout the halls of power and prestige and annals of history because he gathered the collected works of the period’s shittiest people, threw their books into a great big pile…and set them on fire. Commonly left out of that narrative was the fact that he burned books on pedophilia, homosexuality, class envy as pushed by communism, and other rot pushed by a certain (((nameless))) ethnic-religious tribe and other cudgels and black hearts.

Not mentioning any names, of course… 

The usual suspects will no doubt point to the harmless books and a few possible masterpieces that got burned along with all the trash. And I realize I am sailing very close to the line here with a lot of people. But.. I don't trust the narrative anymore. I sure as hell don't trust the fact checkers at all; they have simply lied too many times to me to count. On serious things, too. Hell, I don't trust that pic above - somebody could have photoshopped it and I would never know. That placard may have originally said something decent like "BAN WHITE UNDERWEAR FOR MEN"... who knows? You can't believe anyone anymore. 

I really want to take exception to Barnhardt. But... I won't have anyone censoring me, and I'll be damned if I'll do it to anyone else - with the obvious exception of children. Stopped clocks are right twice a day... I disagree with Barnhardt's brand of militant catholicism, and probably any number of her ideas about artful beauty... but I know there are perverts and degenerates that I will tolerate too. Ayn Rand wrote books that should be mandatory reading for high schoolers.

Ya damned if ya do, damned if ya don't. Tolerating sin to extremes gives us what we have now - pedophiles (queers, mostly) grooming our kids in schools and stocking their libraries with filth and perversion. Go to the other extreme - and you are burning masterpieces like Atlas Shrugged.

Wonder what would Gerard have said about this nonsense?

Sunday, 29 January 2023

The Filthie Antiquitarian: I Say It’s Butthead


“Wonderful 2000 years-old sapphire ring presumably belonged to Roman emperor Caligula, thought depicting his fourth wife Caesonia. [1916x1384]”

That’s either Beavis or Butthead.
Tell me I’m wrong.

Not One F Given


Not gonna happen.

Not gonna gloat. Not gonna say “told ya so!”. During the scamdemic your mask slipped. I see you. I know what you are. I even forgive you… but the road between us is parted. Good luck on your path ahead, sorry about your luck. You knew what that narrative was when you bought into it. 

As you head down your path - I’ll just toss this one out there. Make of it what you will.

Sunday Ramble: Reconquista Deus Reclusiumae

In the depths of winter, with the wind howling outside and the temps diving back into February normals…spring teases and taunts. My blood has started moving again. Somehow I summoned the courage to confront my work bench. The Reclusium is stuffed to the rafters with the junk and plunder acquired after a lifetime of pack ratting and resulted in clutter and catastrophe. It’s not bad; it looks much worse than it actually is… it’s all just a matter of getting started and getting after it. 

Of course after I started cleaning I found a stash of arrows that Pete The Meat shoved down my gullet when he was cleaning out his own man cave. He had two dozen carbon arrows he didn’t need so he gave them to to me. They’re great arrows and only a master grump (like yours truly) can find anything to gripe about in it…but that boy learned from the best. Last year he needed some nocks - so I gave him all of mine because I didn’t use that type…and then a ton of fletch I went sour on too. There was a bunch of other junk I stuck him with too…and if I’m not careful… I’ll get it all back again! 

But… here in the real world… Pete was kind and generous, and I have two dozen super light 3D arrows. They come blazing off my bow at very high speed and fly straight and true too. I’ll shoot them through paper and microtune before the tournaments begin. Y’know I was going to start doing 3D tournaments again a couple years back… but then the faggotry invented Chinkypox and they all got called off. 

FFS I hate Canada. Are you an RC plane flyer? Screw you, you’re grounded. Why? Because NavCanada says so!!! When can I fly again? When we say so, peasant! Don’t be a Nazi!!! Fine, I’ll just shoot my guns at the range… Oh no, you won’t!!! We are banning your guns!!! Don’t be a homophobe!!! Okay! Can I go to church? No! Christians are racists and haters! We should have shut the churches down for good during the scamdemic!!! Ya know what? If Putler ever drops an atom bomb on Ottawa or Queerbec… I will go down to the bar and buy a round for the house. GRRRRRRRRRR…. But I digress. I am fedpoasting. Who cares what those assholes have to say about anything! HAR HAR HAR!  Next thing ya know the fags will try to ban bows too…

I have SO much stuff to get rid of…
but I will get there…

Round the end of January and the beginning of February I start getting cabin fever something fierce. I need to get out; have a campfire and get away from the city. Even if it’s just sleeping out in the truck after a supper of hot dogs over the campfire. I’m waiting on the next chinook.

So it was that with all that in mind … I was on JewTube and I found a certain young fella named Clay Hayes. This kid hunts with and makes self bows. Unlike some of the hunting channels … from what I’m seeing Clay is a real hunter. So many channels feature guys trying to pose as hunter/celebs. They hire guides, pay through the nose for the most current and up to date gear and equipment…and use the vids to flog their brands and show off to their fan bois.  It’s all about likes and subscribes… Often their efforts are little more than poorly made snuff films.

Clay goes out with guides too, from time to time, but most of his hunts are self guided. He gets skunked often, but it doesn’t slow him one iota. If the elk go down the valley, across the river and up the mountain slope covered in two feet of snow… Clay goes after them. Often he’ll get within halitosis range of the animals and kill them and then pack them out. He hunts hard and is an eccentric and fascinating kid. I think I’ll put him up on the toilet roll. I like the way he thinks and lives.  Gawd…another rabbit hole: how’d you like to make and hunt with your own bow? You can! All it takes is time and money…neither of which I seem to have anymore. Maybe in the next life…? 

I hope y’all are having a great Sunday, and that you have something fun lined up for the family. For me…it’s time for some pre-spring cleaning and mundane chores. Keep ya stick on the ice and keep the family close and warm.


Time for the Sunday Morn Sportsman!

Filmed in Filthievision!!!
A flintlock elk hunt? How great is that!?!?
He’s a beardo!

I Am REALLY Trying To Hate This…

 …as befits all 9mm’s with the only exception of the elegant Lugers and C96 Mauser Broomhandles. But…

Oh my goodness. Okay - shorten the lower picatinny rail to something reasonable. Put one on top where it belongs, get that red dot off there and install a set of sweet low profile combat sights…. I’m seeing an elegant well cut full flap holster a la RCMP… with an antiqued or ox blood finish, with a matching mag pouch holding 6 more. Matching belt but you’d want that secondary one that attaches to it and goes over the shoulder…whadda they call that?  

The haters and naysayers can all get stuffed in the comments. Understand that I am an inspired artiste and a formidable Retronaut, and I think and move on a higher plain of existence not understood by lesser, ordinary men.


Sunday Ignorattae, Random Flatulii & Rude Jokes

Saturday, 28 January 2023

Another Gift From Gab


How do ya even manage that? 

I’m trying to imagine what that must a sounded like:

“Gabba gabba weebeejabba mofo crackah jit injun!!!”


The Broken Hearted


Poor Mort.
He is a widower now.

There is nothing you can do for the broken hearted.
Except maybe to be there with them while they heal.

No Apostasy, Heresy, or Ignoramia Allowed


The first mealy mouthed apostate or heretic that starts beaking off about trigger discipline

will be burnt at the stake! Do you realize who your beakin' off at???

It seems to be .22 Day round here at the T-Box...

My buddy had one of those bottom ejecting guns when we were kids and he was a

friggin sniper with it. 

I think they're ugly... but they cost an arm and a leg now and people don't seem to sell

them once they've bought one.

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor


My first shotgun was a Cooey single shot 12 bore that I stole from Pop. He bought me a Winchester pump and I used it for a couple years but went back to the single. I love it because it swings like a dream, it's dirt simple and most of all... because it was Dad's. I still have it. It has to be closing on 100 years old, I should think.

Everyone out this way had a Cooey somewhere or other. My father in law had the best single shot Cooey .22. Without a word of a lie that thing could drive tacks. He gave it to his retarded idiot of a son who stored the thing in a home made wool blanket and forgot it in the basement.... and the rust put an end to it. I swear, had I gotten the opportunity - that little bugger would have shot circles around my CZ.

I have seen the weirdos and beardos in The Backwoodsman and they'll chop these single shots right down and that's the gun they subsist on. Birdshot for the chickens and fowl, slugs for the bigger critters. And - they are just as happy with them as I am with an over stuffed gun safe.

Your Cell Phone’s Blipping…


I suppose this might not be a good time to
talk about pandemic amnesty either…?


Can't wait till JL gets his version of that one...

Tards Le Truant

 Welp - I done it. The Bitter Centurion has been captured and put back to constructive work! I have already pooped in the comments of his cage on his first poast! The smell should inspire some epic rants - AND some darn fine commentary! Back on the blog roll he goes.

Sinister things and darkling shadows continue to accumulate and swirl around Coopville. The poultry runs the affairs of the town and have subjugated their former human masters. They will eventually conquer the world provided Biden doesn’t blow it up first! I have updated the link - I think.

Other bloggers are in the wind or goofing off and neglecting their duties. WL Emery and Borepatch aren’t putting in enough time but that’s okay…life happens.

I am not happy about Gorges Grouse. He’s gone MIA. If anyone sees him or hears from him…please tell him he is missed and has fans.

Keep your corners square everyone! Spring is coming!

 There was a time, long before mine.. where if you said the Japanese would dominate the motorcycle market … people would have said you were nuts.


And yet… I dare say that I would have looked at this and have seen it coming. Apparently HD sold Japan the rights to build the design in the Pacific Rim. I might get beat up for saying it…but mow they build a better Harley than Harley does…at a lower price. 

I believe it may reflect a larger, more unpalatable truth: HD abandoned that market, and the people in it. The kid that needs a cheap ride back and forth to school, the old stubfart that needs a small bike to putt around town, the teenager that yearns for the open road. They dumped all of them to chase the more affluent customers because they meant higher margins and a better return on investment. Nothing personal, America! It’s just business! Only elderly yuppies can afford American pride now.

It’s not just HD, it’s all of ‘em. I don’t think this will end well for anyone.

Party’s Over Uncle Sam…